Why Don't You & I
by theherbflower
Summary: In which there is a rather lusty werewolf; a very pregnant and irritable Lily; a sentimental James; and a dramatic Sirius. Come join them on the journey to harry's birth and through all the mud and muck of Lord Voldemorts reign. RatedM RLNT JPLE SBOC AU
1. Sound Off

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Email: theherbflower at gmail dot com

Chapter One: Sound Off

Playlist: Savior, Audience of One, Ready to fall, Give it all ~ Rise Against Why don't you and I ~ Chad Kroger feat Santanna. Issues ~ Escape the fate. Sound Off ~ Trapt.

DISCLAIMER! I don't own the story or world of Harry Potter. No do I own the song lyrics in the preview. Cheers!

"Lily, there is a deranged psychopath out there trying to find you and James and kill you! Are you really sure that going to the damned muggle market to get frigging chocolate chip muffins is a smart idea?" I snapped at my delusional best friend. "Are you freaking insane?"

"No." Lily huffed before looking back down at the floor with watery eyes. "I'm just having a craving! It wont go away and if I don't get those muffins I'll…" she sniffed back a tear. "I'll just die."

Merlin in heaven help me, here my best friend of fourteen years was eight and a half months pregnant, wanting to go three blocks to the nearest muggle market to get muffins of all things. How could I tell that face no? See now Lily Evans-Potter was always a sneaky one. When she didn't get something she wanted she would do absolutely everything possible in the world to get exactly the thing that she wanted. Including but not limited to; thievery, something she was really into in third year when we were aloud to go into honeydukes in Hogsmeade. She would buy the store down! And then she would steal stashed candies we had hidden in the dormitory; deception, had a bit of a lying streak back in fourth year; bribery, now that was one she never did get out of the habit of; and last but not the least, the puppy dog face. She was notorious at making people do what she wanted, but I was going to have to put my foot down on this one.

Here we've got Voldemort (a very psychotic lunatic hell bent on purifying the wizarding race and wiping non magical/ wizard-like like goblins and everything else off of the face of the planet) running a frigging havoc across the country. Muggle hunting, people killing, building burning, and a loads of other bad shit because he was a deranged nut job. I could not let my best friend who is being hunted down like a dog by that crazed lunatic go out side into the world where she could get killed or worse, just to get a freaking chocolate chip muffin. I wasn't going to allow it. Dumbledore has me here to protect her if anything goes wrong, not drag her into danger eight and a half months pregnant. I can only fathom to imagine what James would do to me if I told him, probably murder me chop me up and feed me to Hagrids fifty foot Acromantula he's got running amok in the forbidden forest.

"Lily. I am not going to let you walk out of this house today. I will stun your ass if I have to so don't push me there." I told her sternly slamming my glass of milk down on the table.

"You really think that He-who-must-not-be-named is really going to be in a muggle market in broad daylight?" she snapped at me. "No! he's not that stupid. So lets just take a damn walk and get my god damned fucking muffin!"

I just sat there in shock. Not once in all of the time that I have known Lily Evans-Potter have I ever heard her swear. At all… Not even damn or shit or… anything. My mouth fell open in aghast at her, holy shit if being a hormonal crazy is what pregnancy is like then I dunno….

"Lilybean, you just swore."

"No shit captain obvious." she huffed at me before shoving her hair behind her back and crossing her arms. "Fine! If you wont let me go walk down the street in the nice sunlight to get me a fucking god damned muffin will you at least go?"

"No." I narrowed my eyes at her. "And leave you unprotected? I'd have my ass skinned by Dumbledore if not worse Mad-Eye." I shook my head and crossed my arms before sitting back in the chair. "Neither one of us is leaving at the moment."

"How can you be so cold hearted Gwendolyn Rose Ackles?" she screeched at me. "I'm your best friend in the whole world, fat and pregnant out to here, and hormonal. All I want is a muffin." she started to cry. "I just want my muffin."

Shit. I had to get her the stupid muffin, and she didn't have the ingredients to make one so that was out of the question. Most if not all of the order members were off at work or doing something important for Dumbledore for except… one person, my favorite person in the whole damned world. Heaven and hell this girl was going to owe me forever if I had to ask help from Sirius Black. And I wont ever forget it. Stupid pregnancy. I am never going to have children. There is no fucking way in all of heaven that I would go through that emotional roller coaster. No way. No how.

"Lily. Shut up and sit there for a minute. I'm going to get you a freaking muffin. Stupid shit! You owe me for this Lily Anne. You will owe me!" I told her before standing up and walking over to the kitchen fire place.

I picked up a handful of floo powder and tossed It into the fireplace. "147 Elmhurst Flats, London." I stuck my head into the fire place and felt the whooshing sensation that was the floo network. After a minute my vision started to clear and the flat of Remus John Lupin and Sirius 'dickface' Black was upon me. It was heaped over with books, news papers, moldy food and clothing that were strewn from one end of the flat to the other. A pink laced bra was dangling quite contentedly from the nearest door knob while Remus's pet cat fluffykins, yes he named his cat fluffykins who was twenty-two and really old, was resting on top of an upturned block style coffee table. Two young male adults living like bachelors in a flat was a nightmare to any and all who should pass. I shook my head and looked around seeing no one.

"Black!" I called out. "Its an emergency! Where the devil are you?"

It was a few seconds before the door knob adorned with the pink laced braw turned and a very irritated Sirius Black stood there completely naked with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"What?" he snapped at me before taking another drink from the bottle.

I closed my eyes.

"I need you to come watch Lily for like ten minutes. Its important."

"Fine. Give me five and I'll get dressed." he said before I heard a door click shut and I opened my eyes.

I pulled out of the floo and looked back over at Lily who had an evil look in her emerald green eyes.

"Who'd you call for help?" she inquired with a smirk on her face. she shook here head while she spoke her words before tilting her nose snottily in the air "The only other person available today is your partner in crime."

I rolled my eyes at her,

"He is not my partner in crime. He's just the idiot that I have to spend eight hours of work with everyday."

"You secretly love it." she smirked. "Admit it! You fancy Sirius Black and there's nothing you can do about it." (Authors note: Merlin fans, you know how morgana talked after she came back from being morgouse's bitch. Imagine that for pregnant Lily but much less evil. J)

"I would rather dig my eyes out with a knife than ever conceive of fancying Sirius freaking Black."

"You rang?" a voice came before the afore mentioned person stepped out of the fireplace dressed this time with that ever present all knowing smirk on his stupid scruffy face. "What is the urgency Gwendolyn, I don't have all day here. I've got some places to go, people to see."

"Don't call me by my whole name you stuffed up chauvinistic pig." I spat. "Lily needs someone to stay with her while I go to the market for her for a few minutes. Think you can handle that tuff guy?" I asked with an irritated growl.

"Always so negative Gwendolyn." he clicked his tongue at me. "Never nice a'tall."

"Will you please watch your best friends wife and unborn child so I can go and get her the stupid fucking muffin she wants from the damned market? Please?" I asked rolling my eyes. The child like man before me wanted me to beg. Sick stupid asshole!

"And what will you do for me in return for this favor?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me in a flirtatious manner. He was getting dangerous here, I was just about ready to rip his spleen out and cram it down his fucking throat. All the rest of the women of Brittan may let him have whatever he wanted from them, but I was not one of those women. Arrogant bastard, always wanting the world at his feet. I hated him. Stupid bastard always knows how to frustrate me.

"What do you want from me for watching Lily for ten minutes so that I can go to the store?" I asked steely dead panned. "If you utter anything vulgar, insulting, insinuating, or disgusting, I will kill you."

"Aww nothing special." he waved his hand out at me. "Just pick me up a pack of beer yeah?"

"Fine." I growled out irritated. "I will get you beer." I rolled my eyes before turning to Lily. "Anything else highness?"

"Can you pick up those mint biscuits you got me last Christmas?" she asked with her watery puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." I turned back to Black who was still grinning like a dumbass. "Just keep her safe for ten minutes or so."

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Don't worry Ackles, I'll keep a close eye on her."

…scenechange…

The handsome man sitting across from me smiled crookedly at me.

"Your really pregnant." he stated obviously.

"What is this? Captain Obvious day? Yes I'm pregnant you fool! You cant tell by the fact that I'm as big as a house and still fucking growing?"

"Lily love, now just calm down and take a chill. I was only noting that your getting lovelier with each passing day." he grinned at me. "How's dealing with the harpy?"

"Don't call my best friend a harpy Black." I narrowed my eyes at him. "And just fine." I huffed. "Speaking of my best friend, when are you to stupid fools ever going to get your heads out of your arses and tell each other that you love one another? Its really painful watching the two of you constantly argue and deny that oh so obvious fact that your in love? When? Just watching the sparks fly between the two of you makes me want to demand James upstairs so that I can…" I was cut off.

"Lily please stop it!" he whined dramatically. "Don't go there! I don't want to know about yours and James's love life!"

"Fine. But really," I sighed. "When?"

"Well Lily love, I think your crazy and the hormones are inducing your craziness cause there is no way the harpy" he winced as I glared at him again. "Sorry, Ackles, and I have any sparks going off other that the need to kill each other on a regular basis." he grinned tilting his head to the side. "I hate her, she hates me. Its very simple really."

"Whatever." I huffed. "You can choose to believe anything you want, but I know the truth. I know you Sirius Orion Black, and I know that you love her. So go ahead convince yourself its not true, but that's just your choice to believe whatever you want. Not reality, and certainly not the truth."

He just stared at me for a few seconds caught off guard. Then with a gust of laughter I've never known, he broke down into hysterical laughter.

"Lily you crack me up. Love." he barked another laugh at me. "With Ackles? Moody'd have my balls. Your crazy there sweetheart. Sure Jamey's been doing his job right?"

"Whatever." I repeated rolling my eyes up the ceiling. "Fine."

"Well come on now Lily darling, can you imagine what Moody would do to me if he knew I was pinning up to Gwen? His little Gwendolyn that he oh so loves and adores cause she's his freaking only niece and family? He would castrate me, and then pin my balls to little boards like those muggles do with bugs. I will seize to be Sirius Black, but a specimen on his wall of hatred towards Gwen's suitors."

I rolled my eyes at him as he gesticulated being strung up on a noose.

"Are you forgetting that Moody likes you. And has even asked you if you'd like to what…" I paused and grinned narrowing my head close to him. "Court her. So don't tell me that he would kill you, that's just an excuse." I smirked. "So go ahead, I wont say anything. Admit it! To yourself, to me, and to reality."

"How can I admit something that isn't true?" he countered. "I can assure you the only feelings going on between the two of us are feelings of pure unadulterated hatred."

"More excuses." I told him evenly. "You know and I know. And for the moment." I smirked at him evilly. "That's all that matters. One day you'll own up and recognize, and that day will be sweet satisfaction to me."

"Lily darling, would you like some tea?" he asked evenly with a smile. "I'm parched. I'm thinking earl grey if you would prefer something else?"

"Change of subject Sirius? So quick and effective." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'll take a cup a earl grey thank you. Ooh and some of those mallomars that are sitting next to the sink?"

"But of course my lady." he puffed his chest up and walked over to the kettle sitting on the stove. He quickly took the green liquid container from its perch on top of a burner and rushed over to the sink where he filled the kettle full up of hot water. He then returned to the stove and sat the kettle down before reaching into the cabinet to grab down the tea jar. It took five minutes for the water to boil and be served up into two of my mahogany colored mugs that my grand dad bought James and I for our wedding gift. The tea was then added by the teaspoon and brought over to me with a whole large plate of mallomars which were these awesome little muggle pastries that were half cookie half banana marshmallow. And oh heavenly light, they were soo good. I pulled one up from the plate and stuffed it into my mouth before chewing it up and swallowing all the while being in pure taste bud heaven.

"Uh Lily." Sirius asked looking at me with worried eyes. "I don't think your supposed to love food that much. Now James." he sat his mug down after taking a long drink. "I can see that but food… that was a bit much."

I felt my eyes water and my lips quiver.

"Are you telling me that I'm fat?"

"No darling, I am not calling you fat. You just go ahead and eat that whole plate of your cookie things and I'll just smile and keep my mouth shut." he grinned taking another drink of his tea.

…scenechange…

The muggle market place was packed with people. And it was sweltering hot outside, almost unbearable. I sighed as I made my way though a throng of elderly muggle women to get to the muffin stand that held the largest variety of muffins I'd ever in all my life seen. I quickly picked up a tray of chocolate chip before picking up a tray of banana nut, which were my favorite but since I'm hear anyways. I smirked to my self before turning around and walking back to get Black the damn beer he wanted so much. I was half way back to the beer section when I noticed something odd out of the corner of my vision. A tall dark shape ducked behind a row of canned vegetables and out of sight. I slowed my pace down and did a double take of my surroundings. There were people all around me all chipperly going about they're shopping. I kept walking towards the beer section feeling the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Someone was watching me, and I've got the biggest sensation that its not a good thing. I stuffed the muffins in my right arm as I picked up six pack of Newcastle. I turned around and headed back up towards the counter to pay for my purchases. I dipped behind the candy isle and picked up a can of mint biscuits before heading to the only available cashier.

"Will this be all for you today miss?" the old man handling my purchases asked me cheerfully.

"Um actually can I get a pack of smokes. And that'll be all."

"Of course. Just a moment." he told me before walking off towards the cigarrette wall to grab what I wanted. "Any particular type?" he called over to me.

"Nah, just whatever." I told him before looking around me again due to my gut feeling that someone was there when the shouldn't be.

"Here you are." he handed me a red and gold pack. "That will be 10 pounds even." he smiled.

I handed him my muggle money and picked up the bag he'd placed what I bought in and the beer. "Keep the change." I told him before walking out of the market.

Instead of heading the way I came to the market from Lily and James's, I headed the opposite direction towards the park. I ducked quickly behind an alley way and sat my purchases down on the ground before taking out my wand. My uncle who took care of me after my mothers death always told me 'Constant Vigilance' and I take that to heart. Its helped me out a few times. Saved my ass during some death eater raids. Just as I am positive that its going to save my ass right now because I know there is someone that will round that corner in the spit of second and it will not be a friend. Quickly I crouched behind a dumpster and peered around to watch. And I was right, a dark robbed individual came around the corner before looking around confusedly. They were approximately five foot seven and looked to way a good hundred and seventy pounds. The robed person started to make they're way down the alley way with they're wand out. He, as I could identify them now as a male due to the fact that I see no breast indications, kicked a large box which was housing an old looking dog that looked to be half dead. I stood up quickly and walked out pointing my wand at him.

"Looking for someone?" I asked tilting my head. "Did your master send you out to trail a wee little girl?"

"Avada Kedavra." they yelled sending a jet of green light at me which I quickly dogged and countered with a stunner. The imbecile calling himself a member of the death eaters fell to the ground stunned. I walked over to him and obliviated him before turning my attention to the dog who gave me a sad whine. Upon further inspection I realized that the dog was by no means old, but very mistreated and starving. I swore under my breath before walking over to my purchases grabbing them in one hand before walking back over to the dog and picking it up with my other. I then made the long trek towards the house.

…scenechange…

"Sirius would you please just sit." Lily barked at me as I was pacing the length of the parlor room. "I'm sure she got distracted in the chocolate section. You and I both know she's addicted to the stuff."

"No. She said ten minutes Lily. Its been forty. Something is wrong." I told her bringing my pacing to a halt. "I've got a bad feeling."

She just rolled her emerald green eyes and me and flicked a strand of her auburn hair behind her in her usual snottish attitude

"Your just over reacting. Gwen is fine." she sighed. "Though I'm getting irritated cause I want my damned muffin."

"Is that all you can think about?" I snapped at her. "What if death eaters found her? What if she's dead or worse? Just because you wanted a muffin."

Her eyes began to water and her lips to quiver. Merlin pregnant women were a pain to deal with. I crossed the room and sat down next to her before slinging my arm around her comfortingly.

"I'm sorry Lily darling, I'm just worried about Ackles. She's been gone to long."

"Sirius." Lily sighed at me. "Please just calm down." she told me rubbing my back soothingly. "She'll be fine."

"How do you know?" I asked with a sigh, I mean sure Ackles got under my skin, but I couldn't imagine not working together with her. Sure we fought a lot, well more like all the time, but I still sorta care for her. And I know something is wrong.

It was at this moment that the front door swung open and in stalked a very red and angry looking Gwendolyn Ackles. She was carrying beer and a bag in one hand and a wounded animal in the other. I just sat there and stared at her. She made me worry over her because she had to save a stray dog?

"Lily Anne!" she barked. "If you ever again ask me to go to the market for anything I will kill you!" she sat the stuff she had in one hand down and set the dog down out of her other. She gave Lily a scathing look before picking up a wrapped tray of muffins and handing it to her with a glare. Then she walked back over, picked up the dog and went into the kitchen.

"Ohh muffins." Lily cheered before opening the package and pulling out what she wanted. "So beautiful." she smiled at it before eating it with really slow gusto. I mean how can someone eat something with passion? It was almost like she was making out with it. I shook my head at her and stood up before walking into the kitchen.

"What the hell took you so long?" I snapped as I stepped into the kitchen. "You said ten minutes! Its been over half an hour!"

"Oh shut up Black." Gwen rolled her eyes at me before kneeling down to feed the dog something she'd gotten from the fridge. "Nothing I obviously couldn't take care of easily."

"What the hell does that mean?" I demanded walking over to her. "You didn't run into trouble did you?"

"Kind of." she sighed standing up and walking over to the cupboard and pulling out a bowl. "Just some clueless death eater that was following me. Nothing important." she filled the bowl up with water and walked back over to the animal that was now eating the meat Gwen had given it with gusto.

"You could have been killed and you say its not important?" I snapped at her. "Are you fucking insane woman?"

"Don't." she growled standing up and glaring at me. "Call me woman Black."

"So then you admit to the fact that your crazy?" I raged. "Your uncle would fucking kill me if I let you walk out of here into the arms of death. So don't say its not important."

"Why are you being so over protective you git?" she snapped at me while narrowing her eyes and holding her right arm on her hip. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" I yelled. "Why do I _care_?"

Wait a minute, why did I care?

"Yes you dumbass! Why the fuck do you care? And don't use the uncle excuse."

"Because you were gone too long and I got worried." I sighed at her before walking over to Prongs's liquor cabinet and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. "Cause as much as you fucking drive me up a god damned wall, I care." I sighed grabbing a glass and pouring the amber liquid into it. "I don't want you to get hurt." I turned back around and narrowed my eyes at her. "Now what exactly happened?"

She glared at me before sighing and handing the dog another piece of meat.

"I walked in the sweltering heat down to the store. While in the store I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and realized that someone was watching me. So I finished up in the store and took the opposite direction as to not lead them to Lily and the baby. I ducked behind an alley and waited them out. It was just some lackey that was sent to tail me. I quickly stunned him and obliviated him. It was no real biggy Black. So take a chill pill."

"No I will not take a chill pill. What if it was someone like Malfoy or Rosier? Someone skilled enough to take you down single handedly. Its not 'no real biggy' you need to protect yourself! You shouldn't have left in the first place! I could have gone instead of you."

She rolled her eyes at me before leaning against the counter next to me.

"Really? Like Malfoy or Rosier would go out into broad daylight in a muggle infested area just to follow me? Really Black? That's what your sticking to?"

"Why do you always have to be so damned stubborn?" I asked her with a glare. "You are way too 'I'm gonna kick ass' when you should remind yourself that sometimes you cant always win in a fight! It could have been anyone! You could have died! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"Not really! If I died in battle trying to protect someone that I loved, I would do so gladly."

I just stared at her. Long gone is the timid girl I knew in Hogwarts. And in her place was a mini version of Moody. I shook my head at her and sighed again.

"Just don't go out again alone." I told her before looking over to the dog sleeping in the sunlight from the back door. "And how'd the dog come about?"

"The doucebag following me kicked a box in the alley way and discovered him. He was about to kill him when I popped up from out of my hiding spot behind this big old smelly garbage can. Saved the dog, stunned the idiot." she grinned. "All in a days work."

"Don't go getting too big headed now." I snorted at her. "Are you gonna keep him?"

"Yeah. I was thinking names on the walk back here. Poor thing, was shivering in my arms Black. I almost started to cry." she sighed grabbing my glass of whiskey and downing it. "On that merit alone I'm keeping him."

"You hate dogs." I reminded her refilling my glass. "They scare you."

"Ok. Your right. I don't like dogs." she rolled her eyes. "And yes I'm afraid of them due to the incident that will never be repeated." she narrowed her teal eyes at me. "But he need someone to love him, and I'm gonna be that person. S'not like I've got anyone else to keep me company at home. Besides Mad-eye but he's usually hauled up in his study going over battle plans."

"Figures. Only your uncle would go over strategy plans while at home when he should be resting and taking in life." I chuckled. "Will Mad-eye even let you keep him? He's not fond of dogs either."

She rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Mad-eye has always let me have what I wanted. I'm sure I can keep the dog." she smiled over at the pooch. "I wonder what breed of dog he is?"

"Looks like a Husky to me." I told her taking a drink from my glass. "Maybe has a little bit of Shepard in him."

"Hmmn." she hummed before walking back over to the snoozing pooch. "He's cute." she said before petting his ears.

"So what's going on in here?" asked Lily's voice from the door way where she stood with the tray of muffins resting lightly on her swollen belly. "And what's up with the dog?" she asked taking another bite of her muffin. "He wont chase Fluffy will he?"

"Doubt it Lilybean." Gwen grinned at her. "If only I could take a picture of this moment." she indicated to Lily's use of her stomach as a table for the muffin tray. "Eight and half months pregnant and using your child as a table for your muffin tray. Boy would I love to show that one about the office."

"Shut up Gwendolyn Rose Ackles, or I just might go and find that picture of you with that old stuffed rabbit of yours." Lily quipped back with a smirk. "Or I might go and find that stuffed rabbit you still to this very day sleep with."

"Burn in hell Lily Anne!" Gwen sighed. "And please stop using the whole name. I really hate it. My father just had to ruin my life all ways around."

"Speaking of your father." I interrupted them. "He wanted to see you yesterday in the office. Came in looking for you with his usual sadistic gleam in his eyes. Told him you were out sick."

"But I wasn't." she said confused. "And what did the stupid bastard want?"

I gulped knowing what I said next would piss her off.

"He left some of your mothers stuff. In a couple of boxes." I told her slowly leaving out the hectic conversation that occurred during the drop off. "I locked them up in Moody's office for you to get tomorrow when your in again."

She growled plopping down on the floor next to the dog all the while petting him. She crossed her legs and put her head down.

"Oh look!" Lily pointed to the window. "An owl." she walked over to the window to let the owl in. After the letter was delivered the small brown owl took back off into the air. "Its from James." she swooned sitting down in a chair and opening the letter.

"What are you leaving out Black?" Gwen looked up and asked with dark eyes. "I know that your leaving something out. That bastard was never one to do things simply. I would know." she growled.

"He said that he had to get rid of the shit, he couldn't take looking at it and being reminded of that slut anymore."

"Figures." Gwen snapped out. "Bastard was always sick in the head. My mother the slut?" she laughed out in a hallow tone. "He's the fucking slut."

"Whiskey?" I held my glass out to her.

She nodded her head, stood up, and walked over to get the afore mentioned drink. Like usual she downed it in one go and refilled it.

"Thanks." she said taking another sip. "I needed that."

I rolled my eyes at her. She always needed it. And she had the nerve to call me the drunk half of the time. Ok well I kinda am most of the time but hey! She is no better.

"The order meetings in an hour." I pointed at the clock next to Lily.

"No." Lily broke in. "There is an emergency meeting right now." she stood up and walked over to the shoe rack next to the back door. "Lets go."

…scenechange…

Authors Note: Hello lovelies! Hopefully you all enjoyed the chapter. Its kinda jumpy, but I'm trying to get everyone in the story. This is mostly cannon and will remain so. J with of course, the alternate ending to the cannon saga. J cheers, thf note: I will update once weekly.


	2. Never Again

Story: Why don't you & I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter Two: Never Again

Playlist: Nightmare ~ Av7x. My Chemical Romance ~ Nanana. Sound off~ Trapt

"This meeting is called to order on the 17th of June in the year 1981 for Albus Dumbledore founder of the Order of the Phoenix and headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by I, Alastor Ashlyn Moody" Moody barked out to the assembled group before him. "This meeting is called into being due to an emergency regarding upper divisions of the ministry being found of having been infiltrated by Voldemort's followers." Moody growled looking over at Dumbledore who was sitting quite calmly in a chair. "It has come to my attention that one Rolf J. Ackles head of international magical affairs is in fact deemed to be working for Voldemort. Certain un reveal able Intel have come forward indicating this accusation three months ago." he looked out over the crowd of order members looking for one face in particular which he found towards the back with a very unpleasant look on her face. "After careful deduction and a very quiet investigation, it has been confirmed that Rolf J. Ackles is in fact, a death eater."

The group before Moody inwardly gasped at the situation at hand. For an upper level official in the ministry of magic to have been confirmed a death eater was a death sentence. It made Voldemort one step closer to taking control, and nobody wanted that. Moody looked back up at his niece in the corner who was still glaring and sighed. "There will be a guard posted outside of the Ackles estate from now until a month hence to obtain intelligence regarding other suspected ministry officials of death eater activities. I will be assigning the first shift to Black and Ackles. Shift starts at 21:00." Moody barked over to the corner where his niece was. "Any other news?"

"There was an attack today." Sirius Black called out from the back corner. "Between the hours of 13:00 and 13:50."

"Black shut up!" Gwendolyn Ackles smacked him in the head.

"What do you mean there was an attack?" Moody growled at his protégé. "On who? And where?"

"I was requested as back up to watch Lily Evans-Potter while Gwendolyn went on an errand for her." Sirius replied "I was informed by the afore mentioned that while in the muggle market she felt that she was being watched. After Gwendolyn purchased what she had intended to buy she lured the watcher behind an alley way where she told me she stunned him and obliviated him."

"Is this true?" Moody demanded of his niece who was now glaring daggers at Sirius Black who looked quite unaffected by them.

"Yes Sir." Gwen growled out. "This is true."

"And why did you not report to me immediately afterwards?" Moody growled back at her. "Did you not think it was important to tell me that you were attacked?"

"We received the summons for a meeting just after I returned to the Potter home. We came strait here." she told him elbowing her partner in the stomach. "Of course I thought it important to inform you of activity in the Potter area. My mentors taught me better Sir."

"I want a word with you when this meeting is adjourned." Moody barked at her. "Anymore news that needs to be shared?" he asked the rest of the group assembled before him. "Good then. Meeting adjourned."

The group residing in the front room of the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix started to stand up and stretch before milling about and socializing. In the far left hand corner of the room sat a rather disgruntled and exhausted Remus John Lupin. In his right hand a glass of bourbon was clasped tightly, in the left a nearly out cigarette. The tired man sighed as the people around him milled about talking and catching up after the long days events. Remus quickly looked up and caught sight of his friends James and Sirius talking in hushed voices about something most likely the events that transpired near the Potter house hold that day. With a groan the aching Remus Lupin stood up and butted his cigarette before downing the contents of his bourbon glass and making his way over to where his friends were standing. Sirius had a nasty look on his face and in counter, James had a quite amused look on his.

"What's going on?" Remus inquired of his friends softly. "How's Gwen?" he asked Sirius who just rolled his eyes.

"Not you too Moony. All this crap about feelings is really starting to annoy me." Sirius rolled his eyes at him before turning to James. "I am not in love you stupid git. And if I were, it wouldn't be with the harpy herself."

"Don't call Gwen names." Remus snapped at his friend irritably. "And we've been trying to convince you that you do have feelings for her for quite a few years now Padfoot. Really just man up and accept them."

"I do freaking not!" Sirius protested to his friends. "This is madness!"

"You ratted her out to her uncle. Beat her to the punch." James supplied to his friend. "Lily told me you wore a hole in our parlor room floor."

Sirius growled at his friends.

"When will you idiots give this a rest?" Sirius snapped at them. "I don't have feelings for her!"

"They'll never give it a rest mate." came the fourth voice of Ted Tonks. "Because its for one, true; for two; we're all betting on it, and three; so obvious a blind man could see it." Ted Tonks smiled before clapping his cousin in law on the back happily. "Just admit it, might do you some good. I for one denied that I had feelings for Andy for the longest time, always telling people that they were nuts that she was a Slytherin and that I was Gryffindor and a muggle born. Look how far that went eh? A seven year marriage and a very beautiful daughter out of the deal. There really is no use ignoring what's the truth you know."

"Whatever." Sirius sighed at the three of his friends before him. "Think what you want."

"We will." Remus told him with a smile. "We do."

"We have since sixth year when we caught you calling her name out.." James was quickly silenced by his friends wand.

"I will remind this entire room of the whole thinking Snape looks hot while in drag debacle if you finish that statement ever again." Sirius growled at James who just smiled and kept mouthing over and over again what he was saying.

…scenechange…

I followed my uncle out of the front room of the headquarters of the order of the phoenix to a small back room where I knew I was going to be raked over the coals about not informing him strait away after the attack. If I had my way I wouldn't have told him at all. Stupid Black. I would make the stupid bastard pay for this one. It almost felt like I was headed back to my death sentence at the way my uncle was walking, but hell he's in trouble with me too! Didn't even indicate at all to me that he suspected my stupid bastard of a father of being a death eater! I mean really? What was he trying to prove by keeping me in the dark? The hallways slithered together quickly as we headed into the back of headquarters which was once Dumbledore's home himself. Before he took up his position as headmaster and no longer needed a homestead. I sighed as we reached the back room. My uncle, who was glaring at me, opened up the door and held it open for me. I stepped inside and walked strait to the window over looking the back yard where I could see Lily and Alice talking with Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows.

"What in the hell is wrong with you?" Uncle Al growled at me.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I snapped turning around. "What about you! You suspected that bastard was a death eater and didn't even let me know! You kept me in the dark about it! Made me feel like a complete fool in front of the order members!"

"I did that for your safety Gwendolyn Rose! And you know it." he growled at me. "Now explain to me what happened?" he demanded of me. "With every single detail you remember."

"Ugh!" I sighed exasperated at him. "Black already told you!"

"I want to hear it from you Gwendolyn. Now."

"Lily wanted freaking muffins. So I like the good best friend I am, asked jerk wad to watch her so that I could go and procure said muffins for her. After a very long swelteringly hot walk to the muggle market two blocks away I felt like I was being watched. I seen a dark shape duck behind a canned vegetable isle." I sighed sitting down on the settee next to the window. I rolled my eyes and continued. "I made my way through the store, got the rest of what I was sent to get and paid for them at the check out. Then I led whoever was following me in the opposite direction so that nobody would know where James and Lily are stationed. I ducked behind an alley way three and a half blocks away from the market and hid behind a trash bin where I waited my stalker out. I was right that it was a death eater as the person following me rounded the corner and looked around rather dumbly for me. He kicked a box that had a starving animal and moved to kill it when I jumped up from behind the trash bins and asked him if he was looking for someone. He sent the death curse at me which I dodged and countered with a stunner. Then I stunned him, gathered my stuff up and walked back to the Potter house."

Uncle Al just sighed at me before pulling me into a hug. Which was odd as Uncle Al wasn't known to show affection. I've been living with him since the death of my mother in my sixth year at Hogwarts. I hugged back and relaxed into the hug. Hell if he was offering up one of my favorite things I was taking it, no questions asked.

"I'm just glad that your safe." he whispered in my ear softly. "Cant imagine loosing you pumpkin."

"Hey I'm a good fighter. I wasn't about to let some stupid death eater take me down." I told him with a smile. "And if I didn't get Lily her muffin back to her she'd probably bring me back from the dead just to kill me for it." I chuckled at him.

"Pregnant women are a nightmare." Uncle Al told me before pulling back and smiling at me. "Your mom was horrible with you. Demanding cookies on a regular basis. I started having my house elf make whole batches for her when she came over to visit." he chuckled. "Always the same, Peanut Butter and…"

I cut him off.

"Chocolate chip. I know. You've told me a million times." I grinned. "Just like you tell me about how I used to crawl around and tell people I was a pumpkin."

"Because you adored the color orange." he smiled. "Or that you used to swear your name was Rose because you hated the fact that your first name sounded like some disease. Or so you thought."

"Still do." I smiled. "Though the only two people in the whole world that can get away with it are you and Black."

"Ahh yes Black. When are you two ever going to get a move on? This whole love dance is getting rather ridiculous pumpkin."

I groaned and buried my head in his chest. Stupid people who wont accept that there are no feelings or love dances between Black and I.

"Uncle Al!" I protested. "Its never gonna happen. Just get over it already."

"You chose to believe whatever you want Pumpkin." he chuckled. "But I know you better. And there is no use lying to me."

"I just don't want to make the same mistakes mum did." I sighed. "I don't want to fall head over heels in love only to fall on my face. I love mum, and I miss her everyday." I told him feeling my voice waver caking itself with tears. "But I dislike the fact that she chose him. He was her doom. And I don't want to follow in her footsteps."

"Who says you will?" Uncle Al asked lifting my chin up so that he could look in my eyes with his. "I hated your father from the moment he came home with you mother. There was something evil and twisted about him. The difference is I like Black. He's a good match. You both work better together then all of the rest of my Auror's. So do yourself a favor and stop thinking he's your father. Because I don't sense that from him. He's a good man Gwendolyn, and I think if you just stopped letting your mind do the talking and start letting your heart everything would be just fine."

"I dunno Uncle Al." I sighed. "I don't think its ever going to happen. So I'm telling you not to get your hopes up."

"And I'm telling you not to discredit the whole on just the one thing." he smirked at me, his large eye spinning around happily in its socket. "By the way we have a visitor." he told me before he yelled towards the door, "Come in Black. I expect you're here to hear your orders for this evening?"

"Yeah. And Dumbledore sent me to fetch you, told me it was something important." Black told him before walking into the room.

"Right." Uncle Al barked at him. "Now listen up. Gwendolyn yes I know you don't want to do this but you are the one person who knows the Ackles estate the best since you did grow up there. I want you there at 21:00 on the dot and I want a report from both of you at 07:00 in the office. At 08:30 I want a debriefing in my office. After that you have the day off of work. I want the same pattern repeated for four nights. Am I understood?" he barked at us pulling out of the hug. "Now I shall go see what Dumbledore wanted." he nodded at the both of us before ducking out of the room.

I looked up at Black who was watching me as if in some weirdo trance.

"Black why are you staring at me?" I asked him with a glare. "Its rather creepy if I don't say."

"You and Mad-eye were just hugging!" he stammered at me.

"Mad-eye is my uncle. And the only family I have left. Of course we were hugging." I told him irritably. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No." he sighed to me. "Just odd. I've never seen Mad-eye show any type of affection for anyone. It caught me off guard."

"Well now you know my uncle has a soft side. If I were you I wouldn't go telling people about it, might get you into a load of trouble." I smirked before walking to the door.

"I wouldn't." He smirked following me out of the room. "Ready for our new mission?"

"No." I rolled my eyes at him. "Watching my sicko father, definitely not one of my more favorable things to do."

"You get to take down said sicko father…"

"True." I grinned at him. "I'll make him pay for everything he's done. And I'll prove to the world that he killed my mother."

"We love." he slung his arm around my shoulder.

I looked up at him with a glare.

"You have three seconds after I finish talking to remove your arm or I will beat the crap out of you Black."

"Ahh sweet Gwendolyn, always so negative aren't we?"

..scene..change..

"Why does it have to be so bloody cold?" I asked Black with a whine. "And why in the fucking hell are we twenty feet off of the ground in a damned tree?"

"Because we're less noticeable up here." he replied to the last first. "And because you never wear anything more than a long sleeved undershirt for warmth. Its not my fault your nuts and wont dress properly for over night missions in the rain."

"Yeah but we're in more freaking danger up here!" I whined. "And shut up Black. I can wear as little cloth as I want."

"Oh please." he rolled his eyes. "And if you want you can get naked, I promise I wont be bothered by it. In fact It just might warm me up personal…" I elbowed him in the gut. "Ow woman! Why are you always freaking hurting me?"

"Because your always a fucking git! And stop calling me woman!" I snapped at him. "I will not tolerate you stupid arrogant pig headed chauvinistic ways, I'm not every other idiot witch in the world who find you what was it Marlene called you, 'Oh so dreamy'" I faked a swoon.

"Whatever Gwendolyn." he smirked at me. "I am dreamy, you are just to stubborn to accept it."

"Sure Black. Whatever you want to believe." I rolled my eyes. "What time is it watch keeper?"

"05:38 in the morning."

"Still another hour." I sighed. "This sucks." I whined. "And its ffing cold!"

"Why is it you transverse between three different main curse words? Fucking, freaking, and ffing?"

"I don't know." I told him with a bewildered look. "Its whatever comes out of my mouth. You should talk Mr. Tactless."

"I am not Tactless!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are freaking too!"

"I am not! You harpy!"

"I'm not a harpy you baboon! And yes you fucking are! You told Lily she looked fat six months pregnant; you told Dumbledore he should wear dresses more often during an order meeting and were completely serious! You are tactless and stubborn to admit it."

"Shrew!" he snapped at me with an angry look on his stupid scruffy face. "You're the shrewdest person I've ever known!"

"I am not!"

"Are so!"

"Whatever you baboon, I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am freaking not!"

"Are freaking too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

We glared at each other after that.

"Well, well, well." a voice below us drawled. "Look at this, two fighting birdies in a tree."

I looked down quickly only to find the tree we were in surrounded by death eaters. Great. Just fucking great!

"This is all your fault Black!"

"Is not! Its your fault for whining all the damned time!"

"If you hadn't started to fight with me we wouldn't be in this situation."

"You're the one who started to fight with me."

"I am not! It was you!"

"You."

"No you!"

"Can we please stop the childish squabbling. You both might as well come down from there and get this over with." the voice called up at us. "Save a little time."

"Burn in hell death eater." I spat down at the person addressing us. "Why the fuck would we listen to you shit faces?"

"Apparating on three?" Sirius whispered at me. "Give me your hand I'll do it. Keep your wand aimed at them."

"At them?" I asked him exasperatedly lacing my fingers with his. "There is over a dozen of them. How can I point my wand at all of them?"

"Just come down Ackles, Black. Save your selves the pain of being knocked down from there."

"Fuck you!" I shouted down to them. "I'd rather die with the force of ten thousand burning suns that do what you want. So go get your self fucked!"

"I mean it Ackles. We were told not to harm you, but so help me if you don't get down here with Black this instant I'll use force."

"Why aren't we apparating?" I whispered at Black who had a horror struck look on his face.

"They're put up anti-apparating wards up." he gulped out. "We're stuck."

"What do you mean we're stuck? That's a twenty foot drop Black! We're gonna die."

"So lets go down calmly and then fight like there's no tomorrow." he told me with solemn eyes. "Its really the only option we have."

"Fine." I sighed feeling the pit of my stomach drop out. "Wingardium Leviosa?"

"Yeah. On the both of us. Scoot closer and put your arms around my neck. I'll float us down to them."

"Alright." I told him doing what he said. With a swish and flick of his wand we were gliding slowly down to the earth and quite certainly our deaths. "Hey Black?" I asked him quietly.

"Yeah?" he whispered back. "What is it?"

"If I'm gonna die tonight," I broke off looking up at him. His face was paler than normal, but considering our circumstance… "I'm glad it will be with you. You may make me angrier than anyone I've ever known, but you're a good person. And its an honor to fight and die with you."

He grinned at me as we reached the ground.

"Me too Gwendolyn. Me too."

The death eaters surrounding us all wore they're skeleton masks for accept the one addressing us who just turned out to be Lucius Malfoy. A known and confirmed death eater and trusted member of Voldemort's inner circle. I gulped and held my wand out high turning my back to Black who did the same to me so that we were fighting back to back.

"Well its nice that you two buffoons listened to common sense. Now lets just take a walk inside, come along." he pointed towards my fathers estate. "Just walk."

"I would rather die than do what you want Malfoy. I thought you'd have gotten that by now shit face." I spat at him. "Ready Sirius?" I asked behind me.

"As I'm ever going to be."

"Stupefy." I shouted sending a stunner out towards Malfoy, and a battle ensued.

I ducked a jet of dark purple light and sent a few more stunners at some of the death eaters swarming around us. I had seven on me and I had my shield up. I stunned two of them before a stinging hex hit me from behind. I whirled around to see Sirius ten feet away with four death eaters all battling with jets of green and purple lights. I spun back around and stunned another death eater quickly before ducking a jet of green light and avoiding a stunner. I felt another stinging hex hit my right calf hard but I held against the pain and kept fighting. It was ten minutes before I managed to get another stunner at another death eater who fell to the earth quickly. Using my shield I made my way over to where Sirius was fighting and once again stood at his back shooting stunners and stinging hexes at my quarry. Then with the flash of an instant the battle stopped at the same time that I felt a searing unbearable pain start in my abdomen. I felt myself fall back towards Sirius and sink to the ground. I reached for the spot that I felt pain from only to pull back a bloody hand. I felt the world go dark and reality slip away from me.

..scene…end…

Authors Note: So there be chapter two :P good stuff eh? Lots a fighty deathy stuff. Cheers and good night! For me at least, thf

Ps, review!


	3. Under Pressure

Story: Why don't you & I

Author: theherbflower

Authors Note: Ok, chapter three begins here! I hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it. Lol, without further ado….

Chapter Three: Under Pressure

Playlist: Sound Off ~ Trapt. Bulletproof Heart ~ My Chemical Romance. Issues ~ Escape the fate. Under Pressure~ MCR feat The Used.

Disclaimer: I hereby state that I own nothing of the Harry Potter world other than the love that is mine that I have for it ;P

The cell we were being held in was dark, really dark. By my counting, it should be sometime after dawn due to the faint golden light coming in from the hinges to the trap door above us. There was little light in the room, only enough for me to make out Gwen and nothing more. Whatever the situation was, it wasn't good. We were on the Ackles estate, that much I know, but I don't know where and the only person who does know where we might be is half dead on my lap so… we're screwed. Screwed, blued, and way too tattooed. Shit this was all fucked up, if only we didn't start fighting we could have known! But no we have to act like children and bicker constantly and get ourselves kidnapped by fucking death eaters! This is so messed up. I looked down at the girl laying in my embrace. She had a fever, a very high fever. I'm thinking the dagger I pulled out of Gwen's side when we were first thrown down here in the dungeon was poisoned. Stupid Voldemort! She was shivering violently in my arms and I could feel angry tears well up in my eyes at everything that had gone wrong. She was dying, and I knew it. Hell she knew it before we even started battling against the forces of evil. Beads of sweat were pouring from her face and she was whimpering. I couldn't let her die like this, here in the hole at her own fathers estate. The place where she spent her childhood. I had to do something! Anything! I just didn't know what.

"Sirius?" Gwen choked out up at me. Her eye lids flew back into her skull to reveal pain filled teal eyes that were watery due to the fever and shivers wracking though her body. "Where are we?"

"I don't know. In some dungeon like setting. There is a trap door above us, I can see light through the cracks in the wood."

"Is there a pair of red stairs leading up to the door?" she asked closing her eyes.

"I don't know. I cant see anything. But I know that there are stairs, we were dragged down them." I told her pulling her closer trying to transfer some of my heat to her. "You got hit with a dagger just below you hip. I pulled it out but the wound doesn't look good."

"In my pocket is a lighter." she whispered out. "Back pocket. Left side."

"Alright." I told her before lifting her up to access the pocket. "This is gonna hurt."

Quickly I pulled her up by the waist to reach for her back left pocket, my right. I found the lighter quickly and pulled it out before laying her back down on my lap and covering her up with my cloak. I flicked the lid off of it and struck the flint creating light. Just like she said, there was a pair of red brick stairs leading up to the trap door. I looked down at Gwen who's face was really pale and sick light in the small flame of the lighter. She flipped her eye lids back and looked up at me. She didn't look good. I'd give her maybe an hour longer before death claimed her, and by fucking Merlin, I was not going to let that happen.

"Is there a red stair case leading up to the door?" she repeated her pervious question. "If so than I know how to get out of here." Gwen wheezed out at me. "Set me down and stand up." she instructed me.

"Are you crazy? Your bleeding like a siv! I don't want to move you at all." I told her harshly. "I only managed to just get the bleeding down ten minutes before you woke up."

"Sirius if we do nothing that both of us are going to die. Do you want to get out of this damned dungeon or what? Cause I mean if you want to die by all means do nothing." she snapped at me. "Because I'm already close to death as it is."

"Your not going to die." I told her quickly but softly laying her down on the cold dungeon floor. "What do I do?" I asked her from above, the lighter still cradled lit in my hands.

"Walk over to the wall and count sixteen bricks up from the ground." she instructed me with a cough. "Then count seven bricks over and you should come to a loose brick. Pull it out." she told me with her voice shuddering. "You will find a candle, book of matches, and a key."

"How do you know that?" I asked walking over to the wall ten feet away and counting up from the floor sixteen bricks. "Have you been in here before?"

"Yes." she shuddered again. "When I would get into trouble as a child my father would lock me down here. He said it was more sufficient than a spanking and better than a corner."

"What a sicko." I stated reaching the sixteenth brick and counting seven bricks over. "Why did your mum put up with it?"

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed in a hallow voice. "Like my drugged up mother could do anything. He always had her on some sort of potion that would make her loopy and non existent. She was always up in her room sleeping the drugs off." her voice shuddered again. "Have you got it yet?"

"Yes." I told her pulling out the brick to reveal exactly what she said would be in there. "The candle is here, the book of matches." I reached my hand into the back of the little cubby space only to feel something cloth like and plush in the back. "And a.." I paused pulling out the object in my hand only to reveal a really old and battered stuffed rabbit. "Stuffed rabbit that looks nearly as old as Dumbledore."

"You found Mr. Whiskers?" Gwen asked with a slightly elated voice. "Is it rather small and a dingy brown color?"

I held the lighter closer to the stuffed animal only to be able to tell that it was exactly what she described.

"Yep. Has a carrot in its palm." I told her with a grin. "But I don't see a key."

"Reach you hand to the back and feel around." she instructed me softly. "I think it actually might be under where Mr. Whiskers was."

"Alright." I replied reaching my hand back to the exact spot where I found the rabbit. I felt something metal and cold beneath my palm, I picked it up and pulled it out. It was the key. "Got it!"

"Awesome." she sighed. "Now how to get out of this death eater infested manor is our next conquest." she laughed. "Too bad we can call any other order members. You'd think my uncle would send someone out after we don't show up for our debriefing."

"Never to fear dear sweet Gwendolyn. For I have a solution to that." I grinned practically skipping over to her after closing the lid on the lighter due to the fact that it grew real hot. "The marauders are never without a way of contacting each other. My only problem was the mirror slipped out of my pocket when we were dragged down here. And I had no real light to find it considering the only things I could make out were you. And you." I smiled sitting down next to her. "Here." I handed her the rabbit. "Now. Let me light this here candle." I told her while pulling out a match from the matchbox and striking it before quickly lighting the candle. "Now to find said mirror." I said standing up and walking over to the stair case where I heard it fall. I looked around the floor and seen what I was looking for quickly, although from the impact of it falling from my pocket to the stone ground there was a large crack right through the middle. "James Potter." I demanded of the mirror. In its own magic the glass swirled and revealed the dresser at the Potter home where I could faintly make out James and Lily sleeping in the back ground. "James!" I called out to the mirror close to keep my volume down in case anyone else heard.

"Is it not working?" Gwen asked from the other side of the dungeon.

I quickly walked back over to her and sat down next to her.

"Remus Lupin." I said to the mirror. And again the image swirled only to this time reveal the frantic looking face of Remus Lupin.

"Where the fuck are you two?" he snapped at me. "Moody was just here freaking out because you didn't show up for his debriefing."

"Well mate that's cause we're stuck down in one of the Ackles Estates dungeons. Can you call Moody back?" I asked quickly. "Its urgent. Gwen has been stabbed and I don't think she's gonna make it too much longer."

"Alright. Give me a second." he said before setting his mirror down and disappearing from view.

"What is that?" Gwen asked from besides me. "Can you help me sit up?"

"Sure." I told her before putting my arm around her shoulders and guiding her up. "Here hold on." I told her positioning myself behind her to keep her up. "Feel better?"

"No." she laughed at me. "I feel like crap."

"You know what I mean." I replied to her sternly feeling her relax back into me. "How's the fever going?"

"I'm fine Black." she said with another shudder. "And the fevers going just crappily. Its getting worse."

"Just hold on." I told her before quickly picking up the mirror and holding it out in front of us. "Come on Remus!"

"Hey Sirius?" Gwen asked turning her head to me. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure." I replied looking down at her. "What?"

"If per chance, cause we can discount it, if I die here tell Lilybean she wins." she laughed. "And tell my uncle that I love him."

"Nope." I replied glaring at her. "Cause your not going to die here. I'm gonna get us out of this mess."

"Sirius." she sighed letting her head fall back into my chest. "I am dying. I can feel it."

"No you not." I argued back. "Your not going to die here. I mean really."

I looked back up at the mirror only to see Remus and Moody come into view.

"What happened?" Moody barked at us. "Why did they find you? How did they find you? And what the bloody hell is wrong with you! It took you both this long to call for help?"

"We were over powered Mad-eye." Gwen sighed to the mirror. "What do we do?"

"You sit there for twenty minutes and we will be there busting the doors down to get you out. Is that understood?" he barked at us again. "Don't move until the twenty minutes are up!" he barked with a gruff and stepped out of the frame.

"We'll be there as soon as we can." Remus told us evenly before closing the mirror and rushing away.

I felt another vicious shudder wrack through Gwen's thin tiny body. She was getting clammier by the second and worse, I pray to god or Merlin or who the hell ever that she doesn't die, I cant imagine if. I took the pocket mirror and stuffed it in my cloak pocket that was wrapped around Gwen who now was curling up into me due to the fever. I felt icicles drip down into my stomach and my breathing hitch, she was dying, she'd be lucky to make it to when the calvary arrives. Unconsciously I wrapped my arms around her tightly and dropped my chin onto her forehead. I began to rock her soothingly just as she started to whimper again. This was so wrong. I thought with a growl. How can she die? This girl who drives me nuts more than half the time I'm with her each day was the strongest person I've ever known. She had the nastiest attitude towards me, fought with me on a regular basis, frustrated me more than more than anyone I've ever known, but I couldn't let her die. Another shudder wracked through her and she started to cough again. I reached down to the candle and blew it out, in case anyone were to see. I just kept rocking her slowly.

"Sirius?" she coughed my name out again. "How the hell did we get into this mess in the first place?"

"Fighting, like usual. We always get into some type of trouble while arguing. Remember that time in sixth year when I turned your hair pink and we were screaming at each other in the great hall?" I chuckled at her. "Then we had a full out duel and that poor second year Hufflepuff boy got hit with two hexes at the same time and he grew antlers and a tail."

"I remember." she said softly smiling at me. "McG gave us two weeks detention writing lines."

"And the lines were 'I will not duel in hallways' four hundred times." I laughed grinning at her. "Then that one time when you poured red paint in my hair over Christmas holiday and we got in a wrestling match in the common room."

"Good times right?" she laughed. "I loved the look of horror on your face when you came down the stairs to the boys dormitory shrieking like a terrified school girl. Still have the picture." she smirked. "Lily took it from behind the stairwell, framed it for me."

"That's pretty evil." I told her with a huff. "I cried over that, because you magically charmed the paint to stick for a week and I walked around looking like bozo the clown."

"Its not like you didn't retaliate." she laughed before another wave of shivers wracked though her I pulled her closer and sighed. "You took every under garment out of my trunk and strung it up allover the common room with Gwendolyn Rose's frilly laces in black letters all over them."

I smiled. Now that was a fun prank. Remus and I woke up at the crack of dawn to creep into her room to get all of her knickers and bra's.

"That I did." I grinned. "In fact while doing my victory dance after seeing your horrified face I kept one of those memento's just to remind my self later that I had beaten you."

"You did not beat me!" she snapped with a smile. "And if I remember correct I made you admit to the entirety of Hogwarts that you were gay." she grinned wickedly. "And in love with Moony."

"That went well for me." I smirked at her. "Girls found it hot and wanted to 'change' me."

"Pig." she sighed. "You are such a pig."

"Maybe." I chuckled. "Moony thinks so."

"I always knew there was a reason I loved that boy." she grinned at me. "Always knew just the right things to say to the right people."

"Shut up Ackles."

"Make me Black."

We started to laugh again before another set of shivers took her over.

"You ok?" I asked her worriedly. Her eyelids started to droop which couldn't be a good sign as she was most likely loosing consciousness.

"Uh huh." she mumbled opening her eyes up. "This sucks."

"How so?" I inquired with a smirk. "Couldn't be because of the situation could it?"

"That's only part of the reason why this sucks." she laughed softly. "I promised Lily I'd do her 25 list before I died. She's going to bring me back and kill me for it."

"What's her 25 list?"

"25 stupid things for me to do before I died of old age. That was number one, die of old age." she smiled. "Guess I failed at number one eh?"

"Not just yet."

"Number two was to have my first kiss. Although she made the list up when we were like third years." she closed her eyes as another shiver passed. "Three was to go on a date. Lily always hated the fact that she did the things before me, said she was the shyest person alive, and she still got kissed and had boyfriends." she grinned. "I always foiled her plans."

"Wait." I paused raising my eyebrow. "You've never ever kissed someone or gone on a date?"

"Yup." she nodded slightly before shuddering again. "Used to and still does drive Lily up a wall."

"But why?"

"Because I didn't want to make the same mistakes my mother did. I don't regret not doing those things either, I'm kind of glad I didn't."

"But guys were always asking you out to Hogsmeade."

"And they were always told no."

I smiled at her before rolling my eyes and pulling her closer. I have always liked talking to her, even when we fight. Mostly its cause she looks hot when angry, with her eyes blazing, she had the tendency to pull her hair in frustration when we argued, that was a plus too. How is it possible to care and loath someone at the same time? And just how is I that Gwen can bring out these feelings to where no one else can? Her eyes closed again and I studied her pale face. Her hair was damp from the sweat. I lowered my chin onto the top of her head and sighed. This couldn't be how she dies, I cant imagine it. I doesn't make sense to me at all. Mind-boggles me. With a sigh in inhaled deeply being comforted with an odd aroma of lavender and vanilla, I couldn't accept this. I looked down at my watch to see that five minutes have passed meaning fifteen more. Good sweet god let these fifteen minutes go fast so that I can get her to safety.

"Gwen?" I asked softly listening to her breathe below me. "Can you promise me something?"

She smiled.

"What?"

"After we get out of here and get you healed, you have to go to Hogsmeade with me."

"Are you crazy? Why would I want to go to Hogsmeade with you?" I heard another shiver. "Give me one good reason."

"Because I'm going to get you out of here and not let you die." I told her honestly a half baked plan of dashing around death eaters formed in my mind. "We have fifteen minutes left before Moody told us to move but I don't think you've got that."

"You want to try busting out of here now?" she asked in whisper. "Are you sure?"

"I am." I told her honestly. "But before we do that there's something else I want."

"Of course. It doesn't surprise me that you'd make demands in a situation like this." she sighed. "And what might that be?"

"This." I turned her head towards mine and brushed my lips over hers. I pulled away and laughed at her dazed expression, give it five seconds and it will go completely enraged. Her face turned red which was a nice contrast to see against her clammy texture.

"What the hell was that!" she barked reminded me instantly of her uncle. "Why in the bloody hell did you do that?"

"Because." I laughed at her. "Now if we both die in the midst of my plan of escape you can have one of those 25 things crossed off. And hopefully if we survive two."

"Cheeky bastard." she grumbled at me. "Alright if we're gonna do this, lets get a move on."

..sc..ene..ch..ange..

"Alright." Sirius said standing up before reaching down for the key residing next to the out of use candle. "I'm going to go and unlock the door. I'll be back in a second."

With that he walked across the dark room and up the brick staircase to unlock the trap door. I heard the click of the lock being opened at the same time I felt the tremors passing though my body come back. It was unbearably cold and I couldn't fight back the multitude of shivers that passed though me. I felt my teeth chatter and I slammed my eyelids closed trying to block out the pain on my right leg. Count to ten Gwen. I told myself silently. One… oh god. Another wave of tremors passed though me and I bit back a moan. I didn't want to die here. Here of all places. When I was younger my father locked me up in here for hours on end with no light and nothing but the pitch dark of the dungeon for comfort. To this day I have a slight nauseating feeling when I'm in pitch black places, the reminded me of those long ago days as a child where hours seemed endless locked up in this dungeon. I reached down and grabbed Mr. Whiskers the rabbit I got from my uncle when I was six and hugged onto it. I felt a numbness spread out through my body and grab hold of my mind. I felt reality slipping away from me, the pain sliding into nothing less, and blackness give way.

"Ready?" Sirius asked from above me.

I dragged my eyelids open to look up at him.

"Yep." I mumbled my eyelids closing again.

"Hey. Gwen open up your eyes. We're getting out of here."

"Alright." I mumbled again opening my eyes up to see him looking down at me worried. "I don't think I can walk."

"I know." he rolled his eyes hoisting me up to my feet. I winced at the pain in my leg as I stood. "Are you ok?" he asked worriedly at my droopy eyelids. "Come on. Put your arms around my neck."

I complied to the instructions he set me and wrapped my arms around his neck as tight as I could which doesn't seem tight to me, but considering everything is going numb on me it could be loose or tight. He grabbed the back of my knee caps and hoisted up into the air. On instinct I wrapped my legs around his middle and held on for dear life. I could feel the pressure of his arms around my middle holding me on. My head drooped down onto his shoulder and in the crook of his neck. I tried to hold onto reality, I had to. I breathed in and out in an almost relentlessly in pattern. Filling my chest with air and holding it in before blowing it out again. Black's scent was musky, almost canine smelling. I held on to the smell of him and it helped me hold on to reality.

We were moving stealthily through the house now, I could tell my the streams of golden sunlight streaming down onto my face and through my eyelids. I clung tighter onto Sirius and opened my eyes. Everything was moving in slow motion we were in the east hallway just above the dungeons. I looked up to watch behind us just in case any death eaters were to come up from behind. A dark shape moved into my sign of vision just as my eyes went blurry. I squinted really hard at the dark shape and my vision thinned back out into its normal state. But what I was seeing surely couldn't be reality. Maybe I was already passed out and in the realm of dreams. Maybe death had already claimed me because I was sure as all bloody fucking hell that Peter Pettigrew couldn't be in the Estate wearing death eater robes and looking horror struck. That wasn't possible.

…scene…change…

Authors NOTE: CHapTEr three done! Hoot hoot! Gwen discovers the rat faced bastard is evil? Or does she. Stay tuned to find out. This is thf clearing out. -peace

REVIEW! Reviewers get cookies…. =)


	4. Wonderwall

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter Four: Wonderwall

Playlist: Why don't you & I ~ Santana feat Chad Kroger of Nickleback. Sing~ MCR Sound Off~ Trapt Say you'll haunt me~ Stone Sour

Disclaimer! I don't own a thing here peeps. Not the song nor the story.

Authors Note: This chapter is lovingly dedicated to Lily-Evans-James-Potter and all of m other reviewers who review :) hint hint. Yes i'm a writer and as such have an ego. lol. without further ado, chapter four entitled!

Wonderwall...

My eyes flicked open at the sound of voices resonating around me. There was a searing pain on my side and my head was fogged up with haze, what happened? The room was dark around me, with only a lone candle spreading golden warm sunlight throughout the space I was residing in. I looked towards where the voices were coming from and seen James, Uncle Al, Sirius, and Dorcas Meadows all taking in hushed voices trying to not wake me. My eyelids rolled back and I seen darkness once more as I tried to collect my memories of the night before and the situation I was in. I took a couple of deep breaths to steady my panic that was slowly starting to consume me. Just breathe Gwen, just breathe. What happened? I repeated the thought in my mind, where am I? The only thing coming to mind was… Peter? But why would I be thinking about Peter? Kind of random. I shook my head weakly, feeling that my body had been stripped of all the strength it had. But what caused it? I remember being held captive at the Ackles Estate with Black who looked really pale and handsome in the candlelight.

Wait. I stopped my track of thinking, did I just think Black handsome? What the hell was wrong with me? I remember kissing him? What the hell! And then we were moving and I was in pain, a lot of pain and I was sweating from the stab wound. Wait? I had a stab wound? Of course I had a stab wound, that's why my side is on freaking fire. Then I remember opening my eyes and seeing Peter staring at me with horror struck eyes in death eater robes? Ok maybe I was just going nuts on that fact. I could have been hallucinating or dreaming or anything! There was no way in hell or heaven or what the fuck ever existed that I seen one of the Marauders dressed in the long black hooded robes of Voldemort's minions. There was in simple, no fucking possible way that that is what I seen. I was just hallucinating over the fever or something. I mean come on, that couldn't be the case could it? I flipped my eyes back open with vigor this time, I wanted answers.

"Black." I barked out with a very weak sounding voice that had to be two octaves lower than usual. "Black." I repeated trying and failing to sit up.

"Gwen don't move." Black told me sharply crossing over to me. "You might reopen the wound."

"What the bloody fucking hell happened?" I demanded of him letting my head fall back into the mountain of pillows behind me. "And I need to sit up. Its important."

"I don't think that's such a good idea Gwen." Dorcas told me coming to stand on the right side of me opposite Sirius. "I don't know what the dagger was laced with, there is poison running your system and if the wound gets reopened or infected in anyway you could die. I think it's a good idea to take you to St. Mungo's but Sirius and Mad-eye think its best for me to treat you here at headquarters. But I am not exactly sure how to. I'm going to check some old books I've got lying around my study at home."

"Alright." I sighed. "Now what happened?" I asked Black with a leveled glance.

"Well just as we were running towards the door to get the hell out of that shit hole Moody and the rest of the members of the order he'd rounded up showed up. We got out of there quickly and came strait to headquarters where Dorcas did a diagnostic on you to decipher what was the ailment. Unfortunately she didn't know so she stitched you up and put you to rest with a few fever reducing potions."

"Did you see anything when we were leaving?" I asked softly. "Because I swear I seen the weirdest thing, though I could have been hallucinating."

"What?" Uncle Al barked at me. "What did you see?"

"I would really like to talk to Dumbledore about that." I told him with the message of 'I don't want to say anything in public' running though my eyes. "I might have just been imagining things."

"Alright." Uncle Al barked again at me. "I've got to get home to take care of the sick dog you brought home."

I smiled with a blush at this.

"Aww come on Uncle Al, he was dying." I gave him pouty lips. "I couldn't just leave him."

"Yeah well you'll owe me for this once your healed up." he rolled his eyes before stepping over next to my head. He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead before turning and leaving the room.

"Did I or did I not just see Mad-eye kiss someone?" James asked from the foot of the bed where he was standing. "Am I going crazy?"

I laughed at him.

"No." Sirius supplied his best friend with a grin. "And if you were to ever mention it Moody'd have you head."

"Of course." James smirked plopping down next to my feet. "Lily's worried about you. I'm going to go and tell her you've woken up and that your ok for the moment." he smiled patting my leg comfortingly. "I'm glad your ok and I'll be back to check on everything in the morning." he said standing up and leaving the room.

"I'm going to go and check those books." Dorcas told me with a smile. "Sirius remember to apply the lotion every three hours." she told Black with another smile. "And please for the love of Merlin don't try to move and reopen the wound."

"Alright Dorcas." Sirius replied to her with a grin. "I'll make sure she doesn't do anything."

"Good." The tall older woman told us with a beam. "I'll see you in the morning." and with that she like Uncle Al, and James, left the room.

"You know." Black turned to me with that grin still etched into his pale handsome face. Wait? Again with this Black is handsome crap? Shit I'm done for. "I'm almost positive that Moody and Dorcas have a thing. I heard them whispering earlier when I came to check on you, they were talking about some planned date for Friday night at some muggle pub."

"Are you being serious?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course I'm serious silly." He smirked at his really old and over used pun. "And Dorcas blushed when Moody brushed hair out of her face."

"No way!" I chirped again trying to sit up only to be shoved back down by Black who rolled his eyes at me. "Really?"

"Yes really. And please stop trying to get up, I'm not fond of the thought of death. Its rather a moot point where I'm concerned, and if your gone then who do I have to argue with?"

"I'm sure you can find someone else who hates you equally enough to argue with you on a rather constant and consistent basis." I smirked. "Do uncle Al, he's so lonely. I'm glad he's busting out of that shell he's got built up around him."

"Very true. As long as I've known Moody he doesn't date, snog or." he stopped at my incredulous stare. "Talk to girls in a flirty manner?"

"I cant believe you were just about to talk and even think about my Uncles sex life Black." I shook my head. "Men. Always the same thing every time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded sitting down on the bed next to me.

"That the only thing revolving around the male brain is bloody sex. I mean it cant be all its cracked up to be! Sharing bodily fluids to reproduce I can see, but to be obsessed with it constantly and without abandon is just sick."

"And you don't know so you cant add your two sense in." he told me with a smirk. "Come back and talk to Uncle Paddy when you've crossed that threshold Gwendolyn darling."

"Shut up." I shoved him with my left arm, not that there was a whole lot of force in doing so as I was still weaker than hell. "You're a git. Tell anyone you know that information and I'll have my Uncle mount you balls on his fucking mantle." I snarled at him.

"Will do my dear, darling, dainty, delicate, sweet sweet Gwendolyn."

"I really hate you you damn ponce!" I glowered at him. "Always being an idiot."

"And always without fail and without a doubt, calling you by your full name." he smirked. "Now." he scooted back on the bed opposite me to sit with his back resting on the large headboard behind me. "Tell Uncle Paddy what you think you seen at the estate."

"I'd rather not." I told him before closing my eyes and leaning back into the head board of the bed. "I want to talk to Dumbledore first."

"Oh come on! It cant be that bad." he told me. "What or who did you see?"

I couldn't tell him, because I know how he'd react. He'd laugh and tell me I was crazy that there was no way that one of his best friends would be death eater. And I believed him. But the growing pit in my stomach telling me not to dismiss the idea was large than my wanting to dismiss it as a hallucination brought out due to the fact I was poisoned, near passing out, and in pain. It just seemed wrong, it couldn't be right. It wasn't. I was so sure of it. Right? So then why do I even consider the possibility? Its true Peter has been odd lately, barely showing up for Order meetings or when we all hit a pub and hang out on Friday nights. He's always claiming he's got family dinners or his Mum is sick. And come to think of it, he always wears long sleeved robes and shirts. It was in the middle of summer! Maybe I did see him, maybe he was the spy everyone has been trying to weed out. But why him? Why would he turn his back on the Marauders? They were like brothers practically, never hiding a secret from each other. I banged my head on the head board and sighed.

"I just need to tell Dumbledore first." I told him opening my eyes and looking over at him. "I think that I've got an idea of who the spy might be." I whispered to him in case anyone, meaning Peter Pettigrew transformed into his rodent form funny enough, he's a rat. Doesn't that strike anyone as odd… "But I'm not sure. And I don't want to make accusations without being completely sure.

"Wait." he narrowed my eyes. "Is it someone that I know?"

"Well obviously you dope! It has to be someone in the Order doesn't it?" I shook my head at him. "It would make no sense otherwise."

"Is It someone close to us? Is that why you wont say the name?"

"Maybe." I told him firmly. "I cant tell you Black, so please stop asking."

"Oh come on! I'm your partner!"

"I know. And I trust you. But I don't trust how you'd react."

"And you can predict how I react?"

"You are forgetting that we spend most of every damned day together, if you don't think I don't know you by now your crazy. We've been Auror's together for over four years."

"Are you sure you seen what you think you seen?"

"No." I paused. "But part of me wants to dismiss it. I don't want it to be what I seen, I want it to be a hallucination. I don't want to believe that someone I care about could be capable of working for that monster to bring out our down fall."

"Someone you care about?" he narrowed his eyes. "If I promise to you that I wont do anything or say anything until you talk to Dumbledore will you tell me?"

I sighed. He would not take this easily.

"You cant talk to this person Sirius. If I'm right both our lives could be at stake."

"More than they already are?" he chuckled. "Gwen we fight dark wizards every day, our lives are already on the line."

"Just promise me that you wont approach them until after I talk to Dumbledore?" I pleaded with watery eyes. "I care about this person, they're one of my friends. I don't want to believe they're the one betraying us all."

"Alright. I promise." he told me slinging an arm around my shoulders. "I wont freak out."

"Yes you will." I told him leaning my head into his shoulder. "So please just brace yourself."

"Its not one of the Marauders is it?" he asked with a funny look in his eyes. "Is that why you think that I'm going to fly off the handle?"

"Sirius lets be honest with yourself, you do tend to fly off of the handle a lot."

"Just tell me who you seen Gwen. I'll stay calm. I kind of think I know the name that will come out of your mouth already. I've been having suspicions about people."

"I seen Peter Pettigrew come out of a room down the hallway when we were leaving with the death eater robes, a skull mask in his hand, and a horror struck look in his eyes."

He didn't say anything. He didn't laugh. He didn't go berserk like I figured he would. He just sat there with a blank look on his face.

"Are you sure?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. He looked down at me and into my eyes deeply. "Are you positive?"

"Yes." I whispered back. "But I don't want to be."

"Alright then, we will talk to Dumbledore in the morning."

"I'm sorry." I sighed looking over at the mantle where a warm fire was crackling in the hearth below it. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I've been seeing him contact know death eaters. He told me it was for Dumbledore but I always had this feeling in the pit of my gut that he was lying. You just confirmed what I already knew. But I'll tell you this," he paused still staring me strait in the eye. It was weird, like he was reading me like a book. "If your right, and if I'm right. I'm going to be the one who drags that bastard kicking and screaming to Azkaban."

"One less threat." I whispered feeling my eyes water. "I hope we're wrong Sirius."

"Me too Gwen. But somehow I don't think we are." he told me before wiping a tear from my cheek. "Now go to sleep, we'll go to Dumbledore in the morning."

..sc..en..e..ch...

Sunlight was dripping over me comfortingly and warm. I smiled and snuggled into the body next to me, everything felt wonderful. With glee I opened my eyes up to take in the sight of the person next to me only to find the grin wiped off of my face. Next to me, sleeping soundly, was Gwendolyn Ackles. I shook my head and sighed. This couldn't be happening to me, I thought I'd crushed my feelings for her years ago. I had my arms wrapped around her shoulders and she had her head resting on my chest. We must of fell asleep like this after our discussion last night. But the weirdest thing was, it felt right. It felt natural. Normal even. I can just imagine waking up like this for the rest of my life with her right next to me, her long flowing blond hair draped around her like an angel. She was almost to beautiful to behold, I reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. So beautiful, so peaceful and serene. I didn't want to wake her, it was almost a shame, like stumbling across a unicorn in its sleep only to wake it. The unicorn would run away and you'd never be able to behold its magnificence again. But we had things to do, and fish, more like a rat, to fry.

"Gwen." I whispered in her ear. "Gwendolyn…" I prodded in a sing song voice. "Wake up."

"No." I heard her mumble with a growl. "I am way to god damned comfy to get up."

"But we have to!"

"Well I don't want to!" she told me in a child like voice. "You know what Black?" she asked snuggling her head into my chest. "You make for a truly great pillow."

I laughed at her, of al the things I thought would come out of her mouth at this situation, that was not one of them.

"I am told that." I smirked. "But really, we need to get up. We have a meeting with Moody in an hour and we still have to go to Dumbledore."

"Oh yeah." she sighed. "For a minute there I'd forgotten." a dark look passed over her face as at the same time her eyes began to get watery once more. She really was upset about this, about the possibility of Wormtail being a death eater. I wish it weren't true, but I've got the feeling that no matter what either of us wish, it is true and it always will be.

"I know." I told her with a sigh. "But we have a duty to find out if it is. And I'm hungry."

"You are always hungry."

"True. Does your side still hurt?"

"Of course. I don't know how I'm exactly supposed to walk 'round like this." she mumbled fiddling with a stray thread hanging off of the blanket covering us. "Its going to be a challenge."

"True. But for the love of the world we must!" I chirped dramatically. "We must forge our way though the thick arms of darkness, pain, and suffering to bring light unto the world."

"Dramatic baboon."

"Cranky old elf!"

"Are you calling me short?"

"And if I am?"

We both stared at each other before bursting into laughter. I smiled watching the ceiling above us. It was at this moment that the bedroom door banged open and in walked a rather irritated and harassed Moody who rolled his eyes at us and tossed a bag onto the bed at our feet.

"Get up and get dressed." Moody barked at us. "Is the wound healed?"

"No." Gwen sighed. "It feels like hell."

"Think you can manage with it?"

"Yeah." she sighed sitting up slowly with a pained look on her face. "With some help I can manage."

"Good. Rolf Ackles was asking around the offices for you yesterday. I informed him that you were having a day off and that you'd be back at work today."

"What did the bastard want?" Gwen growled at her Uncle. "To torment me more I expect."

"Didn't say. Only told me that you were expected in his office at eleven thirty five." Moody told her with a sympathetic look in his eyes. "I'm really sorry. I want you to stay here and rest up, but that wouldn't be a good idea especially since we now have him down as a confirmed death eater. He is still a higher ranking official and I have to obey his orders."

"Alright." Gwen sighed swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. "We'll be ready in ten."

"Remember, constant vigilance!" and with that he left the room with his usual limp.

"Well today just got a whole fucking crap load better." she growled standing up and whimpering. "Fucking shit!"

"Take it easy." I told her jumping up out of bed and standing next to her in the event should she fall. "Do you need help dressing?"

"I am pretty sure I'll be able to dress my damn self. Thank you though for your consideration." again she growled holding her side. "You should go and get cleaned up yourself."

"Alright." I nodded at her before picking up the bag Moody had left at our feet to discover that it was a bag of clean clothes for her. I pulled out the top garment and smirked dangling the rather sexy pink laced knickers with bunnies on them around. "Ooh look at this new treasure!"

She just glared at me and ripped the pair of knickers from my grasps and shoving them behind her.

"I would thank you not to touch my things." she told me with a glower.

"Alright." I smirked at her before picking up the next piece of clothing in the bag and admiring it. It was a bra with unicorns and stars on it. I started to laugh gaily at the bra in my hands, she sure did have some weird fashion sense. Bunny knickers and Unicorn bras…

"Stop looking at my clothing!" she burst at me ripping the piece out of my hand for a second time. "Go away."

"Sure sure." I grinned standing up. "If you need help give a holler!"

And with that I left the room for her to dress.

..scene…change..

Authors Note: Bwahaha! Filler chapter with lots of fun stuff eh? What should happen? Should Peter have heard that oh so rather important conversation? Should he not have? What would happen if that little stab wound got infected again? What if dear Gweny died? What if our loving charming Sirius did? Hmmn. Stay tuned for yet another episode of Why Don't You & I in one weeks time…

-thf


	5. The Heart of Betrayal

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Authors Notes: Alrightie! Here be chapter six, hope y'all enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Playlist: Hesitate ~ Stonesour. Under Pressure ~ MCR feat The Used. Say you'll haunt me ~ Stonesour

Chapter Five: The heart of betrayal

"Padfoot get off of me!" Remus 'Moony' Lupin shrieked in laughter at the large black canine that was on top of him covering his face with slobber. Moony smiled shoving the large bear of a black dog off of him and sitting up. Within seconds the large burly dog transformed into its normal rather handsome state of Sirius Orion 'Padfoot' Black. Padfoot extended a hand towards Moony to help him up with a grin splashed onto his face.

"Morning Moony. Pleasant day isn't it?" Sirius asked his lupine friend. "Clouds are gone away, no rain, and sunshine. My favorite."

"What are you doing here Padfoot?" Moony asked his friend as he was pulled to his feet by the slightly taller man. "Stay over with Gwen?"

"But of course." Sirius Black smirked puffing out his chest. "As if I could leave her."

"'Cause you love her." Remus grinned at him. "'Cause you need her."

"Believe what you will Messer. Moony, but I must disagree with you." Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend and walked into the kitchen to find some food as his stomach was growling and he'd not eaten the night before for worry over his near death friend, and of course, the woman he loved but he wasn't about to admit that to anyone, least of all himself. Which is rather stupid if you think about it because just two days previously when Gwendolyn Rose Ackles laid in his arms dying he kissed her. Why? It's certainly not because he thinks that she is beautiful or that her lips remind him of heaven. Its simple really, the fact was, so he tells himself, that she was about to die and never once before kissed, snogged, nigh shagged a bloke. Now he thought this was quite the shame really, considering that she was absolutely beautiful, and of course he was in love with her. Sirius Black just hummed along as he entered the kitchen only to find Peter Pettigrew eating his daily porridge with raisins on top.

"Morning Padfoot." Peter smiled over at his friend, although he wasn't really considering Sirius Black his friend and more his enemy. It had be quite some time since Sirius had started to suspect him of his death eater activity, and after the conversation that he'd over heard the night before after stealthily sneaking into the room in animagus form. "Lovely day is it not?"

"Quite Wormtail." Sirius told his friend with a very fake smile. "Quite."

"Molly left some more porridge over there." Peter pointed over to the pot on the stove that was still steaming. "And she made some buns."

"What type?" Sirius asked Peter with big eyes. It was a known fact that Sirius Black loved his buns. In every way. Or so that's what the ladies he dated told people when they gossiped with their friends over high tea.

"Blackberry." Peter replied to his obviously not friend. "How's Gwen?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at the short man requiring information about his secret love.

"Getting dressed."

"So then she's feeling better?"

"Oh yes." Sirius replied looking over at Remus who was watch the two of his friends with an odd look.

See now both Sirius and Peter may be fine actors to the naked eye, but Remus knew them and he also knew that they were hiding something. Glances filled with hostility were shared between the two. And Remus just knew somehow, that there was something he was missing.

"I'm going to go and visit the loo." Remus told his friends quietly and with a long voice. "Try not to kill each other yeah?" and with that the young and quite handsome werewolf left the room.

With a sad smile on his face over the fact that two of his brothers were feeling animosity towards the other, Remus slowly walked up the stairwell in Headquarters towards the upstairs loo. For a few moments Remus pondered upon the thought of just why exactly his friends were fighting when he heard a loud thump from the room besides him which he concluded upon sight was the room where Gwen was staying. Afterwards there was another loud thump and in growing worry Remus quickly threw open the door only to come upon the sight of Gwendolyn Rose nigh Ackles as she would prefer, sitting on the floor with a pained look on her face. Quickly Remus shut the door and rushed in over to her where upon standing in front of her, Remus deduced that she was attempting to dress, and failing quite miserably due to the stab wound on her side that was covered in a large white bandage. Upon further inspection he also noted with a grin, that she was in her undergarments.

"Dear Gwen, are you needing help?" Remus asked her holding his hand out to her. "Come on."

"Thanks." She sighed grabbing hold onto his hand and letting him pull her to her feet.

"Bunnies Gwen?" Remus smirked at his friend of over thirteen years. "And Unicorns?"

Gwendolyn, not that she liked her name any. Growled at her werewolf friend and pointed down at the ground to a pair of jeans she'd been trying to get on.

"Yes bunnies and unicorns. Now will you help me get dressed please? Sirius asked If I needed help but I told him no."

"And why did you do that?" Remus asked kneeling down in front of her and picking up her jeans.

He quickly held them open as she stepped into them with the pained expression still on her face. With a flash Remus had them up, zipped and buttoned before she could think. Gwen like Remus, a whole lot. But in a very brotherly way. Remus always had the tendency to be there when she was at her worst, and best. She smiled at him and pulled him into a hug which the young werewolf happily accepted. They stood there for what seemed to be a few minutes before the rather sad and painful Gwen realized she was not in fact wearing a tee shirt, and just her unicorn bra. She pulled back and smiled at her friend before pulling a rather small pink shirt from the sack her uncle had brought over and slipped it on. She repeated the pulling of items out of the sack and held out a pair of blue converse all stars to Remus with a grin. Then she pulled out a pair of pink socks and smirked with a blush.

"Sheep Gwen? Do you have an obsession with animals or something?" Remus chuckled at her as she sat down on the bed and held her feet up to him.

"My uncle packed the bag for me. All these clothes haven't been worn since Hogwarts."

"That would explain it." Remus told her with a smirk as he slipped the socks on her feet and then repeated the motions with the shoes. "Alright. All ready." He told her before tossing her her ministry green robe.

"Thank you Remus." She smiled at him. "I think I'm good now."

"Alright." Remus replied before kissing her temple. "If you need me just call."

"I will." She smiled.

...

I growled in frustration before sitting down on the bed and holding my side. This sucked fucking ass. I hated this. Pain and I never did agree, and heaven help me, I was reeling in it. I sighed before lying back on the bed, not really wanting to get up and go anywhere. And the worst part, was not the pain I was reeling in, it was the fact that all I could think about was Sirius. The kiss, the waking up next to him, the deep meaning filled glances. Fucker. I did not want to feel anything for anyone! Least of all Sirius Black. What could I do? I am sure that ignoring the fact that I did have feelings for the damned idiot was now out of the question. Stupid crap! In a fit of frustration I screamed out. Why? Why was this happening to me? But heaven and Merlin help me, I couldn't stop thinking about those lips, so warm and strong on mine. I may have been on the brink of death when he kissed me, but I still felt worlds collide. And I did promise that stupid damned Hogsmeade trip if I survived and I did. Idiot just had to go and save my life, like it meant anything to anyone. Ok well maybe it did mean something to people who loved me like Uncle Al, Lilybean, James, Remus, loads of other people and of course, Sirius. And when did I start calling him by his first name? Well I guess to be honest I've been calling him Sirius off and on for years now. Only I don't like admitting my defeat.

"Feeling better?" asked a dark voice from the door way. I looked up quickly to see Peter flounce his fat arse, although I loved the kid cause he was my friend! Into the room. "Now." He closed and locked the door. "We have some business to take care of."

"Get out." I snapped at him sitting up and wincing. "Right now or I swear to god I'll scream bloody fucking murder."

"I've silenced the room. There is nothing that you can do." he told me stepping forward with a wickedly evil gleam in his eyes. "Unfortunately, I've got to kill you. And Padfoot too."

"Fuck off Peter." I growled before reaching for my wand which wasn't there because they were stolen by those bastards the night we were captured. Just great. I'm defenseless. "Sirius!" I yelled. "Remus!"

"They can't hear you Gwen." he stalked forward, his beady eyes smirking at me. "Now shall we do this the easy way or the hard way?"

To be honest I was too weak to fight him. Far too weak. I grabbed my side and glared at him.

"The hard way because there was never a chance of me going easily." I spat at him. "Take your best shot rat! I should have known it was you all along."

"It is not my fault you muggle loving fools are so blindsided by friendship, love, and loyalty."

"What happened to you?" I demanded. "You used to be so sweet. How could you betray us all? Sirius, Remus, and James love you! You're like their brother! How can you turn your back to them? How can you condone joining those bastards that hunt people for sport? That want total destruction and domination? How?" I glared at him feeling tears break my eyes. "If I die here by your hand, just do one thing, tell that piece of shit father that he can go straight to fucking hell."

"I can do that." Pettigrew smirked at me. "Any other last words?"

"Yeah, go fuck yourself." I told him with a glower. "You won't win this battle, Voldemort will lose because the only thing worth fighting for, the only thing that needs to be fought for is love. And love will triumph over evil every time because love is pure and beautiful."

"Is that all?" I raised his wand to me and leveled it with my chest.

I took a deep breath knowing that there was no way I was going to be able to fight this, there was no Sirius Black to save my ass this time. I sighed and nodded.

...

"Ok what gives?" Moony asked me with an irritated look and a raise of his left eyebrow. I must say, Moony does look mad, his auburn eyes narrowing dangerously as if if I didn't tell him, he'd eat me for meal the next full moon. "Why are you and Peter fighting?"

"No reason." I shrugged keeping my promise to Gwen. "He was just being an insensitive git yesterday and I'm pissed over it."

"And I'm supposed to believe that crap?" Moony demanded taking a sip of his Irish coffee. "Really Padfoot, what's going on? I've known you since the tender age of 11 years old and I know your lying to me."

"Moony please, I just can't talk about it right now ok? I've got bigger things on my mind than Peter being a bastard."

"Alright, tell me what's wrong. You never call anyone a bastard unless you have a very deep dislike towards them."

"Not true." I argued. "That isn't true. I call Prongs a bastard on a usual basis, and I don't dislike him."

"Liar." Moony stated taking another drink of his coffee with a growl. "Spill."

"I just…" I broke off. "I promise someone I wouldn't say anything just yet." I told him with a sigh. "And I won't break my promise Moony. The second that I can tell you I promise to you that I will."

"Alright." Moony sighed at him before finishing off his coffee. "So you stayed the night here with Gwen? Where'd you sleep?"

I felt my cheeks darken, stupid Moony and his way to obvious knowledge of everything.

"Fell asleep in a chair upstairs. Dorcas told me to watch over her, and that's precisely what I did." I informed him before rolling my eyes and ripping another bite out of my blackberry bun. "I don't know why you people are always thinking that there is more to it than that."

"Maybe its because there is." Remus grinned at me with a wolfish look attributed to the fact that the moon was three days off. "There is no shame in admitting it Padfoot, there is nothing wrong with loving someone."

"I know that Moony. I know." I sighed ripping another bite out of my bun, Molly does know how to make some amazing pastries. Must be a Weasley talent. "I just can't help it, and Merlin knows that I've tried to."

"Well this is just a theory but listen. When James started to fall for Lily he went all 'oh look at the way her hair falls about her making her look like an angel. I love her, Merlin help me I love her. So beautiful. I'm gonna marry her one of these days.' and of course he did." he paused walking over to refill his coffee. "And Lily, well Lily just hated him. Swore that she'd never fall in love 'with a pigheaded git like that' and look where we are now. They're both married quite happily, in love with each other something fierce. What did denying that love do Lily but cause her to lose time she couldn't get back. And trust me she admitted it to me. Said 'I don't know why I was so stubborn Remus, I love him. He makes my day fill with sunshine and my night fill with moonlight. He's the only one who can save me, and I don't understand why it took me so long to figure it out.' don't be another Lily Pads, it won't do any good when it comes down to it."

"You right." I sighed softly before walking over to the kettle on the stove and moving to make myself a cup of earl grey. "This morning when I woke up, Merlin Moony, she looked like an angel. I could get used to waking up to that every morning Moony."

"You must have been pretty worried when she got wounded." Moony supplied taking a sip from his mug. "You looked pretty worried there in the Mirror. Its obvious the two of you have feelings towards the other, the only sane thing to do is act on them."

"I know." I grabbed a mug from the cupboard. "I kind of did."

"What?" Remus looked up at me with glee. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, thought she was gonna die. Did you know before I kissed her she'd never been kissed before? Or snogged, dated, or obviously shagged."

"Well yeah." Remus grinned. "But that is just classic Gwen. Considering what she seen her father do to her mother you have to kind of understand that. She's not your average witch Padfoot, if you go into that trying to get her flat on her back the only thing you'll end up with is a black eye and a headache."

"As if that's all I wanted." I rolled my eyes at him. "I care about her, and I wouldn't want her hurt."

"I'm sure Pads, I'm just saying that be careful where you tread with her." Remus picked up the daily prophet and flicked it open. "I care about her and don't want to see her heartbroken mate, and I expect Mad-eye'd kill you."

"True." I smirked. "Moody would kill me."

"I wonder where Peter is." Remus sighed setting the newspaper back down. "Said he was going to the loo, that was like fifteen minutes ago. Maybe he's having himself a right nice wank."

I looked up quickly, Gwen was on her own up there. And fifteen minutes was too long for a jaunt to the loo, something was wrong. I quickly slammed the mug that I was holding in my hands down onto the emerald green counter top. With a speed I'd never known I raced out of the kitchen and through the large dining hall to the stairwell. I took the steps three at a time, practically sprinting up them to get to her. What if I was too late? Neither Gwen nor I had any wands, they had been taken at the Ackles Estate after we were captured. I could hear Remus behind me shouting for me to slow down and what the bloody hell was wrong but I didn't answer. How could I have been stupid enough to leave her alone and defenseless with a death eater in the house? Was I fucking insane? This couldn't happen, I wasn't going to allow it! But then, did I have a choice? What if he'd already gotten to her? What if she was already gone? I came to a halt next to the door that would lead into where Gwen was residing and fell silent. Moony came to a halt next to me, I quickly pulled off any silencing charms and started to talk but I slapped my hand over his face.

"It is not my fault you muggle loving fools are so blindsided by friendship, love, and loyalty." Peter's squeaky voice resounded out of the room. I looked next to me to see Remus's face drop.

"What happened to you?" Gwen demanded of him with an angry edge to her whimsical voice. "You used to be so sweet. How could you betray us all? Sirius, Remus, and James love you! You're like their brother! How can you turn your back to them? How can you condone joining those bastards that hunt people for sport? That want total destruction and domination? How?" Gwen spat at him, I could hear tears dripping from her voice. "If I die here by your hand, just do one thing, tell my piece of shit father that he can go straight to fucking hell."

"I can do that." Peter told her with a smirk evident in his beady little voice. I growled and looked over at Remus and motioned for him to get out his wand. "Any last words?"

"Yeah, go fuck yourself." Gwen replied to him with acid dripping from her voice. "You won't win this battle, Voldemort will lose because the only thing worth fighting for, the only thing that needs to be fought for is love. And love will triumph over evil every time because love is pure and beautiful."

"Is that all?" Peter drawled just as I silently opened the door. "Nothing else you'd like to add to you pathetic existence? Not any last parting words?"

"Are you dragging this out rat?" Gwen spat at him seeing us behind him. A light jumped back to her eyes and telepathically she told that she was thankful that we had come with just the right amount of time. "But I would like to tell you something." she fluttered her eyes at him. "You lose."

"Oh do I?" Peter smirked at her. "Ava.."

I slammed into him and pinned him to the floor. Moony took his wand and aimed it at him with a cold look in his eyes.

"She's right Wormtail." Moony spat at our brother. "You lose." he aimed his wand at Wormtail and glowered. "Stupefy."

Peter Pettigrew went slack in my grasp and I quickly stood up. I crossed the room to Gwen who was now sitting on the bed holding her side with tears in her eyes. I sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug, thankful to god, or Merlin, or who the hell ever was up there calling the shots that I'd gotten to her in time. Just in time. She started to cry into my chest as I held her, just as I started to cry into her hair. Remus who was standing over Peter with a cold look of hatred in his eyes looked up at us and crossed the room to take a seat on the other side of Gwen. Then with a wave, Remus too started to cry. He was our friend, and he'd betrayed us. He was our brother and we loved him, but he didn't in return. It was a grave loss for the Marauders, and Sirius could scarcely imagine how James would take it. But it was a good thing however, that they caught the rat in the nick of time, before anyone got hurt.

"How could he do this?" Remus asked with a bitter tone on his voice. "How could Peter, little Peter Pettigrew have betrayed us and join Voldemort? How is that even possible?" he demanded outraged.

"Moony, just calm down." I whispered to him while running my hand through Gwen's long golden hair. "I know its hard to accept, hell I don't want to, but unfortunately, it's the truth like it or not."

"I just don't understand." he said with a hallow edge latching itself to his outraged vocal cords. "I just don't get it."

"Its obvious that he never really cared." Gwen spoke with tears evident in her voice. "He just used all of us. Like he never cared."

"Don't cry Gwen." I sighed cupping her cheek softly. "I know you didn't want this to be, but it is what it is." I told her softly playing with a stray golden curl from her mane of hair. "Are you ok?"

"No. I'm not." she spoke with punctuation. "I am not ok with the fact that he fooled us all. Think about all the information he's been leaking to Voldemort? I'm just thankful that Lily and James are under the fidelius spell, can't imagine how quick that sick bastard would have killed them if he were to have known."

"We should probably get him to Azkaban, tell Moody and Dumbledore." I sighed watching Remus stand up and walk over to our fallen and stunned friend on the carpet. "We'll have to tell them that he's an animagus."

"You can't!" Gwen said looking up at me quickly. "You know that will lead to more questions, more questions will lead to you and James and then you'll be sent to Azkaban. That's suicide."

"We can lie Gwen." I pointed out standing up as well. "And we need to hurry, we've got to be in the office in." I looked down at my watch to check the time. "Twenty five minutes. Moony will you go and call Dumbledore?"

"Of course." Remus said walking out of the room. "Here take his wand." he tossed the short wooden stick to me. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

..scene..change..

Authors Note: aha! Chapter five done! Kaput. Finite. I'm tired and going to take a week's break. So look out for chapter six in a week in a half to two weeks.

Cheers, thf


	6. Through Glass

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherblower

Authors Note: Hello my lovelies! Its is one fine January day, chalk full of cold rain, loads of bowls of cabbage and broccoli soup, music in hoards, and new ipods. Cheerio! Hope you do enjoy~ =)

Chapter Six: Through Glass

Disclaimer: I hereby state that I own nothing! Nothing I tell you!

Playlist: Hesitate, Through Glass, Say you'll haunt me ~ Stonesour. Sound off ~ Trapt. Sing ~ MCR. Why Don't You & I ~ Chad Kroger feat Santana. Should have been a cowboy ~ Toby Keith.

The ministry was packed full of workers in emerald green dress robes when Sirius and I arrived though the floo. It was a pain in the ass to walk, all I wanted to do was take a right nice sleeping draught and sleep forever, seriously. Each step I took was agonizing pain, and I wasn't to fond of pain, especially repeating it. But I had to go into the office today, whether I liked it or not. I also had to pretend that everything was all fine and that I was not in pain at all, as ordered to by my uncle and boss. Sirius was holding my right hand in encouragement to keep walking as if there wasn't a thing wrong in the world. And I did. Even though It was killing me. I smiled at people who walked pass us, most of them grinning at the fact that we were holding hands. Although it wasn't what they were thinking, if I was walking all on my own shit, I don't know. I don't think I'd even be walking but doubled over in pain. I sighed visibly as we reached the lift and got inside. To our right was Arthur Weasley who just smiled at us with a little smirk in his eyes. I tried to ignore the staring of the other occupants around us including, Evan Rosier; death eater, Michelle Perkins; a witch in magical communications, Arthur; who was of course head of the misuses of muggle artifacts office, and three other people I did not know.

"Ah love. Grand isn't it?" Michelle smiled at me softly, I knew her to be a year above me while at Hogwarts, and in the house of Hufflepuff. I just smiled back at her, although on the inside I was seething. I did not love Sirius Black! Ok yes I did but he didn't have to know that. "I remember when my husband and I started to date, holding hands all the time. The long looks filled with meaning." she sighed at me. "How long?"

Sirius beside me was chuckling and spoke for me.

"Two whole wonderful weeks." he smiled using his other unoccupied hand to stroke my cheek. "Right pumpkin?"

"Right." I supplied with a blush. "Two whole weeks today."

"How wonderful! I remember the both of you from school, always fought. I knew it would be this in the end, it usually is." Michelle smiled. "This is my stop." so told us as the lift landed on level three, magical communications office. "Have a nice day." and with that she was gone.

The lift was silent after that for a few resonating moments.

"Two weeks eh?" Evan Rosier sneered at us. "Wonderful are they? I'm surprised really, two pure blood Gryffindor both exiled from they're family. Would have never guessed I'd find a Black and an Ackles together on principal. Part of me doesn't believe it."

"Stuff yourself Rosier. What do you know of love?" I spat narrowing my eyes and tightening my grip on Sirius hand. "At least we're united in our belief that the world doest run on power alone."

"So go and do yourself a favor Rosier," Sirius glared at him. "Go get stuffed." he spat as the lift dinged again and the Floo department showed face. Rosier just smiled a very evil smile as two of the wizards in the back left.

"See now I know for a fact that Ackles here as an extreme dislike for you Black. I also happen to know that snoopers spying where they shouldn't be shouldn't show they're injured faces."

"Fuck off Rosier." I spat at him. "What are you suggesting?"

"That Black here is only holding your hand as means to help you walk." he leered in close to me. "You wouldn't date him, you and I both know it."

"Who says you know anything." Arthur piped up from the left hand side. "I happen to know that these two have been dating."

"Your another order member, I expect you to vouch for they're story blood traitor." Rosier spat at Arthur with contempt and malice leaking off of his voice. "Prove to me that you are actually." he paused holding up his hands to gesticulate quotation marks. "Dating."

"Fine." I huffed grabbing Sirius by the front of his robes and dragging him down into a kiss.

Mistake number one, I kissed Sirius. Mistake number two, kiss is now lasting more than the five seconds that I had originally planned. Great. We pulled back after a few moments and stared at each other before Sirius looked up at Rosier and smirking.

"Need anymore proof there Rosier? Need us to start full on snogging?" he asked with a deathly amused voice. "Now scram." he snapped as the lift dinged again and another level of the ministry appeared. Rosier just sneered at the three of us as he stepped out of the lift and disappeared around the side of the hall with a swish of his robes. Instantly I grabbed my side that was searing with pain once more and closed my eyes to fight it off. I felt Arthur rest his hand on my shoulder comfortingly as Sirius's grip on my hand tightened. I opened my eyes and glowered at the door to the lift.

"I fucking hate that bastard." I spat with venom. "One of these days I'm going to get the sick son of a bitch."

"Now now Gwendolyn. Calm your pretty little head down." Sirius smirked at me. "Its our level." he indicated to the Auror offices appearing as the lift dinged again. "Good to see you Arthur, see you tonight." he waved at our red haired friend and helped me step out of the lift.

We were walking again, this time through a crowd of Auror's all going different ways to do many of the different things we all do, mainly paper work. The secretary at the lobby smiled at us as we passed her and upon doing so, she turned to her fellow secretary and started what I'm guessing to be gossip. Eat your heart out Jilly (the really stupid and rather childish nickname everyone gave Lily and James when they were in they're prime as a couple. I loved to tease them about it, and do quite a lot from time to time. Lily hates it.) I clung to Sirius's arm as we walked, for fear that if I didn't hold onto him, I would sink into the floor never to return again. I rested my head on his shoulder, not to look cute and give people more ammunition to gossip about, but because I was exhausted from the morning, and the whole barely healed stab wound on my right leg. I closed my eyes trusting him to guide me as we walked. How did everything get so mixed up? How can Peter be a death eater? How can my father be such a prick? Why did Voldemort have to even exist? Why couldn't everyone just live in peace and harmony with justice? I will never understand the reasons why we poor simple humans have to leave this life, day to day, do our daily rituals. I hate it, really I do. I just want everything to go back, to be safe again. To go back to a time where there were no constant death threats or violence. A time where people that I loved didn't die.

I sighed as I opened my eyes when we stepped into the main Auror office. My uncle was barking orders at some first year Auror's while Marlene McKinnon and Alice Longbottom were going around checking our death eater map, well not that it was precise or anything. The ministry was controlling everything, and we've reason to believe that the death eaters were controlling the ministry. Everything was so fucked up. Everything had been fucked up. It started when Voldemort declared war on the muggles, muggle borns, half bloods, and blood traitors. Or so in his opinion. I'll never forget the morning that I woke up, it was summer holiday, and went downstairs into the kitchen of the Ackles estate to find a large headline in the daily prophet declaring that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had come into power, and the ministry was persecuting him and all those who were in accordance with him. I was sixteen. And my world ended. It was just after that my father poisoned my mother so that he could marry his young new bride by the name of Melinda Hart. I fled the house at the first chance I got and ran to my Uncle Alastor Moody's home. He accepted me with open arms. I stayed there from that day until now. And I doubt that I'll be leaving anytime soon. I loved my uncle, he was the only family that I've left. My uncle, seemingly knowing that I was thinking about him, turned and looked at me with a smile on his old hardened face that was well worn from years on the battlefield.

"Black! Ackles!" he called out to us. "My office now!"

We followed my uncle into his office and he slammed the door behind him. I quickly took the seat in the desk in front of him and closed my eyes to push back the pain.

"Are you ok Gwen?" Sirius asked crouching down next to me. "The wound hasn't opened up has it?"

"I don't know." I growled out. "Its still the same searing pain its been since I got the damned thing."

"Come on," he prodded softly. "Lemme see."

"Fine." I managed out before standing so that the stab wound on the top of my leg near my hip could be checked. I just kept my eyes clamped shut tightly, I almost couldn't breathe. "How is it?" I asked after I felt air brush over my skin.

"Its not good." Sirius told me softly with a worried edge to his voice. "Its starting to bleed again, and not nicely." he told me before I felt something cloth like in structure cover the spot where the searing pain was emanating from. "I'm just going to apply a little pressure." he told me pressing the cloth to me. I flipped my eyes open and looked down. He had used a handkerchief to staunch the bleeding, and it must have been bad because the pure white of the cloth started to have a little scarlet drop in the middle, and it started to spread.

"Cover her up." My uncle barked looking out his office window. "He's coming, with Rosier and Redland."

My jeans were zipped back up and my robe was in its proper order once more. I pulled a cheerful smile to my face to mask the pain that was sure to etched into my features. Sirius stood behind me with his hands on my shoulder comfortingly when the office door banged open and my father, Rolf J. Ackles and two of his lackeys stalking in with haughty expressions adorned on they're sneering faces. My father was in the front, holding a thickly rolled up piece of parchment while Rosier stood behind him with a clipboard and the most nasty expression towards me. I just rolled my eyes at the stupid goon, as if he scared me a 'tall. Redland, my fathers second little protégé stood in the back with a glower fixed on Sirius who was trying and failing to stop his laughing at the sight before us. They looked very stupid, and dramatic. I could almost hear girly chick music in my head to coincide with the fools trying and failing to be daunting in front of me. I sighed and rolled my eyes as my uncle unleashed and angry tirade on them.

"What is the meaning of this?" My Uncle snarled at them. "How dare you just storm in here without knocking? Did your parents teach you nothing of manners?"

"Moody if I were you I would shut up." Rolf Ackles snapped at him. "I am here to speak with my daughter."

"Who is busy giving a damned report to me at the moment. Leave my office and wait your damn turn."

"I think not." he drawled leveling his eyes on me. "Gwendolyn, where were you yesterday?"

I sneered at the stupid bastard in front of me. I hated him with everything in me, how dare he talk to me in such a manner, and how dare he consider me his daughter.

"You have a daughter in here?" I asked with a glare boring strait into him. "I had no idea."

"Stop being melodramatic Gwendolyn, and tell me where you were yesterday? I came to call upon you only to find you missing from work. Anywhere specific?"

"Where I go and what I do in my life is of no concern of yours." I spat. "I disowned you years ago Ackles, and it would do you good to not forget that."

"I am still your father, like it or not. Now answer the question or need I remind you that you are employed under the minister of magic who can be very persuaded by me."

"You shagging the Minister?" I gasped in mock shock. "Why Ackles I had no idea you played on that side of the pool."

He stepped forward and smacked me across the face. Sirius jumped up and got in his face.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Sirius demanded with a dangerous look on his face. "You have no right to come in here and ask anything of anyone."

"Step down Black." he said spitting in Sirius's face. My Uncle stepped in between the pair and held Sirius off for fear that he would do something rash. "Answer the question Gwendolyn."

"I had the day off. I was baby shopping with a friend." I growled with a narrow of my eyes. "What is it to you?"

"Well then if that is what you were doing no doubt." He sneered at me. "Stand up and walk over to me."

"And why would I do that?" I asked rolling my eyes. "What do you even want?"

"I want you to stand up and walk over here, retrieve these papers and sign them." My father snarled. "Otherwise I just might have to report a break in upon my Estate two nights before."

"Fine." I snapped standing up. I quickly stalked over to him and snatched the papers out of his hands without so much as a waver in my step. I walked back over to my chair and sat down with the rock hard mask of steely anger that I had on my face to cover up the fact that I was in more pain that I'd ever known before, and I had to ignore it. I unrolled the parchment to find a legal document stating that I disclaim my inheritance upon Rolf J. Ackles's death. I would forfeit any and all money, real estate, and personal estate of his that should be legitimately passed down to his heir apparent, which was I. Everything from the threads on the lamp shades to ever last knut in gringotts would go to my stepmother. I smiled at the document, after this I would no longer have any ties to the slime ball.

"Sign it Gwendolyn." he spat handing me a quill. "And I will leave you alone."

"Good." I snapped at him signing my name on the undersign. "Now leave me be."

"I have just one more thing to address." he smirked at me before turning to Sirius. "I am told that you and my daughter or seeing each other in a romantic capacity."

"And if we were what would you be able to do about it?" Sirius snapped at him like a vicious dog.

"Well it would seem prudent for my blessing don't you think?"

"No." I told him acidly. "If you forgot that you were disowned by me, maybe I should remind you. I can date whomever I wish too, and there is not one single thing that you can do to stop me Ackles."

"Perhaps not." he sneered. "But I am surprised with you Gwendolyn, dating a fellow pureblood? I thought that was below you're your standards."

"What does it matter what fucking blood he has?" I glowered at him. "He could be a muggle for all I care and nothing would change the way a feel. Blood means nothing to me."

"It should mean everything to you. I don't know where I went wrong with you girl, I thought I'd taught you the perfections of our noble race as Wizard kind. I am ashamed to call you my own."

"Then don't!" I snapped acidly at him. "Because I don't call you my own, and I'm ashamed of you. You'd rather care about money, politics, and blood status than love! I hate you more than you could possibly ever understand!"

"How dare you! You will show my some respect!" he said before slapping me again. "Your petty little fight for peace and love with fail Gwendolyn, yet I fear it is too late for you. I thought I had taught you that power, power is more than anything, more than love and more than life itself. To have complete and total domination is what we shall have, and there is nothing that you insignificant ants can do or say about it!"

"I signed your stupid document Ackles, now leave. Leave me alone and never show your stupid ugly face to me again."

"I'm afraid my dear daughter, that that particular wish will go unfulfilled." he told me with an evil look gushing from his eyes. "Good day." and with that they were gone.

"I hate him." I muttered clutching my side. "I want to throw in into the biggest cell of Azkaban for him never to see light of day again."

"We know." Uncle Al smiled sadly at me. "And one day he will be, I'll see to it."

I sighed at him feeling the world go foggy in my mind. My eyelids fell shut and I tried again to shove the pain that was reeling through me away. Uncle Al's office seemed to take on a dark red tinge to it as I opened my eyes once more to look around me. My breathing was coming out in heavy intervals as the dark red room got all of a sudden bright, something was wrong. The pain in my hip almost was faded away and numb. Come to think of it everything went numb in that split moment. I couldn't feel my legs or my feet. Even my toes were gone to the numbness that was quickly swallowing me whole. I tried to talk, but couldn't muster the faintest sound. Sirius was in front of me talking to me with a frantic look on his barely visible face. I knew that I was crying, but I couldn't hear. Everything was silent and moving as if I were in some weird trance of slow motion. My vision cleared suddenly but a dark anchor of blackness was pulling my down to drown within its inky black depths. I could see him, but I couldn't feel him. And in that instant that I realized that I needed him, everything else around me slipped away and I was thrust into darkness.

..scene…change..

"Get her on to the bed Sirius." Dorcas commanded him as the group came bursting through the door. I was in the back following Sirius, who had Gwen unconscious in his arms, Dorcas Meadows, a healer from St. Mungo's and dedicated Order Member, Remus Lupin, one of my best friends as well as Sirius, and Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody. They had her propped up on the bed in a matter of split seconds. Dorcas was running around the room gathering things while Padfoot was brushing Gwen's hair from her face. Moony was busy getting a bowl of cool water and a rag to calm her fever while Mad-Eye just stood there in the door way with a look of terror written on his face. Gwen herself was awake, or at the very least conscious. Her eyes were in slits and her hair was matted back with sweat from the fever. She kept whimpering as the bleeding on her leg kept spreading, it didn't look good for her. Sirius kept telling her that everything would be alright, but I faintly guess that he barely meant it himself. Poor sod.

"Alright. The only thing to do is give her this potion and close off the wound." Dorcas told Sirius with a stony face. "The only way that we can close the wound off is to cauterize it."

"How do we do that?" Sirius asked with worry. "You don't mean to actually burn her right?"

"Unfortunately that is the only way to stop the wound which will stop the spread of the poison. I did my research dear, and the poison the dagger was dipped in was that the venom of a werewolf." she spoke quietly. Remus's face went bone white upon hearing these words. "All we can do is to cut the spread of the venom off."

"Alright." Sirius sighed shaking his head. He climbed up on the bed behind Gwen and let her fall back into his chest. "How are we going to do this?"

"Well first," Dorcas moved over to the edge of the bed and picked up something leather looking in nature. "We need to give her something to bite down on." she instructed Sirius handing him the dark leather piece. "James could you be a dear and hold her feet down?" Dorcas asked me with a apprehensive look on her features. I moved forward and locked my arms onto Gwen's legs to keep them down. "Good." Dorcas sighed. "Sirius you'll want to put that in her mouth and hold onto her hands while we do this."

Padfoot, who had tears leaking from his eyes held the leather out and placed it between Gwen's teeth. Then he grabbed her hands and started to whisper soothingly into her ear which she responded quickly to.

"Are you ready?" Dorcas asked him softly, something of a tear slipped down her cheek. "Gwen honey just hold on." she instructed the agonizing Gwen who was sobbing into Padfoot's chest. "Just hold on." she repeated as Padfoot picked up Gwen's hands and crossed them across her chest to hold onto her. "Fevervete." Dorcas spoke with her wand raised high. A dark red stream of light shot from her wand to Gwen's now exposed hip. If she could have screamed, she would have sent the windows into broken shards. You could see the pain pass across her face as the sobs wracked though her body in tandem, almost like a dancing melody. Padfoot held onto her as the pain took her up and over and into the land of semi unconsciousness. She thrashed against us, and it took all that I possessed to keep her legs secured to the bed as Dorcas provided her magic. Then as soon as it began, it ended and she went slack. I looked up to see an exhausted tear stained face, her eyes reduced from slits to little if nothing of seeing at all. Her whole body was a dead weight on the bed and Padfoot.

"Gwen?" Padfoot asked with a worried breath to the girl in his arms. "Are you ok?"

"No." she croaked out. "I feel like shit."

Padfoot started to laugh at this and hug her tightly.

"That means that your ok." he told her with a cheerful air to him. "Now you just have to insult me."

"No." she grumbled trying audibly to calm her ragged and erratic breathing. "No." she repeated.

"Ok. Gwen sweetheart this is a sleeping draught that I've prepared for you. It will help you rest easy for the day."

"No." she repeated again. "Sirius I don't want to go to sleep. I need to finish that report for Auror Scrimgeor."

"You need not worry about the report Gwendolyn, I'll take care of it. You need to sleep." he told her softly brushing the hair back from her face. "Just sleep."

"No! I need to stay awake. Just give me a painkiller." she told Dorcas with a bark. "I cant sleep. Not now."

"I'm sorry Gwen dear, but I think it best for you to sleep." Dorcas replied back to her with a motherly huff. "Considering the amount of pain you were just induced to, sleep is the best medicine."

"Just give me a painkiller." she repeated harshly. "I cant sleep."

"Yes you can." Padfoot told her softly looking up at Dorcas and holding his hand out to take the potion from her. "Now open your mouth."

"Make me Black." Gwen spat somewhere between harsh and weak. "I'm not going to sleep right now, and there is nothing you can do to make me."

"Oh yeah?" he countered with a grin. "There is nothing that I could possibly do to make you sleep is there?"

'No." she growled at him. "Nothing."

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you. A marauder can always outsmart you sweetheart, remember that for future reference will you?"

"What are you going on about Black?" she snapped turning around to face him directly. "I'm not getting any younger here."

"Alright." Padfoot chuckled evilly. "But don't say I didn't warn you." he told her softly before quickly leaning forward and planting his lips on hers. For a second she didn't move at all, not a muscle. Now personally, I thought that she would have a heart attack and kill him but I guess I was wrong on that note. Lily was always telling me that they had feelings for each other, though I knew Padfoot had feelings her, I didn't expect her to have feelings back. I was wrong, but I am glad to be able to admit it. The people around me all shared the same smirk watching them, Padfoot with his hands moving behind her back uncorked the flagon of sleeping draught and held it close. Part of me still couldn't believe what I was seeing, Gwen and Padfoot kissing? And not just kissing, they were full out snogging. Then Padfoot pulled back and smirked at her face that turned an instant shade of prune, tilted her head back and dumped the potion down her throat. Of course Gwen sputtered and spewed and looked ready to murder him when the potion, in its instant form, took effect and like something hit her upside the head, she was out like a light.

"Am I good? Or am I not?" he asked smirking carefully holding her up so that he could stand. Then he gently laid her back into the bed and covered her up with the blanket at the foot of the bed and smiled. "Cant say that I didn't warn her." he smirked. "Now I do have to get on that report for Scrimgeor." he nodded at us all and ducked out of the room leaving three o shaped faces in his wake.

..scene…change..

Authors Note: BWHAHAHAHA! YOU CANNOT STOP MY LOVE MY A MERE PAYCUT! WHAHAHAHA! Jk, good old Maes Hughes. *sobs in dramatic intervals* I miss that sod, best character ever! And he had to die! Suck. Oh and I don't care what the hell you people say, Maes Hughes will live on through this fan fiction, even if its an hp one. Cheerio!

-thf


	7. Hesitate

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Authors Notes: Hello All! Hope this past valentines was a happy one, if not in the way we all want. I spent mine crawling around under the house to fix a hose that runs to the fridge. :) Lupercalia was celebrated the happy heather way, of special greenery. (: onward unto chapter seven, hesitate. inspired by the song hesitate by stonesour.

:) cheerio, thf (:

Chapter Seven: Hesitate

Disclaimer: I hereby state that I own nothing! I don't own anything to do with the hp realm or the song the story is based off of. Cheerio!

Playlist: Dust on the bottle ~ David Lee Murphy. Hesitate~ Stonesour

The bubbles from the champagne glass bubbled merrily, floating on they're way up to the top where they burst into foam. I sighed heavily and poured the bubbly liquid strait down my throat. The liquid burned as it went down making me realize that it wasn't champagne that I was drinking, but doctored cider. I reached out for the bottle of hard cider and poured another glass and downed it quickly like the first. A similar pattern continued up until I reached out to refill my glass only to realize that there was none left. I sighed and threw the bottle at the wall and with a crack and shatter it fell to pieces that scattered the floor. Stupid. I thought throwing the glass at the wall to where it repeated the bottle and fell down dejectedly onto the broken pieces of the previous object. Stupid. Again I stammered in my mind. How could I have such a fool to even for a second believe that I was more than I was, that I wasn't a monster. How could I let myself believe for just that second that someone loved me? I made my mistake, and now I was paying for it. I was a fool, such a fool. Today had to have been the worst day of my life. I lost a brother to Voldemort, lost my job at a local muggle bookstore, and my date told me where to stuff it. Not to mention that we're in a war that has no end, people I care about are being avada kedavra'd right and left, and I was still a werewolf.

I don't know what could possibly make my life any worse. The clock on the wall in front of me ticked its 22nd our of the day when the door to the kitchen flew open and Padfoot stalked in with a pale face and haggard eyes. Even if today sucked on fucking ice, I still had my friends James and Sirius, I still had two of my brothers. I sighed and laid my head down in my arms and grumbled as Padfoot sat down in front of me and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He stuck one in his mouth and tossed the pack to me before pulling out a silver lighter adorned with a rabbit on it and lit up. He took a long drag and held it in before sighing and letting the tendrils of smoke escape is mouth. I copied him and pulled out a cigarette and lit up, the taste was woodsy, but the second I let the smoke leave my lungs I felt that top edge of crap from the day lift off of me and float away with the smoke.

"I know how you feel Remus." Padfoot sighed taking another drag. "I feel betrayed too."

"Its more than that." I mumbled sadly. "I lost my job today."

"Why?" he asked pulling out a flask. "What happened."

"The manager told me that I was unreliable and that people who actually showed up for work once in a while might like my position. Gave me my next week's check and that was that."

"What a douche." He stated shaking his head. "Don't worry Moony, you'll find another one. You didn't need that one anyways."

"No. But I wanted it." I sighed taking another drag from the cigarette. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since I stole them from Gwen. Who's probably going to kill me when she wakes up. Heard anything about Peter?"

"Dumbledore told me he's in Azkaban. Shaklebolt told me that they sent him off without a trial after they brought him in today. Prongs know yet?"

"No." Padfoot looked down at the table guiltily. "I didn't get the time to tell him, and I don't fancy his reaction."

"We have to tell him though, its better it come from our lips than someone else's."

"True." he sighed. "Him and Lily are up in one of the guest rooms tonight, Lily didn't want to leave Gwen."

"Understandable. She doing any better?" I asked taking another drag and flicking the ashes in the conjured ash tray. "And why pray tell is she going to kill you? Besides the kissing her part."

"Well yeah." he started with a darkening red face. "She wouldn't take the stupid sleeping draught after Dorcas closed up the wound. So I kind of did the only thing I could think off to get her to sleep."

"So you kissed her?" I prompted.

"I think its funny. Padfoot kissed her." Came the voice of my other brother James as he walked into the kitchen in his boxers. "Caught her off guard at the right point of time and then dumped the potion down her throat. And I agree, she's gonna kill him when she wakes up." he smirked. "What are you lads doing down here?" he asked observing us. "Smoking? Since when do you two smoke?" he asked plopping down in the chair next to me. "Why the long faces?" Prongs grinned before looking over at Padfoot and smirking evilly. "Worried about your dear sweet love?"

"She's not my love!" Padfoot snapped stubbing his now burnt out cigarette in the ash tray. "It was just me trying to distract her."

"Yeah." Prongs smirked. "That's why you both snogged for a few minutes until you tilted her head back and fed her the potion. Just how long are you going to sail that ship down denial eh?"

"As long as it takes." Padfoot countered with a glower and snarl. "Besides, she practically hates me."

"She does not." came another voice from the door way. All three of us turned to look as Alastor Mad-Eye Moody limped into the room on his bumbed left leg. He gave us what appeared to be a smile before sitting down next to Sirius and pulling out his own flask. "She's just afraid. And I cant say that I blame her considering."

"Considering what?" Padfoot asked with a curious glance. "Has something happened I don't know?"

"Many things have happened to her she probably hasn't told you about Black. Her father was a bastard, kept her locked up in a cellar most of the time while he drugged his wife and kept her locked up in her room." Moody growled taking a drink from his flask. "I remember when I used to come and visit Gwen would always look so small and underfed. One time she begged me to take her away from that awful place. And I had to tell her no." he sighed stuffing his flask in his robe pocket. "She's terrified she'll make the same mistakes as her mother, I don't think she could live with herself if she did. I've tried to tell her that you're different, that you don't make me want to beat the living daylights out of you like her father did when I first met him. But she'll get over her problems in her own time, just keep on it, it will pay off."

"Your sure?" Padfoot asked softly. "She really thinks I'm like her father?"

"No, she's afraid that you will be. I don't know much, but I'm fairly positive she seen her father beat her mother on more than one occasion. She has nightmares from her childhood, Evans-Potter tells me she's never dated, much less snogged a bloke. Now as Uncle that is border lining knowing too much, but it helps me calm her down and understand her."

"Its true." Padfoot added pulling another cigarette out and lighting it up. "She told me that herself. Apparently Lily has a list of 25 things she's supposed to have done before age 25 or something, Gwen admitted to me that she's never kissed anyone, that she never wanted to."

"Sounds like her." Prongs sighed taking a drink from a glass of fire whiskey he'd poured himself. "Lily told me that she thinks Gwen is scared, of what she never said, but considering, I guess we know."

"Once she told me that she would rather be a lonely old cat lady than to ever want more than a friendship with a man." I spoke softly lighting up my second cigarette. "I think there is more than we know to her story, and I think its highly unlikely that she'll ever tell us."

"I know." Padfoot sighed. "When we were locked up in the dungeons of the Ackles Estate, she knew right where we were. Told me to find a specific brick on the wall and pull it out. There was an old stuffed rabbit she called Mr. Whiskers, a book of matches, a candle, and a key. Told me that her father would lock her down there. If I weren't already worried about her dying in my arms I would have gone, found the sick bastard, and ripped him a new arsehole."

"How sick." Prongs sighed swishing the liquid in his glass around. "Who does that to they're kid?"

"Sicko's like Rolf J. Ackles. I hated him from the moment he walked into my parents house." Moody seethed with a growl. "Made the hair on the back of my neck stand strait up. But my sister, Grendel, she loved him. And because _she_ loved him, I accepted him."

"Poor Gwen." Prongs sighed into his drink. "Can you imagine living with a crazy like that? I can scarcely even imagine what that bastard was like."

"Worse than you can imagine." Moody growled. "Just have patience Black, she'll come round."

"Maybe." Padfoot sighed taking a long drag from his second cigarette. "I just wish things were different. That she didn't have the need to fear love, just because of that bastard." He spat. "I want to change her opinion, make her better. But she has to let me first."

"Is this Sirius Orion Black, admitting that he is in fact in love with one, Gwendolyn Rose Ackles? I never thought the day would come." Prongs chirped. "Too bad Wormtail isn't here to witness this momentous occasion."

"He doesn't know?" Moody growled at Padfoot. "You didn't tell him?"

"To be honest, I didn't have the time too." Padfoot sighed. "After we got to the office at the Ministry everything got hectic."

"What don't I know?" Prongs demanded angrily. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Its about Wormtail." I sighed to the poor sod. "He's in Azkaban."

"What? Why? We have to go and get him out right now!" he stammered. "How could you think it wasn't important to tell me that one of my brethren is in prison? Why?" he demanded of me. "Tell me right now! Why?"

I looked up at Padfoot who was sighing with a sad look on his face.

"He's a death eater prongs. He's betrayed us all." I sighed at my friend. "We only found out this morning."

"That is some really sick joke right Remus? There is no way he would ever be a death eater, he's in the order." Prongs spat. "Why would he betray us all? Hmmn?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "But if I didn't see it with my own two eyes I wouldn't have believed it James. He really has betrayed us, he really was in league with Voldemort."

"But why?" Prongs sighed with tear drops welling up in his eyes. "Why would he do that to us? He was our brother."

"I know Prongs." I told him softly before swinging my arm up around his shoulder. "I am at a loss over it too."

"How did you guys find out?"

"Gwen seen him when we were fleeing out of the Ackles Estate. She told me she thought she was going mad, but then the next morning we caught him up in her room with his wand drawn two seconds away from killing her." Padfoot sighed. "Stupid bastard, was being shifty for the last few months. Family events? More like hunting down muggles and muggle borns for his master." He spat. "I don't know how we didn't see it before hand, how we let ourselves be duped into believing his half cocked stories."

"How can you say that Padfoot?" Prongs demanded. "How could you even give two seconds of thought in not believing that he is under the imperious or being black mailed."

"Because I heard what he said up there this morning to Gwen. Look Prongs," he paused "I understand you're upset with this, me and Moony are too. But it does little to try and convince yourself he's being blackmailed or threatened or imperius'ed. Because he's not Prongs. He's on his own will and accord, joined You know who. Its better you just accepted it mate, he's left us."

"But why?" he demanded now openly crying. "Why would he do this?"

"Because." Moody interjected giving Prongs the eye. "Because he's chosen his path, because you didn't mean as much as you thought to him, because you didn't mean to him what he meant to you. Because we're in this stupid war where people are dying right and left, where families are torn between what's right and what's easy Potter. Whether any of us want to believe that the spy was someone we loved is just too bad. Actions speak for themselves Potter. He's made his choices, and his actions will either mirror them or not. Obviously he wanted this path. Voldemort probably promised him riches and everything he's always wanted but couldn't have. That's how he wins, with empty promises. Pettigrew will have to bear the consequences of his choices, as must we all."

"Its not fair! We trusted him!" Prongs spat angrily. "How can he of just turned his back on us?"

"He's a fucking rat." Padfoot shouted. "Because he always had to be with the big, the mighty, and the strong. That way he can feel protected."

"I don't understand." Prongs shook his head sadly. "How he could just ditch us like that. I don't understand, how we could have befriended him."

"Because." Came a softer voice from the dark hall to the right. "You loved him." Lily sighed moving slowly into the room. "We all loved him. And sometimes love clouds our judgment. We don't see clearly, we see with our hearts. And sometimes that's not always a good thing, because evil prays upon it."

"Its not fair." he hung his head low, "How could he just abandon us."

"Because Padfoot was right, he's a rat. And that's what rats do love, they betray the ones the love to save themselves." I sighed. "Its too late for him Prongs, we just have to hold onto each other."

...

"Sirius." I demanded sitting up. "Wake up."

The dark haired man sleeping in the chair next to my bed started at the sound of my voice. His eyes opened sleepily and he blinked a few times in the dying firelight before grinning at me. Stupid bastard. I sighed. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to start having feelings for him? It couldn't have been anyone else? I glowered at him before sighing.

"Get up here. You cant sleep in a fucking wooden chair, how will you get through work tomorrow?" I demanded pulling back the covers next to me. "Come on. Don't stand there looking at me as if I'm growing an extra head, get in the fucking bed already. I'm cold."

"Nice excuse." he smirked before walking around the bed and sitting down on the opposite side. "Got anymore?" he chuckled tugging his boots off and flinging them across the room. "I was sure you'd kill me when you woke up."

"Well lucky for you at the moment I'm too tired, too achy, and too goddamned cold to give a shit right now. But expect it in the morning." I told him before snuggling down into the covers and pillows.

"Sure will." he sighed before lying down in the bed next to me. "You surprise me sometimes." he spoke to me softly. I opened up my eyes to look at him, he had a smirk on his face. "Still cold?"

"What does it look like?" I asked him with a shiver. "Goon."

"I'm a goon eh? Well then I guess you wouldn't want me to cuddle with you to warm your sore sad cold arse up eh?"

"Shut up Sirius." I snuggled closer to him. "I need sleep."

"Oooh! I get to cuddle with Ackles. What a feat." he smirked harder, his pale blue eyes dancing with mirth in the dying light. "I'm going to brag all the next week." he said scooting closer and wrapping his arms around me. I felt an electric like current shoot through me, every spot on my body tingled at every fragment of skin he touched. Everything seemed to be heating up at contact, like my skin was about to combust and explode.

"Do and die." I growled.

"Don't worry love, I wont brag about it. Just wanted to see you all riled up." he laughed happily. "Prongs is all torn up about Peter. Cried earlier."

I felt my eyes prickle at this news. Out of all four of the marauders, James Potter was the sensitive one. Judging by his outward appearances, you'd not believe it. But he was, he was never afraid to cry, or show his emotions. Back in Hogwarts, after he deflated his head a bit, his charming and sensitive side is what won Lily over. It was when we figured out where Remus disappeared once a month for, we naturally ambushed the three remaining boys and bullied it out of them. Lily swore that no matter what happens to Remus once a month, he was still Remus and that that wouldn't change for her. James sobbingly confessed that he hated the fact that Remus lost himself once a month, and him and the other two came up with the plan to become animagi to keep him company. Lily thought that to go to that length for Remus, going against laws and rules to show Remus that they cared, was the most heartwarming thing to her. Then shortly after that Jilly came to be.

Remus was, despite what everyone wanted to believe, the playboy. That boy has had more dates and girlfriends than all of the marauders combined. There was for a brief moment in our fifth year of study that he took an interest in me. But I told him it wasn't gonna happen, and we remained friends. To me Remus was the brother that I'd never had, and I was thankful for him. I could go to him for anything, and he always helped me. Peter was always caring. Well it always seemed so. I used to think that he was too soft, that he needed to harden up a little bit. But I guess in the end he did. Sirius was an enigma. A frustrating enigma. Sure he dated plenty, but he was always quiet to people he didn't know. He was charming, and handsome. And annoying as all living fucking hell to me, drove me up a wall and then some most days. But I couldn't deny the truth, which was that I was developing feelings for him. And that terrified me on levels that I cannot even myself, fathom.

"Poor James." I sighed. "He always was close to him. Must be hard for him to grasp and wrap his mind around."

"Yeah." he sighed. "I hate seeing James cry, if I could I'd rip that bastards throat out and stuff it up his rat faced arse. Making James cry over him, s'not fair."

"I know." I mumbled scooting closer to him. "I cant imagine how he's feeling."

"I can, and its not good. James always stood up for him, included him always. Even when Remus and I wanted to ditch the little whelp when we first met on the Hogwarts express in our first year. He insisted that we include him, and that he become one of our group. It just doesn't seem right that he would just turn his backs on all of us just like that. I wish I could kill him."

"No you don't." I snapped sitting up and leaving over him. "How can you even think that? You think that just because he lied and cheated us that you can even think thoughts like that? That you could kill him? Snap out of it, you don't want to kill anyone! That's not something you should ever wish Sirius, because once you've taken a life, you loose something that you cant ever get back."

He just stared at me with a shocked expression on his face. Then somehow his left hand found its way up to the back of my neck and we were kissing. I felt my brain explode and go numb while at the same time I seen fireworks in the back of my eyelids dancing with colors and flame bursts. I couldn't control myself, it was as if my body took on a life of its own and just let everything fall deeper. Time was moving slowly, too slowly and before I even knew what happened I was under him and we were snogging. He was dropping kisses down my neckline and my head was falling into the pillow behind me. It was amazing, and wonderful. It was the world exploding and my heart imploding and just, everything. Then our lips were together again and dancing in they're own tandem and then there was a tongue sliding on the edge of my lips seeking entry to my mouth and as his hand dropped to my hip a moan escaped me and our tongues were dancing in the same rhythmic pattern that our lips were. If I died right now, than I would be in heaven. It was sublime this feeling that was wracking through me. My arms were wrapped around his neck and my hands somewhere lost in his hair. Feelings that were foreign to me were making they're way though me like fiery snakes, slithering and leaving they're venom in they're wake. Then he pulled back and stared me in the eyes with the most beautiful look on his face and I stared up at him with my jaw hanging open in shock.

"Holy fucking shit." he breathed. "Did you feel that?"

"Yeah." I nodded my head slowly. "I did."

"I'm not going to lie to you Gwen, there is something between us for me. Obviously." he grinned. "Its like something I've never known."

"I'm going to hope that's a good thing." I spoke softly. "And agree with you on my part, scares the shit out of me."

He smirked and started to chuckle before letting his weight give way and falling on me in a soothing manner. His head was on my breastplate and his eyes were staring strait into mine with a cheerful glint to them.

"It shouldn't. Love isn't supposed to scare you. Its supposed to make you feel better, to be a wonderful thing Gwen. You shouldn't let it terrify you."

"I know." I sighed letting my head fall back and closing my eyes. "Its like I'm on a bridge and everything is covered in cloud and fog. I'm not sure there is another side to the bridge and I don't want to walk in case I fall. Its something I've never done before, ever known before. I don't want to fall and get hurt. I'm worried that if I take that step all I will find is a long trip to the ground."

"Who says there isn't more bridge on the other side?" he replied softly. "Who says there isn't someone right on the other side of that cloud and fog waiting for you."

I opened my eyes back up and looked at him. A warm smile made its way to my face and I chuckled.

"Touché."

…scene…end…

Authors Note: hahahahaha! Chapter seven was awesome! Or at least. I think so. Cheerio peeps and be wating in great anticipation for! Chapter eight in some weeks time.


	8. The Crow and the Butterfly

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Authors Notes: Chapter Eight AHOY! Hoot!

Chapter Eight: Like the crow and the butterfly.

Playlist: Secrets ~ One Republic. When I Look At You ~ . (Laugh all you want.) Her Diamonds ~ Rob Thomas. Hesitate~ Stone Sour.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing! Nothing I tell you! Nothing. =)

Like the crow and the butterfly…

June was gone in a flash, and July had quickly moved in with a rather extra rainy rainy season this year. All of the muggles that flocked the streets around me were dressed up to the nines in rain gear and warmer attire to take on the colder weather. The rain was pouring down in buckets drenching the streets of Manchester and the people walking them. Along with the rain came the cold, it was unmistakable and searing in its wake. It seemed to seep right through you into your bones, seemingly never to retreat. I was walking briskly down Waverly Avenue, to get to the residence that my uncle and I shared, so that I could escape the pouring rain and the bitter cold. Despite the torrents of rain, people had flocked the streets today going about they're day to day lives. I had to make an extra errand into muggle London to pick up a dress for this evening. At that thought I felt a warm red blush creep up into my face and settle deep. Tonight was my first date with Sirius Black, or well to be exact, my first official date ever. I smiled to myself and hoped I didn't look more of a loon to the passerby's then I already did wearing my thick grey cloak and hat. It took me over three hours to pick the perfect dress, which is telling as I never really liked wearing dresses in the first place. I had bullied Remus into coming with me, as he had the expert ladies' man tendencies, and I was fairly sure he'd help me. I took his advice in stride and purchased a dress he swore would knock Sirius's socks off.

The rain had picked up some when I finally reached my doorstep. Quickly tucking the well wrapped bag inside my cloak that only drew a few suspicious glances; I opened the door and stepped inside the house. Hercules, the big Siberian husky of a dog that I'd saved three weeks before came bounding over to me and greeted me by nearly knocking me over and showering me with doggy kisses. I smiled and loved him as my uncle walked into the room with an irritated look on his face.

"Gwendolyn Rose! That dog is a nuisance to mankind!" he barked at me in that familiar 'constant vigilance' tone that I loved about him. "He was sleeping on the god merlin be damned sofa again Gwendolyn!"

"Aww come on Uncle Al, it's not like he's got a lot of fur. And I did add that anti hair charm to the couch so it wouldn't bother you." I flashed him a grin. "Besides I love him."

"Don't give me the puppy dog eyes Gwendolyn. I know you love him." he huffed walking into the entry way. "Where were you?"

"In muggle London." I replied still kneeling down and petting Hercules's head. Ok so I named in Hercules, zero to hero in no time flat? That's what this cute little buddy was to me. "Thought it would be too risky to go to Diagon Alley."

"There have been more reports about Death Eaters in Diagon Alley lately." he gruffed walking up to me. "See anything suspicious?"

"No. And I just didn't want to run into.." I stopped quickly. I hadn't exactly told my Uncle about… "Death Eaters. Rotten the lot of 'em."

"What did you need?"

"Uhh…" I stammered for a moment. "A new bra."

He raised his eyebrow at me in disbelief.

"I could always tell when you were lying Gwendolyn. Now tell me what you needed in muggle London."

I looked down at his feet at his reprimanding tone.

"I needed a dress." I mumbled to him.

"What for?"

I looked back up at him and sighed.

"Because I have a date tonight."

"A date?" he questioned in that same disbelieving tone. "With whom?"

"Uhh…" I trailed off feeling my eye twitch. "Err…"

"You finally said yes to Black then eh?" he chuckled before grinning and pulling me into a hug. "When's he due here?"

"19:30" I replied softly. "Which is in like." I looked down at my watch and felt my eye twitch again. "Twenty minutes."

"Then I suggest you take the beast upstairs and get ready." he grinned at me. "What took you so long?"

"Couldn't decide on a dress." I rolled my eyes. "You should see the fashion those muggles wear! Like tarts, the lot of them."

"Ahh couldn't find anything with enough cloth for your tastes?"

"No. I found plenty of things you'd find on the ladies of Knockturn alley though." I grumbled walking up the stairs to my right. "I mean really."

"Who was the poor victim you took with you?"

"Remus. He was pretty angry towards the end, we fought over a couple of them. I insisted, and still think! That I looked like a whore in a few of them, he told me I was being ridiculous and that they weren't that bad. But I know they did. In the end we found one that I rather like, found it in the older ladies department but I don't care cause I'm no floozy."

Uncle Al just started to laugh ridiculously at me with a growing red face.

"I'm sure you're just over exaggerating, you always had a problem with that one dear." he smirked at me. "Go get ready I'll entertain Black."

…

"Alright Hercules." I sighed spinning around in the mirror towards him where he was lounging on my bed with a happy look in his eyes. "Does it look ok?"

He gave a small whine in approval and I sighed. The dress was tea length and in a rather lovely shade of pink, almost rosey. I felt odd in it however, as I'm not much for dresses let alone pink dresses. It had two thick straps that wrapped up around my neck and tied off into a bow. The bodice was made of a thicker rose colored material and had small roses and pearls beaded into it. The skit was flowy and twirled around with a bounce. I had my hair pulled back out of my face with a simple pink clip that I'd bought with the dress and let the rest of my naturally curly hair run wild. There was little if not anything of make up in my sink in the loo, only what I had left from Lily and James's wedding. So I applied a little rouge and some eyeliner and mascara so that my eyes would give that little pop. Then I applied some eye shadow which was another rather fetching color of pink. I felt so weird all dressed up though, and Sirius did say to dress up. So I did. Along with the dress I purchased a small black jacket with the same pearl and rose beads stitched into it. Remus picked out a pair of pink heels for the ensemble and swore up and down that I looked lovely in it, but he could be lying to spare my feelings. But that just doesn't seem his motive. I smiled at my reflection, I could scarcely believe that the girl looking beautiful in the mirror was me. I sighed and grabbed my wand and strapped it to a garter under my dress just in case and slipped the shoes on. I was ready.

"You look just like your mother." Uncle Al smiled from my doorway where he stood with his arms folded happily. "I brought you something." he told me before walking into the room and standing in the mirror behind me. "It was your mothers, she gave it to me for keepsake just after she married your father." he smiled lightly laying a pearl necklace around my throat. "There are earrings too." he noted with a smile after he attached the links in the back and pulled his arms away. "Here." he handed me two pearl earrings and smiled standing back.

"Really?" I addressed him regarding the first statement he made, and somehow he knew which I was referring too and nodded.

"You do. Your beautiful just like her and your grandmother. The same golden blonde curls and teal eyes. Before you leave I need to stress to you the importance of Constant Vigilance Gwen. We live in dark times dear, you need to keep a constant eye on your surroundings."

"I know." I sighed. "I will. Don't worry Uncle Al, I'm going to be just fine. Sirius and I have gotten our arses out of more messes with those bastards than is necessary to speak of. We'll be fine."

"I know." he nodded and kissed my cheek. "Another thing, you know the recent contraceptive charms yes?"

"Uncle Al!" I stammered my face going magenta and my mouth hanging open in shock. "This is my first _date_." I implied heavily. "Like that's going to happen. Merlin that's not the way I roll, and I cant even believe that your saying anything to do with that subject that I am not so comfortable having."

"I know." he laughed kissing my cheek again. "But I'm inclined to make sure." he grinned. "Now finish getting ready and I'll go down and meet Black who's coming up the walk as we speak." he smirked and left the room with a whistle. The door bell rang a second later and Hercules gave a cheerful bark before bounding down the hallway after my Uncle. I looked back at my reflection feeling my stomach clench and curl at the implifications that my Uncle stated, surely Black doesn't have that idea in his head. I mean…. my eye twitched and my stomach dropped down past my knees. Ok Gwen, calming breaths. I told my self. Calming breaths. Breathe in and out, in and out, calming breaths. Holy shit where was Lily when I needed her. I'm calm, calm….

"Gwen! Come on." Uncle Al called up the stairwell. "Don't make me come up there and get you."

"Calming breaths." I told myself aloud. "Deep calming breaths." I took another minute to breathe in and out a few times. "I'm coming." I yelled picking up my wallet and stuffing it into a pocket I'd magically placed to be unseeable on the side of my dress, picked up the jacket and walked out of my room slowly. This was going to be ok, it would be just fine. I told myself as I quickly descended the stair well towards the houses entry corridor. I felt odd in the shoes, felt like I was going to fall over at any time so I tried to keep my balance. I knew I should have gotten those flats instead of letting Remus talk me into these stupid heels. I hated heels, made me taller and leggier and… and I dunno but holy effing shit I'm so nervous. What if this date ends badly? Eh? What if all he wants is what I'm not prepared to give him? Oh god maybe I should take my uncles advice! This was nuts, maybe I should call it off. I thought to myself as I reached the ground floor and stepped out of the stair well. The two men were standing in the parlor talking about Quidditch. Now not many people would know that my uncle was a die hard Cannons fan, but I did. And apparently so did Sirius who was laughing at my uncle with his back to me.

"The cannons wont beat Ireland. They're too good to let the cannons take the semi finals. Get real Moody." he laughed at my Uncle who was standing facing me in front of him with an irritated look on his face. He looked up at me and smirked.

"We'll see Black, but mark my words! The cannons will win." he huffed taking out his flask and taking a swig from it. "Irelands beaters suck."

"McKinley does not suck!" Sirius stammered. "And neither does Corgi."

"They do too. McKinley is only popular because he's a nice face to look at am I right Gwendolyn? Don't stand there looking sheepish, get your arse in here." he laughed at my face and beckoned me into the parlor.

Sirius spun around at my Uncles statement and carried on with his Quidditch musings.

"Tell him that McKinley isn't popular because of his pretty boy status and his status as a good beater." he smirked.

"Well." I sighed taking a step closer to the two men. "I'm not going to say that many a witches, and the occasional wizard don't think that McKinley isn't handsome. Cause that would be a lie. He's got room to improve his aim in his skills so I cant say he doesn't have the skills that it takes to obtain the status of a good beater either."

"Gwendolyn how you hurt me!" he broke out dramatically before draping himself all over me and mock sobbing. "How can you wound me so?"

"Sirius get the hell off of me. I paid good money for this damn dress." I told him trying in vain to detach the mock wailing young man from me. "Personally I think Ireland will win because the Cannons haven't won a game in over six years, and Corgi rocks arse."

"I knew you loved me!" he cheered giving me a big sloppy kiss on my cheek and stepping back. "As to the dress." he smirked before looking me up and down. "Very nice. Moony wouldn't tell me anything! After all the begging and pleading from him, nothing, but I'm glad he didn't. The sight is much more nice than the thought."

"Alright you two. Go have fun, remember Constant Vigilance! And Black, if you don't have her home before dawn I'll come out tails a blazing looking for your sorry arse." my Uncle barked shooing us out of the Parlor and towards the door. "Now scram the two of ye."

"By Uncle Al." I smirked walking over to him and kissing his cheek which made his face warm up. "Don't wait up." I winked before rolling my eyes and walking over next to Sirius who was holding an umbrella out for us due to the constant rain fall.

…scene..change…

The small restaurant that I had made reservations for this evening was on the north side of muggle London. It was a festive little German Delicatessen called 'Der Mond.' I had called yesterday to make the reservations upon Moony's request. He raved about it and told me that since Gwen herself is half German, that she would love the place and insisted that I take her there. Gwen was a vision in pink tonight, with her wild golden hair cascading out in curls around her barely pinned up. With just a light coat of makeup and pair of heels, she made my mouth drop. I always knew that she was beautiful, but I never took any of it in personally before. The dress and the smile, it was done in my favor. And heaven I was thankful, because I cared for her, much more than I ever have for anyone before. She wore this utterly ravishing little pink dress, a feat I'd never of expected from her. The dress looked like something strait out of a 1940's black and white movie, which I'm fairly in depth with due to the fact that Moony's obsessed with classic books and black in white movies. I wasn't going to lie, I was nervous now more than I've ever been on a date before. I'm not much the dating or romantic type, I get all my pointers from Moony. So as such, I was nervous as all hell. Terrified that I'll trip or do something wrong and she'll beat the crap out of me over it, because I'm fairly positive that she could and would, that's just the way she works.

She looks happy though, and again as I look over at her under the big black umbrella that we are sharing I notice just how good she looks in the dim street lights and rain in that pink dress that has me weak at the knees and I want to simply stop walking and sit because I'm not sure if I can walk or if I'm floating and I'm so nervous I can hear my heart pound and I feel just like a teenage hormone driven kid once again. She looks up at me upon feeling my gaze and grins, her white teeth almost glowing in the light giving her an angelic like glow. For the first time this night I noticed that she was wearing a string of pearls, and somewhere inside of me when all fuzzy. I never see her out of her Auror robes and holey jeans, it was such a contrast to see her all dressed up that I was over the moon about actually asking her on this date, and with Moony's romantic advice, I'd make this amazing for her and for me.

"What?" she smirked with a laugh dripping like golden honey from her voice. "Why do you have that mushy look on your face?"

"Mushy look?" I raised my eyebrows with a grin. "I don't know what you're talking about.

"You are a liar Sirius Black, if I hadn't seen the look previously; I wouldn't have ever believed that a look so mushy could ever grace your features. Considering its you and I've never seen you look at anyone or anything like that in that way. I've got you going mushy. I'm going to brag about it to everyone!" she smirked. "No person will go unturned."

"Stop being a prat." I grinned at her. "That's my job."

"No, you're a git."

"Uhh?" I held back from her in mock hurt. "I shall take away this umbrella now so that you can get all wet from the rain for you've hurt me Gwendolyn Rose Ackles!" he grabbed my heart. "I'm hurt."

"Your overly dramatic is what you are." She rolled her eyes. "I'm amazing, wounded Sirius Blacks mock pride."

"You did you fiend." I choked out a fake sob. "How could you?"

"Eh." She shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant manner. "Wasn't hard."

"You've evil Gwendolyn. Evil!"

"Oh quite." She chuckled darkly. "I'm pure evil, Voldemort watch out!"

"Prat." I mumbled with a smile at her.

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Git."

"Fine!"

"Alright." She quipped back.

"We're here!" I chirped at her in a sing song voice. With a grin I grabbed the door handle to the Delicatessen and opened it up for her. "Right this way Miss." I spoke with an atrocious French accent.

"Why thank you kind sir." She laughed skipping inside the golden lined doors and into the restaurant.

The restaurant was filled with chatter; waiters were taking orders to costumers. A small tinge of smoke hung tangibly in the air, making the Delicatessen smell of cherry pipe tobacco and cigarette smoke. The Matre D was a little old German man with a long mustache and a friendly smile. People milled out around the bar cheering and watching a rugby game on the telly. I looked down at Gwen as we waited in line. She looked beautiful in the dimmed light around us, making her hair glow a dark shade of gold as her curls spilled down her back. I grinned at her when she looked up where she just smiled rolled her eyes, and looked away towards a corner. This little old lady was in the corner playing something jazz like on the piano while a younger man with a saxophone wailed on with her. I think Gwen was impressed with the restaurant, thank god for Moony. I sighed relaxing a bit; this was going to be just fine. The line was moving up and I motioned on the small of her back to knock her out of the little happy trance she was in with the music. She grinned and folded her arms comfortably as the next people in the line moved up. It was a pretty classy place for a German Delicatessen.

"Reservation name?" the Matre D asked as we stepped up from the line.

I smiled and step forward.

"Black."

He looked at the black book in front of him and checked the name off of the list before lifting his aging face and smiled.

"Very good." he told us before turning towards a waiter and handing us off. "Have a nice evening."

The waiter turned out to be a middle aged woman who took us to a back booth and handed us both menus before smiling and asking what we'd be drinking. Gwen quickly scanned the list of beverages and looked back up with a grin.

"I'll take a shot of tequila and a class of scotch on the rocks." she grinned at the waiter and turned to me.

"Oh uh." I looked down at the menu and scanned it quickly. "I'll have a beer." I smiled at the woman and she wrote it down on a little pad in her hand and walked off.

"How'd you hear about this place?" she asked with a smile in her voice. "It's so nice."

"Moony actually." I smirked at her. "I've got to thank that boy somehow." I chuckled at her, "He always knows what he's doing when it comes to the romantic side. I'm taking lessons."

She just rolled her eyes and looked up as the waitress comes back and drops our drinks off. She picks up her tequila shot and knocks it back before taking a drink of the scotch. Then she sets the glass down and smiles and I laugh at her and shake my head.

"What?" she asks indignantly. "What are you laughing about?"

"You drink too much." I said softly. "But I understand why."

"As if you should be talking." she smiled rolling her eyes and continuing. "Not three weeks ago I floo'ed your flat for help only to find you naked with an empty bottle of whiskey. But then, I too understand why."

"It's not a good thing." I sighed taking a sip of my beer.

"I agree." she nods. "I'm just so wrung up about the stupid death eaters, works getting to me."

"I know. I see." I sighed. "I hate seeing people die around me and not know myself If I'm going to be the next one." I shook my head sadly. "I worry about James and Lily. With Lily being pregnant and James still working for the order. I worry about Remus because legislations getting bad on the werewolves and he's getting depressed. And I worry about you because I've been fighting so long with you by my side I don't know how I'd be if you weren't. I'm horrified because of Peter, who just said screw you like a coward and flipped sides. It scares me. And I cant deal with it."

"And so we have alcohol." she smiled sadly. "Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it out of this war alive. If we even win at all. Voldemort's forces are rising quickly, its going to be a full out war slaughter."

"We will win this Gwen." I told her pointedly and she looked up. "There's no way we wont. Dumbledore is right in that, Love will always be worth it. And it will always win."

"Maybe." she sighed. "I cant imagine a world I'd be willing to live in if it weren't."

"Me either." I grinned. "I didn't know what love was until I started Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor. Before then it was like I wasn't born, like my life had no meaning to it. But I knew because I had friends, and they showed me what love was. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't give up for it, not even my life. Because I'd give it in a heartbeat if it were to save someone I loved, some things are worth dying for."

She smiled at me and took another drink of her scotch before turning to me and nodding.

"I never knew my mother well, she was always incapacitated or sick and my father had nurse maids to deal with me. But even from when I started remembering life I always knew that I didn't like my father, and there was something wrong. Once a week my uncle Al was able to come over and visit me, he always brought my mother cookies and flowers and some small toy for me. And I knew from that point on that I loved him as an uncle, because he was my favorite person in life." she smiled watery and looked down at her glass. "I'm more thankful for that man every day that I live my life, because he took me away from that hell."

"It must have been tough on you when your mother died."

"Not really, I barely knew her some I barely had something to loose. What snapped it for me with him was the fact that because he didn't want to file a for a divorce through the ministry, so he resorted to murder." she glared at the end of her sentence at her glass in her hands. "He so badly wanted to marry someone younger and healthier that he killed her. So I looked at my uncle at her funeral and told him I would need to pack some clothes because I was coming to live with him. He just smiled sadly at me, called me pumpkin, and helped me pack." she smiled fondly.

"Remus was mine." I smiled. "James was my best friend, my competition. And James did open up after he deflated his head a bit, but Remus was always there when I got a howler or had a nightmare about my home life. I seen him able to love openly everyone and everything despite his hindrances, and that if he could, scorned by everyone, and then I could to. Then of course my family just, I got sick of them and I left."

"They're Prueblood hypocrisy is disgusting isn't it." she asked with a sour look. "Always thinking that everyone is below them, that everyone that's not of the purest bloods are nothing but cockroaches to be smashed."

"Yeah." I growled. "Or how they rage they're stupid politics in everyone's faces and marry in the family. Bleeding sickening."

She grinned suddenly.

"You know what's really funny right now?" she asked with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Almost all if not every one of the pureblood families still left are related. And here we are on a date and we're bitching about people who do the same thing we're doing."

I blinked at her for a second before barking out a laugh.

"Too true."

"Stupid politics huh?"

I grinned at her and took a drink from my beer.

"Absolutely. I think it's a crying shame the rest of them couldn't have the same thing slapped right into them. If we all just stopped and realized that we are all hypocrites then maybe there will be a little bit more humility in life."

"Maybe there will be one day." she smiled. "Maybe one day there wont be war and people can live life happily and with love."

"Are you ready to order?" broke in the voice of the waiter who had walked up to take our orders.

"Um." Gwen looked down at her menu and smiled at the cover. "I'll have the onion pie."

"Alright." the waitress smiled writing it down on her pad. "And you Sir?"

"I'll have the Huhnerfrikassee" I told her steadily, making sure I said the word just as Moony had instructed me.

"Alright. It will be a good twenty minutes." The waitress smiled at the both of us and walked off.

"When did you manage to get German lessons?" Gwen smirked taking a sip of my beer.

"Moony told me that one. Said it was chicken. And why are you drinking my beer?" I asked pulling the pint back towards me.

She pouted and smirked before taking another drink of the scotch.

"I'm getting drunk quick." she sighed. "Remus sure does know his trade." she laughed cheerfully. "Last week Chandra from the Floo department told me they went on a date and it was and I repeat her words, 'The best date I've ever had in life'."

"He knows his stuff." I agreed running a hand back through my hair. "I'm glad."

"Me too." she smirked at me. "Ooh look. Refills." she smiled as the waitress brought a new scotch and beer. "Can I maybe get another shot of tequila and a glass of lemonade?" she asked the waitress who smiled and brought her the lemonade and tequila.

"There's are harpies game next weekend I've got tickets to. Frank gave them to me after a hand of poker last night. Want to go?" I asked taking a bite out of a bread roll from the centre of the booth.

"Hell yes!" she cheered wildly. "Aren't they playing the wasps?"

"Yeah. They've just drafted this Ludo Bagman character as Beater. I think he was a few years above us at school. Hufflepull."

"Sounds like an interesting game. The wasps will loose, because the harpies are at the top of the league with France."

"I'm interested in seeing who's gonna make it to the cup this summer, my bets are on Ireland."

"Ireland is good." she nodded before shaking her head. "Wales is getting really good. Did you see Dorves make that goal in the game in May? That was freaking amazing."

"That was a pretty spectacular Quidditch move huh?" I nodded remembering that game, went with the Marauders and Frank. "Didn't know you were at that game. You've always been a Harpies fan."

"I know." She smiled. "My uncle dragged me to that game, it was awesome."

"When do you think Lily's gonna have the little sprog?" I asked taking another bite of a breadstick. "I'm expecting soon. Her due dates coming up huh?"

"I cannot wait until that girl gives birth. She's absolutely horrible. I love her but oh my god." she shook frightened eyes at me. "Its like she went nuts! I'm terrified for James."

"He's come to me a few times raddled. She made him walk into muggle London so that she could have a specific hamburger from a little shack next to the wharfs."

"Its crazy." she shook her head with a sigh. "I cant even imagine the craziness like that. Freaks me out." she sighed. "I cant wait until normal sane Lily returns to us."

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy." she smiled. "Because James wants a girl. So he can call her his little princess."

"I agree. It will be the opposite just because he wants it to be a girl." I smirked. "Has rotten luck he does."

"I think its funny." she grinned. "Poor sap."

"Only too true." I laughed taking a drink of my beer. Tonight was going just perfect.

…scene…change…

Everything was horrible! Holy fucking Merlin life was in the shitter right now!

First, and this is just first off of the long huge scary list of topics wrong, the sun bright and orangey was glaring through the window at me. Second, my head was pounding something fierce and all I wanted to do was take my head up to a brick wall and pound my head repeatedly into the brickwork until the pain left. And thirdly, but not lastly, quite possibly most importantly, what happened the night before. The stupid moves on my part and dear fucking Merlin or ceirce or God or what the ffing ever is up there laughing at me and poking fun, shit. Dear god…

_.flashback._

"Come on Gwen, your drunk." Sirius just grinned as he held me up in his half drunken state himself. "Let's get you to Moody."

"No." I laughed at him as we walked up the street. "He said something about meeting Dorcas later and I don't want to witness something of that nature."

"I see." he smiled holding her me up again. "Come on, I'll take you to Lily's."

"No." I twisted in his arms drunkenly. "Let's just go back to your place."

"I don't think that's a very good idea." he said tentatively. "How about headquarters?"

"No." I repeated slapping his arm as we made our way to the leaky cauldron. "Your place." I smiled before walking in the pub and heading straight for the floo. I felt him pull me back from the fireplace and steady me as he tossed a handful of the green powder into the fire.

"I'm taking you home." he told me softly.

"No." I replied taking a step back into the floo. "147 Elmhurst Flats." I called and with a swirl I was jetting though the floo network to his apartment. I stumbled out of the fireplace and skipped into the dark front room. He floo'ed in right behind me and again picked me up as I wobbled.

"Damn it Gwen." he sighed harshly. "I need to get you home."

"Why?" I asked with a whine and a pout I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled close. "Give me a good reason."

"You are drunk, you won't remember this in the morning, I don't want you to do anything you'll regret, and I'm drunk myself." he told me walking me back to the floo.

"So?" I asked pushing him back with a smile. "No time like the present."

"No Gwen." he told me softly. "Now come on."

"But I don't want to." I smiled wickedly. "I want to stay right here." I pulled myself closer to him and smirked. "Can you honestly say you don't want me to either?"

"Gwen." he hissed as I pulled him flush against me. "I'm serious."

"So am I." I told him pushing him back towards the bedroom.

"No." he pushed me off. "I don't think so."

"I do." I told him fluttering my eyelashes. "You know you do to." I whispered walking into his bedroom. "I'm not going anywhere." I told him sitting down on the bed in the center of the room.

He glared at me from the doorway and stalked into the room.

"Here." he reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a flagon of potion. "Drink this."

"Why?" I asked slowly again fluttering my eyelashes.

He again glared at me and pulled the cork on the flagon and moving it towards my mouth.

"If you really want to do this drink this, it's a contraceptive potion." he told me a grin on his face. "Come on." he offered it again.

Without looking at the potion label, I downed the potion and suddenly as if someone hit me on the head, I was thrust into a world of darkness.

._end-of-flash-back._

Oh my god, or Merlin, or who the fuck ever! I am vowing now to never again in life drink. Never. Never again. Especially the damned tequila.

"Morning sleeping beauty." asked a mocking voice filled with laughter from the other side of the bed. "Gonna wake up anytime today?"

"No." I growled out. "I'm never going to move ever again."

"I told you that you were drunk, and to not have that fifth tequila shot." Sirius chuckled at me. "But no, you didn't want to stop drinking and had three more. How's your head feel?" he asked loudly in my ear.

"Arse." I growled pulling my eyelids back to see him sitting over me. "Contraceptive potion my fucking arse!"

"Oh come now." he patted my hip soothingly. "You'd have gutted me in the morning if I hadn't stopped you. I know you too well dear Gwendolyn."

"Sure you do." I growled again at him and moved to sit up. "What time is it?"

"Five thirty in the morning." he smirked at me happily. "Three hours till work, and one till your Uncle comes over here looking for you." Sirius chirped standing up and shutting the blinds making my eyes and headache disappear quickly.

"Great." I sighed irritated. "I'm up way too fucking early."

"It's not early dear Gwen." he told me mockingly. "It's just a perfect time to be awake." he smiled before walking towards the loo. "Just hang tight there love, got to hit the loo."

I sighed and let my head fall back into the headboard with a thud. I made an ass out of myself last night. How was I going to deal with that? Oh this sucks. I hit my head with the headboard roughly, I'm so stupid. I'm thankful that he's not. Surprisingly he's a gentleman, and I feel warm and gooey about it. I smiled to myself. He stopped me, when it would have been easy not to. He thought about my feelings and knew I was acting under the influence. It's odd, almost like he really does care about me. Who would have thought that I'd end up here, dating Sirius Black, the very bane of my existence. It's so weird, and I don't really understand what's happening with my emotion. He walked out of the loo and stretched in the dim light that was flooding in through the blinds. His chest twisted as his muscles stretched reminding me just how good looking he really was. He had long silky black hair and pale skin. There was a little spattering of hair on his chest and legs while at the same time he was growing a small beard of stubble on his chin where two dimples blended themselves in. I was hit then by an onslaught of wanting and of love and it scared me greatly. But I hid my shock and switch of feelings quickly and smiled at him feeling a blush warm my face.

"Rethinking the actions of this last evening?" he asked with a chuckle before climbing back up into the bed next to me. "Don't worry, mums the word."

I turned to him and noted our close proximity. His skin was brushing mine as I was still in the dress from last night and my arms were showing. I felt my breath hitch and suddenly a part of me I hadn't felt before went warm.

"Thank you." I smiled at him in the dim light.

"I know." he smiled right back at me. "I know things are different with you. I accept that."

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "I didn't mean to do all of those things last night."

"It's ok." he grinned bumping my shoulder. "Just be thankful I've got a strong will."

"You know what?" I smirked leaning in towards him.

"What?" he replied with a warm smile.

"This." I said leaning forward and locking his lips with mine.

We kissed softly for a few moments before my arms wrapped around his neck and his tucked around my waist. I kissed him harder and pushed him down on the bed next to me. I scooted down with him and trailed kisses down his chin before locking lips again. It was amazing how easy it was with him, almost like breathing. My legs wrapped around him and then I was on top of him and we were lost in some dream like trance just kissing and snogging and being happy. I knew when he pinned me down on the bed and started in on my neck that I was lost, and that I was pretty sure he was the one finding me. My head dropped back like a stone into the pillows and my back was arching in. A moan tore itself from my neck and I ran my hands down his chest before coming to rest on the waste line of his boxers. He kissed me up the expanse of my neck and nuzzled me softly resting his head there.

"We should stop." he told whispered into my ear and I felt goose bumps spread out on my body.

"What if we don't?" I whispered back at him running my hands up his back. "What if we just keep going."

"Do you want that?" he asked pulling back and looking at me fiercely in the eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I told him truthfully. "I don't know why, but I'm sure. I'm more than sure, I'm positive."

His eyes were boring into mine while our breaths mingled together in a thick electric silence. I swallowed and held my resolve, I wanted this. It was almost as if I knew in my gut that this moment was a perfect moment in my life, almost as if I knew It would happen, and I was ready for it although at the same time it was undiscovered territory and that nervous fear shot through me and mingled with the want and the need I was feeling for him. It was like I was getting ready to jump off of a cliff that was shrouded in fog where I couldn't make out if it was a cliff or if It was just a path way where I'd walk across instead of falling. But I knew that this moment, this risk that I was getting ready to take was worth it. Somehow I knew it, and that made my resolve strengthen. I could do this. I knew I could.

"Alright then." he replied slowly dragging his hand through my hair. "Ok."

We were kissing again after that and the logical side of my brain shut itself off. My legs were around him, holding him to me in sheer bliss. My hands lost themselves in the forest of his hair while he dropped kisses like diamonds on my neck. He lifted me up then, and moved to unzip me from my dress. Together we pushed it up and off of me and flung it somewhere on the other side of the room. He kissed my neck and laid me back down before making his way to my bust line and slipping my bra off of me by unclasping it and letting it fall from my arms. I ran my hands up his neck to his ears and pulled his face up to mine. We kissed then long and slow before I flipped him down on the bed and climbed up on top of him. I hissed at contact with him while at the same time he groaned. I let my head fall back a second before leaning in and kissing him deeply. His hands found my breasts and I felt fire everywhere he touched me. Something was breaking wild in me, and I longed for it. I dripped kisses down his neck and his chest before hissing at the closeness of our bodies. He flipped us around quickly so that he was once again on top. His eyes were boring into mine again and I was lost in them.

"Gwen." he managed out breathlessly. "Your going to need to breathe." he told me slipping my kickers off and pulling my legs apart.

"I know." I replied in the same breathless manner before pulling his boxers down and off.

"I really do love you." he told me sincerely. "I need you to know that."

"I do." I told him pulling him on top of me. "And I need you to know that I love you too."

"Remember to breathe." he told me pulling my arms around him and my face closer aligning our bodies together. "Just remember to breathe."

"I will." I told him breathless. "I will."

He kissed me again and suddenly we were together. I felt my breath catch at the first inclination of pain.

"Breathe Gwen."

I took a deep breath and looked up at him before releasing it.

"Alright. Move."

And then we were both lost, a few more thrusts later and I was painless and everything was amazing. I knew I was moaning although I couldn't hear my own voice, it was like part of my brain just shut off and let another one go free. His eyes were on mine and I was lost in the icy depths of them. Then he was kissing me again and I felt waves of pleasure build up around me like rushing water and I was kissing back with everything I had. Then he was staring at me again and I was staring at him and a heavy pool of heat sprung up in my belly as we rocked together in bliss. My hands found his head and wandered up into his hair while my thumbs played with his ears. I felt the pool of heat in my belly rush until a damn of energy built up in side of me and threatened to break free.

"Gwen." he managed out heavily, his voice cracking and his eyes dancing with mine.

"Sirius." I replied back slowly holding onto the damn feeling the last of its defenses get ready to give way.

"I love you." he whispered to me lovingly. He kissed me tenderly and pulled me closer as our thrusts grew more staggering.

"I love you too." I whispered back into his ear.

Then all at once I was both dead and alive, and then somewhere in between. Something tangible inside of me snapped like a reed and a damn of energy broke free and I was thrust from the world of the living and sent spiraling into some other painless, and unfathomable dimension. Something inside of me had broken wild and free and ripped within side of me like a long river of energy bursting though me and consuming me. I was lost in heaven, I had found nirvana. And it was the most beautiful thing. Then just as quickly as I found it, I lost it and I was pushed back into the land of the living and my body was completely numb. We laid there for a while, not moving, still conjoined. My breath steadied and I could hear the thundering sounds of his heart beat behind in my ear.

"Merlin." I sighed wrapping my arms around his middle comfortably. "That was beautiful."

"I know." he replied back with the sound of tears clinging to his voice.

I pulled my head back and pulled his up so that I could see into his eyes. He was crying.

"You're crying." I noted dumbly.

"This is the most amazing feeling I've ever had in my life." he told me softly brushing my face with his hand. "It's like I've gone straight to heaven."

I grinned at him and kissed his cheek while wiping a tear off of his face.

"And it was beautiful." I told him in a whisper.

"So are you." he told me kissing my lips. "More than."

I smiled and closed my eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"We should probably get up, as we have work in." I looked over at the clock on the nightstand beside me. "Two hours. My Uncle will murder us if we don't show up on time fresh and ready to charge into battle."

"Your Uncle is going to skin me alive for not having you home. I'm going to be doomed." he sighed dramatically while holding me tighter. "Don't make me go! I don't wanna die."

I grinned and chuckled at him.

"My Uncle isn't going to skin you alive, remember I always get what I want with my Uncle." I smirked at him as he looked up at me. "Well mostly. He won't murder you, on account that It would make me cry and trust me, he doesn't like to see me cry."

"Abusing your Uncles love!" he broke out mock scandalized. "How could you do such a thing Gwendolyn Rose? How?"

"Don't be so dramatic Sirius, you know that I love my uncle, he's the only male figure in my life that's had any good impact. I owe him my life, and I owe him my freedom."

"He loves you too. His little Gweny." he smiled. "I remember when Hammond was all over you in the office and your Uncle threatened to nail his balls to his mantle if he didn't leave you alone. And he was serious."

"When did this happen?" I asked curiously. "I was just relieved that pig left me alone. Remember how I used to use you as my shield for him?" I laughed at him happily. "Good times."

"I'll be your shield from pigs any time." he smirked at me happily. "Just lemme know. Now, what do you say about a very nice very long hot shower." he wiggled his eyebrows tauntingly.

"Well." I smirked back at him in kind. "I'm thinking that that is the best idea you've ever had."

"Shall we my lady?" he asked standing up from the bed and extending his hand towards me as if I were a damsel in distress.

With another wicked smirk on my part, I grasped his hand.

"I think we shall."

..scene…end..

How did you like the 20 page chapter? Good eh? Was awesome for me too. Reviews are love! I had a particularly good time writing this here chapter. What with all of the love and the dramatics and of course, the really awesome Quidditch talk that I just had to throw in for goodness sake. Speaking of, Go Green Bay! May you win freaking ass, if you haven't noticed that this is pre super bowl. Well go packers! Woot! ~thf


	9. Linger

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

May all of your prayers, to god, or to whomever, be for those who lost they're lives in both the earthquake and tsunami that ravaged japan. Take a moment and think of them, after all, its only a moment. Never the less, those moments mean something for you and for them. If a thousand people took one minute out of they're day to reflect on this, then there will be a thousand minutes gathered as one in such a horrific catastrophe. -thf

Note: Hello all! I am going to take a moment of time and direct you lovely readers to listen to Love of my life by Queen. It is one of my most favorite songs, and every time I hear it I cry. Because it's so beautiful. So take a listen, it's off of their 1976 album A Night at the Opera. Give it a listen; see if it invokes the emotions in you that it does within me. Cheerio and forward onto with chapter nine.

Playlist: Crystal ~ Stevie Nicks. The Only Hope for Me ~ Mcr. Sing~ MCR. Second Chance, The Crow and The Butterfly~ Shinedown. A Shot in the Dark ~ Ozzy Osborne. A Year without Rain~ Selena Gomez

Chapter Nine: Linger

* * *

There was a very loud incessant knock on the front door. I groaned into my steaming mug of coffee I had stuffed next to my face and sighed. Two minutes awake and already there was activity occurring. I took a deep drink from my coffee and set myself out to battle my way across the living room towards the front door. I made it there slowly as to make sure none of my coffee would slosh out of my mug. I slipped the chain on the door and unlocked the knobs before I flicked my wand and took the security wards off of the apartment. I opened the door to find a very nervous and worried looking Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody. I took a couple steps back to let him into the room and moved to shut, lock, and replace the security wards onto the apartment as to keep us safe. I turned to Mad-eye who was eyeing the mess that littered our apartment with a look of dismay. He turned to me.

"Is Gwendolyn here?" he asked at me with a very pointed look on his face as if he were saying 'don't lie to me boy'. "She did not return home from her date with Black last night."

"I do not know sir." I shook my head before taking another deep drink from my black coffee. "I thought that I heard Sirius come in last night, it is possible that she's with him." I stopped abruptly after that realizing the mistake that I'd just made. Quickly I recovered and launched in defense. "But that's not really Gwen's m.o you know. So I really don't know. She might be over at Lily and James's last night."

"True." Mad-eye nodded swiveling his magical eye towards Padfoot's room and went red in the face. "She's here. Go in there and get them please."

"Uh." my face went an equally dark shade of red and I sat my coffee down before walking back across the room to Padfoot's bedroom door. I stood there for a few minutes but didn't hear anything, which probably means they've put up a silencing charm. Great! This is just my luck that I would be the one forced to walk in on one of my best mates and the girl I looked at as a sister. Perfect. I sighed and lifted my hand to the door and knocked a few times. "Padfoot, Gwen. Mad-eye's here."

Nothing happened for a few moments, but then sure enough the door swung open and a flustered and sleepy eyed Gwen stood in the door way. My face must have given me away because she just started to laugh at me.

"Don't look so damn shocked Remus. Merlin." she shook her head and shut the door before walking into the living area to see her uncle.

"Hey. Sorry I didn't come back home last night but I was rather drunk and wasn't too keen on finding you and Dorcas." she broke off beet red. "So I dragged Sirius back here and he knocked me out with a sobering potion on account that I was err rather drunk so I stayed the night here."

"Alright." Mad-eye amended her with a smile, odd for a situation like this. "I'll meet you back at the house or if not at Headquarters. Remember, constant vigilance!" then the kissed her on the forehead nodded to me and apparated away.

Gwen turned to me and smirked.

"So where's the coffee?" her cheeks were pink tinged.

"Kitchen." I pointed to my left where the kitchen was. "So that really the story?"

"Of course." she blushed walking up to the counter where the coffee pot was located. She pulled a mug down from a shelf and filled the mug up before turning to me and drinking. "Why would I lie to my uncle?"

"Gwen." I raised my eyebrows. "Are you forgetting the fact that with my extrasensory werewolf abilities I have a rather sensitive nose. So don't bother lying to me."

"Stupid extra fucking sensory werewolf abilities." she growled in a mumble. "So what! I still told the truth to my uncle. I just didn't tell him about this morning."

"That's really more information that I really just don't want to hear Gwen. I just have one question, and don't lie to me because I will know." I stopped and sighed at this. "He didn't rush you did he?"

"Of course not Remus. Give your best mate some credit." she said softly, with a light smile on her face. "Do you honestly think that I would let anyone rush me into something I wasn't ready for? And do you honestly believe that Sirius would ever do that to someone? Let alone me?"

"No." I grinned. "But I've got to make sure."

"Uh huh." she rolled her eyes. "Besides, how many girlfriends have you seen him have? I'm aware of three."

"True. But that's just because he was never particularly interested or into girls. I remember back in sixth year when he had the hugest crush on Sabrina Lockwood. Stuttered every time he tried to talk to her."

"See. He may drive me to crazy town at least twelve consecutive times a day, but he is a good guy."

"As long as you're sure that this is the path you want to take, I won't be forced to kill him."

"Aww look." she giggled pulling me into a hug. "Paternal Remus, such a great feat to witness."

"What's going on here Moony! Tiring to steal my girl from me?" I heard Padfoot chuckle walking into the kitchen with an obvious spring to his step. I shook my head and smiled. "Of course."

"Uh huh." Padfoot turned to us with a smile and fetching a cup of earl grey tea. "Sure you are."

"I am." I smiled at him mischievously. "See." I told him before scooping Gwen up off of the floor and hoisting her over my shoulder. "I'm taking her off to my cave." I told him before walking off towards my room.

"Remus put me down!" Gwen shrieked at me. "Right Merlin be damned now! Put me down."

"Alright." I amended setting her down on the floor. "Go see your smelly mutt."

.scene..change.

* * *

"I can't go in there Gwen. Your Uncle is going to murder me. I'm going to be fried by him and then I'm going to be eaten by him Gwen! Please. Don't make me go in there, it's not right!" he begged dropping to his knees and mock sobbed. "I just found the light! Don't forsake me now."

"Sirius. Get your arse up off of the floor. He isn't going to kill you, just calm the hell down." I told him pulling him up to stand. "We have two minutes. If we're late he'll have us skinned."

"But I don't want to face him right now." He crouched back down behind the file cabinet and mocked a sob. "I feel like the bad guy."

"Oh stop." I rolled my eyes. "Don't look at it that way you dweeb. Now man up, we've got death eaters to catch and convict." I opened the door to the Auror department.

The room was filled with Auror's going about their daily business. Alice Longbottom, pregnant and hazy looking was sitting at her desk flipping through a folder and taking notes on it. Marlene McKinnon was conversing with Auror Benjy Fenwick while my uncle and boss was standing in the center of the room barking out orders to people and picking up reports as they were handed to him. I turned back to find Sirius ducked behind a file cabinet and with a pleading look etched into his handsome face. I smirked and walked back to him.

"Please Gwendolyn, don't let him kill me." He whined looking forlorn. "Is it my fault I fell for his little pumpkin? Is it really my fault that you just had to steal the still beating heart right out of my chest?" he spoke filling his voice with mock terror. "I'm sorry Merlin! Don't make this my last day on earth? Why can't I die in battle with some stupid arse Death Eater? Why does it have to be at the hands of my beloved's uncle? Why Merlin? What did I do to deserve this?"

"What is that imbecile being dramatic about this early in the god damned morning for?" My Uncle barked as he walked up next to me. "Is there something the matter with his brain?"

Sirius who was previously being a dramatic git now sat there crouched behind the file cabinet with a look of sheer terror on his face at the appearance of my uncle. Quickly he stood up and wiped his terror stricken expression from his face and replaced it with a snarky grin. He ran a hand through his hair and stepped forward towards both myself and my uncle who was giving Sirius an unreadable look. I started to giggle at they're stare off, as that's exactly what they were doing.

"Moody." Sirius nodded his head finally at my uncle.

"Black." My uncle nodded back at him with a light look in his eyes.

"Uhh…" Sirius faltered going beet red. "Got anything for us to take care of?"

"As a matter of fact, I need both you and Ackles in my office right now. I've a mission for the two of you." He barked walking in the direction of his office. I smiled and skipped after him happily. There was nothing as wonderful as hunting death eaters first thing in the morning to brighten my day. If it were my way, I'd have each and every one of those bastards locked up in Azkaban with the dementors. All the pure blood racists wanted was domination of everything in this world that I loved, that I wanted to protect. If they had they're way, we who are all fighting for peace and justice would be dead. We entered my uncle's office after that, Sirius on my tail. "Shut the door."

Sirius shut the door and waved his wand probably creating a silencing charm to make sure we weren't overheard. If was almost astonishing how much both Sirius and my uncle were alike. But well, I think that's what I've always liked about Sirius, his no nonsense attitude when it came to important matters and situations. "So what are we doing?"

"Well first there is a matter that I wish to discuss." Uncle Al barked sitting down in the chair behind his large desk made of oak. "Did I not say I wanted my niece home before dawn? I do believe that you did not accomplish that Black."

"It's not his fault." I interjected dropping in the chair in front of my uncle's desk. "It was my fault. I got too drunk."

"Is this true Black?" My uncle raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "Is it true that she got too drunk and as result, she did not come home at the proper time?"

"Yes Sir." Sirius said slowly his face draining of color. "She kept mumbling something about Miss Dorcas coming over and not wanting to be there. I tried to take her to Headquarters but she refused and floo'ed to my flat."

"Is this true Gwendolyn?"

"Yes Uncle Al, it's true. Me and tequila never did mix well." I blushed and looked down at the floor. "I shouldn't have gotten that drunk."

"Well." He sighed sitting back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. "That settles that then. Now, I need both of you to do some detail work on Malfoy. Follow him, watching him, eat and breathe him for the next two days. I want daily reports due back to me by eleven am each day you are out on the field. There is reason to believe that he may be coercing the daily prophet to print anti muggle legislation. Watch him carefully; we all know how much of a spineless fish Lucius Malfoy can be when provoked. Remember to pack for the trip carefully, make sure to bring along medical supplies just in case, we don't want a repeat of the last time I sent you both out into the field. Wear warm clothing as its getting rainier by the moment and don't forget Constant Vigilance!"

"Yes Uncle Al. Anything else?" I asked standing up.

"Only one more thing; I myself remember what it feels like to experience budding love, don't let it distract you. I know things can get heated in the moment, but it's important for you to remember that there is always a time and place for everything. Don't let your emotions take the better of you, control them."

"Yes Sir."

..scene..change..

* * *

"Oh dear Gwendolyn my love, wakey wakey."

The warm rich tones of Sirius's voice pulled me out of being lost in a rather wonderful dream involving Everett Corgi, a can of ready whip whipped cream, and a rather feathery pink boa. With a slight growl I felt sleep fade away from me along with the rather fetching sight of Everett Corgi's bum. My eyes flipped open to the darkness of Sirius Blacks bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. It was then that I felt a sudden pang of guilt at the dream of Everett Corgi's backside, whipped cream, and feather boa. Here I loved Sirius, as odd and crazy as that was for me to comprehend. But I loved him, I can't imagine living life without him, and I honestly don't know how I lived life not loving him, not knowing what his touch felt like when we were lost to the world with only ourselves as we made such beautiful love. And the he stood in the moonlight; naked as the day he was born with such a wonderful smile on his face as he stood over me.

"Gwendolyn my love, were you having a nice dream?"

I felt my face color at this and moved to sit up.

"Yes. Now would you kindly tell me what it is you woke me up for?"

"What were you dreaming of?" he smirked. "Because I happen to recall you saying something about whipped cream and Everett Corgi."

"I can't help it; it's not my fault he's got a rather fetching bum."

"Quite understandable, I feel that way with Holly Clearwater." Again he smirked. I grinned at him and flipped the covers back and swung my legs over the side of the bed only to be met with a chill from the cold night's air. I stood up and stretched before turning to him. "Now would you kindly tell me what the reason is for you waking up at." I looked to my left at the small muggle alarm clock that Lily had bought him last Christmas. "Three o' four in the morning for? And might I add, after a very long day watching death eaters from the shadows and after a truly great bout of making love?"

"You know what I love Gwen?" he asked with a smirk before stepping closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist only to pull me to him. He ran his hands up my shoulders and brushed some hair behind my ear. "Seeing you, completely naked, standing in the moonlight after a rather wonderful bout of love making as you said. It makes my heart sing."

"I really don't understand it Sirius." I told him with a smile as I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. "I love you, and it's both wonderful and terrifying all in one great stroke. I am so glad that I get to feel this with you that I get to experience this with you."

"I am glad on that account too Gwen. It's like magic with you, like something I've never known, like something I'm not willing to let go."

"Now, what is it that you woke me up for?"

"Oh, nothing much, just the fact that Lily went into labor and we need to get to St. Mungo's so that we can see our little sprog being born."

"Lily's having the baby?" I asked dumbstruck. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that the second I met consciousness."

"Well, there was the distraction of you."

"You let me be a distraction to you the night Lily goes into labor?" I asked with a grin. "Well don't I feel special, now let's get ourselves dressed, wake Remus up, and get to the hospital."

"As it were, Remus was the one who woke me up, and he's already there."

"Well then we better make time then huh?" I asked pulling away from him and moving to get dressed. I quickly located a pair of old sweats Sirius had lying next to his wardrobe and pulled them on before picking up a shirt off of the floor and putting that on. I turned around to find him still standing there naked with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "What?" I asked picking up my shoes and shoving my feet into them.

"You look hot in my clothes." He stated before moving to dress himself in the clothes he wore the day before. "I am anticipating getting back here and pulling them back off of you."

"Well, the sooner you get dressed, we go see our godchild be born, the sooner we can get back here then huh?" I asked wickedly pulling open his bedroom door.

Two minutes later found him dressed and leading the way to the fire place so that we could floo over to St. Mungo's. We stepped into the fire together and with a whoosh and flash of green flames we were at St. Mungo's in the front waiting room. There was a short line up to the welcome witch that consisted of a child who had stolen his mother's wand and had given himself a quite spectacular pair of antlers; a wizard who looked a little worse for wear; and Fabian and Gideon Prewett looking nervous as hell.

"Fabian, Gideon!" I called as I patted Gideon on the back. "What brings you two here?" I asked with a smile.

"Alice." Fabian grinned at me. "Nice shirt, didn't know you were into Pink Floyd. That was always Sirius's cup of tea." He smirked patting me on the head as he was over a foot taller than I was. "I think she looks rather fetching in the shirt myself." Sirius grinned at me. "One of my personal favorite."

"Oh stop being a git Sirius. You two are here visiting Alice aren't you? I heard she went into Labor yesterday, what's the verdict?"

"It's a boy, they named him Neville." Gideon told us both with a handsome grin on his freckled face. "Our baby sister went and gave us a nephew." He mocked sobbed at me. "We're so happy. What are you two doing here? Lemme guess, Lily right?"

"As it were." I grinned.

"Still wager the gender being male?" Fabian asked as the line moved up slowly.

"We do." Sirius replied swinging an arm around my shoulder which caused Gideon to laugh happily.

"What?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"The two of you. I never in a million years would I have thought that you'd both get your act together and get together. It's nice, we're all glad."

"Mate, I'm pretty glad myself." Sirius smiled at me. "No more crazy built up tension."

"I guess we can expect you two to end up here in both Alice and Frank, and James and Lily's places eh?" Fabian asked with a grin. "Bet your kid will be a hellion."

"Doubtful." I smiled. "I saw Lily go through pregnancy, was downright terrifying."

"I agree. Prongs looked half dead some days. With Lily sending him out at crazy hours of the night to fetch whatever she was craving."

"She looked like she was possessed, and I'm in no way excited to repeat those motions." I added. "Fucking crazy if you ask me, so don't speculate on that one just yet."

"Uh huh." Gideon smiled as the line moved up again making them next. "Well time will tell eh?"

"I guess." Sirius nodded fiddling with my hair.

"Give our love to Alice, Frank, and Neville. If we get time we'll come on by and say hello." I smiled as Gideon pulled Fabian up to the welcome witch.

"Can you imagine children Gwen?" Sirius asked looking down at me with a thoughtful look on his handsome pale face.

"No. Downright scares the shit out of me."

"Me too." He smiled almost with an air of relief. "I can't really imagine that, not that I don't love you enough to have kids with you, just that the idea kind of scares me."

"Glad we agree." I smirked as both Gideon and Fabian left to go and find Alice and her new bundle of joy. We moved up to the welcome witch who looked sleepy but at the sight of Sirius perked up and inwardly I was growling.

"Hello, my name is Meleody Kripkirck, how might I be helping you this fine evening?" asked the witch at the welcome desk. "Mr. Black, I remember you from six months ago when you came in with the Auror Squadron that were attacked near Azkaban. How are you?" she asked him with a wink and flirtatious flip of her hair.

"Quite fine Meleody. As it were out best mates are here to have a baby, and we, being the most obvious choice as godparents." He pulled me closer by the shoulder to him. "Are in search of the maternity ward."

"Left wing, fourth floor. Is that James and Lily Potter? I saw them come in earlier, about midnight. Congratulations on becoming Godparents." Meleody Kripkirck smiled too sweetly, almost made me want to gag. "Perhaps Mr. Black, you'd like to join me for a celebratory drink tomorrow evening?"

"No he wouldn't as he's already got prior engagements with his girlfriend." I smiled with disdain. "Now please have a good evening." I snapped before grabbing Sirius's hand and dragging in down the left wing towards the elevator so that we could go to the fourth floor.

"I love the color of jealousy on you Gwendolyn." Sirius smirked as we came to a stop next to the lift.

"She was hitting on you, in front of me, on the night Lily gives birth. She's lucky I didn't hex her three ways till Sunday."

"Like I said." He pulled me to him and kissed me on the lips. "Jealousy is a lovely color on you my dear." He kissed me again. "Sweet." Another kiss. "Gwendolyn."

"I love you." I smiled as the lift came down and opened up. "Now let's go and see our best mates yeah?" I winked pulling him by the hand into the lift where he pushed the button and the lift lifted us off to the fourth floor Maternity Ward. When the lift arrived we both made a dash down the corridor to the Maternity Ward where we had to go through another welcome witch who looked even more tired than the last and didn't perk up as we stepped forward. With an exchange of words she told us that the Potters were in room four eleven. After that we dashed off again down the corridor towards room four eleven and as fate would deem, was on the other side of the maternity ward. We came to a stop outside the room to the sound of infant cries. I turned and looked up at Sirius who had a wonderful look on his face caught somewhere between disbelief and amazement. I opened the door and pulled him inside with me.

Lily looked more than exhausted in the bed located next to a cradle and window where the moon was beaming through happily. James was standing with Remus next to her bed with the baby who resided in Remus's arms. Remus rocked him soothingly with a happy grin painted on his tired face. I grinned and dropped Sirius's hand and walked across the room to where Lily was. I reached down and kissed her cheek before pulling her into a hug and letting tears fall from my eyes.

"Oh Lily, I'm so proud of you."

"You haven't even met your godson yet and you're telling me you're proud?" she asked with a tired smile and chuckle. "But thank you."

"So Sirius and I were right, I knew the sprog would be a boy."

"It would seem you were." She smiled at me happily.

"So honest question, how do you feel?" I asked pulling back and kissing her on the cheek again.

"Honestly?" she grinned in spite of her tiredness.

"Honestly." I replied sitting down in the chair next to her.

"I fell very numb."

"Numb?" I asked nodding. "That's good."

"Now let me tell you about the birth."

"Was it bad?" I asked feeling my eye twitch.

"Well," she paused looking over at James, Remus, Sirius, and the baby. "It was the single most painful thing that I have ever in my life experienced. It was like cramps, really really bad cramps, times a billion."

"That bad?" My jaw fell open and my eye again twitched.

"That bad." She confirmed. "Planning on kids Gwen?" she smirked.

"Hell no." I replied looking over at the three grown men cooing over the baby. "What's his name?"

"Harry." She grinned at me. "Harry James Potter."

"Aww." I smiled happily. "Harry James, so poetic."

"Don't mock my son's name." James looked up and smirked happily at me. "Come on, get your arse over here Gwen, and hold him."

I smiled happily and stood up. I padded softly across the tiled floor to the men where Remus was still holding the baby and Sirius was gazing down goo goo eyed at little Harry. Then Remus handed me the baby and I cradled him in my arms. He was so tiny there, so precious. I almost didn't want to hold him in fear that I'd drop him, that I'd break him because he was as fragile as thin glass. Then Harry opened up his eyes and looked at me, and by god I realized, he looked just like James but with Lily's green eyes. It was then that I felt my own eyes start to tear up, and then big fat salty tears were rolling down my face.

"Crying?" James asked with a grin. "Did that myself earlier, most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"He is." I nodded looking up at Sirius.

My breath caught in my chest at the look on Sirius's handsome face. And it was then that I knew that no matter what I wanted, one day we would both be in James and Lilly's shoes. He had this look in his eyes almost a kin to adoration but with a twinge of longing.

"Padfoot?" Remus asked noticing that he was lost in reverie. "Padfoot."

"Huh?" he asked tearing his gaze away from mine and looking up at Remus.

"You were lost there for a moment." Remus smiled knowingly at him. "By the way." He turned to me. "Nice shirt, Padfoot's right?" he smirked at me with the same knowing grin.

"It is, grabbed the first things I seen. Meeting this little bugger was more important than dressing up for the occasion." I rolled my eyes before turning to Sirius who was grinning at me now. "Want to hold him?"

"Yeah." He nodded sheepishly.

I carefully, minding to hold Harry's head, handed him over to Sirius.

And then it was my turn to ogle. Sirius rocked Harry lightly in his arms with a sweet tenderness.

"Gwen?" James called. I turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes dear Jimmy?"

"Come here." He said before pulling me into a bone crushing hug. "Now make me an honorary uncle come soon." He smirked pulling back. Then he laughed happily at me as a bright blush over took my face.

"Don't hold your breath there Jimmy boy," I laughed. "I really doubt that that is going to happen any time soon."

"Eh I dunno." Remus grinned wickedly at me. "You and Padfoot have a habit of forgetting your silencing charms."

"So." I narrowed my eyes at him. "What has that to do with anything, you sleep like a rock."

"I'm just saying, three times in a night is some type of record."

"Remus Lupin, you really want me to kill you don't you." I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope, just want that next nephew of mine." He grinned. "Or niece."

"I've got my bets on a niece." James smirked at me. "And then I shalt have a princess."

"It would be my princess and not yours Prongs." Sirius looked up from Harry and smirked at me. "What do you say?"

"Didn't we talk about this before we got in the lift?" I asked with a slight nervous edge to my voice. "I am at no point in the near future, going through the horrible ordeal that is pregnancy. You saw how Lily reacted."

"Hey!" Lily called out from behind me. "I wasn't that bad."

"Sorry Lilyflower." Remus smirked at her. "But you were."

"What if I don't mind?" Sirius asked and I swear I felt my stomach drop out of my body to the floor.

"Are you serious?"

"Quite, was born Sirius."

"Git." I slapped his arm.

"As long as I'm your git, I don't right care." He smirked. "Think about it, we can have a house full of kids." He grinned then. "Like the Weasley's."

"Your nuts." I told him before turning back to Remus and James who were both wearing smirks on they're faces.

"Shut up." I growled. "It's not going to happen. End of story."

"Sure." Remus smirked. "We shall see then wont we?"

"Git." I told him with a roll of my eyes. "I'm not having kids. Like ever. No way in hell."

"Uh huh." James smirked. "Three times in one night might differ with that opinion."

"I hate you, I hate both of you." I told both James and Remus with a glower. "Idiots."

…scene…end…

* * *

Authors Note: hahaha! That was awesome. Don't worry there loves, there will be a whole load more of our favorite werewolf in the second half of the story.

~cheers!

-thf


	10. Gravity

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter Ten: Gravity

Disclaimer: I own nothing I tell you!

Authors Note: Here finally, is chapter ten! cheers and all that. -thf

Playlist: 1000 Oceans ~ Tokio Hotel. Bullet proof heart~ My Chemical Romance.

* * *

"Umm…" Sirius looked sheepish at me as he stood in front of me in the kitchen at my uncles house. "I sorta need a favor from you…"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?"

"Can you um." He mumbled pulling a bottle out from behind his back. "Can you give me a flea bath?"

He shifted his feet nervously again as I burst into laughter.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm always Sirius." He smirked. "And yes. I picked some up last night when the guys and I were wromping around the forbidden forest. They're driving me mad Gwendolyn, I'm begging you." He pleaded dropping to his knees and bowing before me. "I need you to give me a flea bath. I bought this special bottle of flea and tick repellant that will magically repel them for six months. But I need you to give me the bath, can't very well do it as Padfoot myself."

"You need a flea bath?" I chuckled at him. "Alright, transform and head up to my bathroom." I smiled shaking my head at him. This was going to be fun.

Twenty minutes later found him irritated sitting on my bed cuddling with Hercules.

"Stop laughing at me Gwendolyn." Sirius growled at me as he sat on my bed wrapped in my fluffy blue bath towel. "It's not funny."

"Oh but it is." I smirked. "I'll stop laughing at you on one condition, it will be me who is the one to always flea bathe you."

"Fine." He mumbled with the same irritated growl. "I promise."

.scene change.

"Gwen! Come on, I've got something to show you." Sirius burst out happily from the door to my room located in my uncle's household. "You're going to absolutely love this!"

"Love what?" I asked standing up quickly with a smile. It was always nice to see Sirius so happy, and as lately Voldemort had been gaining in the political field, and more order members being picked off by the death eaters.

"I'm not gonna tell you and spoil the surprise, come on!" he chirped grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room.

He practically bounded down the stairs with my hand clasped in his. Hercules bounded down after us with nearly as much gusto as Sirius did until we came to the front door. Sirius threw it open quickly and turned to me before covering my eyes. He guided me out to the sidewalk and took his hands back off with a bark of laughter. There standing magnificently on the street was a long sleek black motor bike. I turned to him and smiled.

"You bought a muggle motor bike?"

"No, it flies. Got it off this dodgy wizard down Knockturn Alley. Got it cheap too." He smiled moving forward and running a hand down it's silver chrome finish. "Isn't she a beauty?" he asked proudly as if he were gazing upon his own new born. "Come on; let's take her for a spin."

"Alright. Let me put Herc in the house and we'll go." I grinned turning to my canine companion standing next to me. "Come on boy, I'll bring you back a really big steak bone." I told him leading him into the house. He just gave me a yip of joy as I patted him on the head and shut the door firmly behind me. I skipped back down the walk to where Sirius stood next to his new toy with a bright grin on his face.

"Shall we my lady, up up and away?" he asked slinging his left leg over the bike and setting down happily.

I smiled at him whimsically and grinned.

"But of course kind sir, where might we be headed?"

"You shall see my dear." He smirked at me before gearing the bike and soaring us up into the crystal clear night of English night

.scene change.

The clock on the receptionist's desk read 16:47. Our department's receptionists name is Carla. She was a bright sunny witch with long flowy blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a rather cheerful smile. She was telling me about how it's her eldest son's birthday tomorrow and how she was just so excited to be able to see him reach eight. She was planning a big surprise party for him at the muggle zoo in downtown London so that he could see all of the animals. I smiled at her happily; it was so nice to be able to see people be happy in a time of looming darkness. I replied back that there was the perfect little gelato stand in the London Zoo and that she just had to try some tomorrow when the party was. She smiled back and nodded that she would love that, that her little boy just loved ice cream.

"Gwendolyn." A sickly sweet but disgustingly familiar voice called out down the hallway behind me.

I felt chill's crawling like spiders up my spine at the voice that my father was addressing me with. I clamped my mouth shut tightly with seething anger welling up inside of me as I turned around to face him head on.

"What?" I asked with a bark.

"I've just come to deliver you a personal message." He told me evenly as he came to an abrupt stop in front of me.

I felt the bottom of my stomach sink at the gravity that he propelled his words with. He disgusted me in every single way, but more so with his richly woven goblin fabric robes, gobs of golden jewelry adorned upon his visage, long waxy yellow hair, and smirk that he'd slapped on his face.

"And that would be?" I demanded with a growl in my tone.

He moved forwards really _really_ close to my face and whispered in my ear.

"Check."

Then he walked off down the hallway humming something that reminded me of a victory march.

Icicles dripped down my throat with horror as I watched him walk back away from me. Something, although I didn't know what, was horribly wrong. I just knew it, with all of me. It was the way he said it, as if there was a double meaning hidden within it. Then of course with Rosier being a creep all day, Voldemort gaining more support in the ministry, something was wrong and I had to alert my uncle immediately. I turned back to Carla who was holding a picture of her son Benden with a happy smile.

"Carla?" I asked her with a forced smile. "Why don't you cut out early?"

"Really?" she beamed happily at me. "But Auror Moody will be upset."

"Carla." I smiled leaning on the counter of the reception desk. "Who is my uncle?"

"Oh." She smiled with a chuckle. "Ok."

"Hurry." I looked back down the corridor to see my uncle walking down towards us and at this I felt an unbelievable sigh of relief escape me. "My Uncle is coming."

"Thank you Gwen." She chirped as she dashed off, her big dragon scale purse in hand.

I shook nervously as my uncle rounded the corner and came to an abrupt stop when he realized that our receptionist was gone.

"Gwendolyn." My uncle barked at me. "Where'd Carla go?"

"I let her take off early."

"Why?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow and cross of his arms.

"Because." I sighed at him heavily. "I need to talk to you about something, and tomorrow is her son Benden's eight birthday."

"About what?" he questioned giving me a pointed look.

"Hercules." I replied with the same pointed look. "It's important, talk to you at home in ten?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Sounds fine."

"Have you seen Sirius?" I asked anxiously as a sudden thought occurred to me.

"Yeah. Told me to tell you to meet him in the atrium after shifts."

"Ok." I smiled quickly before kissing his cheek and dashing off towards the atrium.

I ran down the main corridor towards the lift and slammed the lift button to take me up to the main floor.

"Come on!" I shouted at the doors and started to pace nervously.

"Ackles?" Auror Benjy Fenwick called from behind me. "Is there something wrong?" he stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "You look distraught."

"I'm fine Benjy." I gave him a meek smile. "I just really need to find Sirius." I told him with an anxious tone clinging to my vocal tones.

"Are you sure?" he inquired softly.

Benjy Fenwick was one of the most compassionate men that I have ever known, and he was also one of the most caring. He had an extreme soft side for most things. He loved animals, and always tried to help people when they needed it. In hindsight, he was also one of the most fearsome Auror's the ministry had in its quiver. Benjy as well had a small obsession for rabbits, which says a whole lot about his character.. His garden and house were always filled with his rabbits; they cheered him greatly in the darkness our world was shed into. He was also a distinguished member of the Order of the Phoenix. He was one who would have cats as pets like Arabella Figg, he had his rabbits. He was in Gryffindor House during his tenure at Hogwarts; was two years above me with Marlene McKinnon, Frank Longbottom, and the Prewitt twins.

"I'm sure." I tried to smile at him.

"Well alright then." He smiled back before scratching his head. "What is so important that you need to talk to Sirius about? Gideon mentioned something about you two being up next for the child boat."

My face turned an instant shade of red at his comment.

"Not likely Benjy. I saw how both Lily and Alice were through their pregnancies. I do not hold too much stock in wanting to experience that for myself."

"I see." He nodded happily. "So what are you looking for Sirius for? You look pale, there must be something wrong."

"Just a bad run in with my father." I told him feeling a growl creep out of my voice as I voiced the statement. "And I sort of want to get home soon."

"Well alright then, I guess those are valid points given your demeanor. I wonder what is taking the lift so long."

"I dunno." I told him slamming the lift button a few more times.

"Gwen! Fenwick!" shouted the rich familiar tones of my uncles voice. But they conveyed terror, and urgency.

Benjy and I both flew around at his voice and watched as he came running down the corridor to us, hobbling lightly on his pegged leg.

"What?" I asked anxiously feeling a wave of terror go through me.

"There's been an attack." He told us shortly coming to a halt in front of us.

"Where?" Benjy asked worriedly.

"Azkaban. They're trying to take Azkaban fortress. Black just sent me message and headed straight out. We need to get there. And fast."

"Fuck." I spat slamming the lift button again.

The only apparition point inside the ministry was in the atrium, four floors above us.

"Gwendolyn, please be mindful of your language. Come on, let's get to my office. I'll portkey us there."

The three of us all took off running down the corridor towards the Auror offices. We made it there in less than three minutes seeing no one else on our way. My uncle shoved both Benjy and I inside the office and slammed the door behind him before placing a couple security wards up. Then he stalked over to the mantle in his office and pulled down an oak box. He flipped the lid back and pulled out a silver ring shaped like a Phoenix. He walked over to us and we all grasped it knowing that we were heading into battle. Then with a flash of magic we were at Azkaban.

Air was suddenly ripped from my lungs as we landed on the island. The rain was lashing all around us painfully while thunder and lightning cracked in their own battle in the skies. I steeled myself instantly against the storm and put on my battle face. We all dashed off into the fray unfolding around the fortress. A mass of death eaters had surrounded the prison, they're numbers looked great. I immediately went into battle with the closest death eater I found.

"Stupify." I shouted aiming my wand and shooting the spell at the death eater.

They countered the spell quickly. "Avada Kedavra."

"Reflecto." I snapped pulling a shield up. I watched the green light bounce off and glared.

"Crucio!"

"Impendamenta." I fired back before firing again. "Stupify."

The death eater fell to the rocky ground of the island that the Azkaban Prison was located on. I turned for the next death eater only to see Benjy being attacked by three death eaters at once. I growled and sprinted over to them.

"Stupify." I snapped at one of the death eaters, and with a thump, he fell to the rocky earth. "Reducto." I sent another one, and he too fell off to the earth and shuddered at the effects of the spell.

I spun around and began to fight with the other death eater behind me. With a flick the death eater sent an avada kedavra at me causing me to pull up a quick loose shield around me. My gut sank at the sight of this death eater, something wasn't right. Quickly I shot out a stunner at them which they flicked off and sent another death spell at me. I ducked under the jet of magic and spun down around him quickly and shot another stunner at them and then a petrificus totalis. But the death eater just absorbed them and shot another death curse at me. I pulled every bit of magic and power in me up and was ready to fight to the deaths. Whoever this was needed to be stopped and I had to do my absolute best at making that happen. My shield was strong around me as I called loudly over the wind.

"Who are you?"

"I didn't expect to see you put up this much fight Gwendolyn Ackles." His voice slithered smoothly like a snake to me, as if he were right next to me and suddenly the rain was gone. "Your good, and determined. Courage coursing through your veins, just like the Gryffindor that you are. Can you not possibly guess who I am?"

My mind went blank, it couldn't be.

"Have you guessed yet Gwendolyn?" their voice purred into my ear even though I could see the man standing in front of me with their own circle up not only around them, but around me it seemed. I was confused, how did this man have that much power? Unless… but it couldn't be. It couldn't. "Come now, it's not that big a surprise now is it?"

"What do you want from me?" I snapped holding my wand as if it were a sword and stood strong against my fear. "To kill me? If so, don't beat around the bush."

"So valiant in the face of danger; noble and courageous. It almost makes me want to puke."

"What do you want Voldemort?" I snapped again feeling my eyes flare. "I'm not in the mood to listen to what sickens you about loyalty." I spat with venom. "What is good and what is moral. So just get to the fucking point, I don't want to stand around here all day. I want to either win fighting you or to die fighting you. So let's go."

"Perhaps I simply don't want to kill you? Perhaps I just want to stop here and take the time to have a conversation with my most trusted followers only child." His voice slithered into my ears so evil sounding the hairs on my back were up. "Why is it Gwendolyn, that you are not one of us?"

"Because you all sicken me." I spat. "Obsessed with your blood purity and your domination over all that is good and wonderful in this life. I hate every one of you, have since I was a child. I could have never become one of you, I would never. I told you snake, I want to have this fight now, not talking to you."

"There is slytherin blood in you Gwendolyn Ackles, but you refuse to see it. You should join me."

"That's not going to ever happen fuck head."

"So vulgar, so very very much like your precious uncle Auror Moody." He chuckled darkly at me. "But you are venomous Gwendolyn, you do have it within you."

"Reducto." I snapped sending the stunner at his feet. "Impendamenta."

He merely reflected them off of him with an evil glint in the laugh that escaped him.

"Gwendolyn, it is not in the cards for you and I to ensue a battle on this day, but do know this. I will see to it that you are killed. I will send my very brave and best to take you, so if I were you, I would be prepared. Now for the message I was going to give you, you have a spy in your midts."

Then with a wave of green light he was gone, as if he had never been there. I looked up around me to see that the ministry had gotten quite a bit of the death eaters that had been souronding the rocks. I dashed forward to help Marlene McKinnon fight two of the death eaters she was battling with. With a quick second I internalized the event that had just unfolded to me and tried to breathe slowly. Then I sent a Reducto being sent at one of the death eaters and he fell over, I sent another one at the death eater Marlene was fighting with a sideward jet of red magic at the death eater and he fell over. We looked up and seen more death eaters pushing back our defenses. With a shudder I realized that we were losing. Marlene and I dashed forward as Gideon Prewitt skid to a halt in front of us.

"Retreat." He quickly to us, having to yell hoarsely having to get his message across over the howling wind. "In twenty seconds we are going to retreat. Get ready."

"Alright." Marlene called out to him and I nodded. I looked up and seen the ministry's forces falling. I sucked in air as Gideon and Marlene looked at me.

And then, we all aparated.

.scene..end.

* * *

Authors Notes: Ok so I've not updated in a while. Very sorry this chapter took so long, my life has been hectic and my little muse dried up. But it's back and I'm going to get cracking on the storyline. Have happy holidays everyone. ^^ -thf


	11. silver side up

Story: Why don't you and I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter Eleven: Silver side up.

Playlist: Sing – My chemical romance. Bulletproof heart – My chemical romance. Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin. I'd come for you – Nickelback. NaNaNa – My chemical romance. The only hope for me – My chemical romance. Issues – Escape the fate. Learn to fly – foo fighters.

* * *

_Just one more moment,_

_that's all that's needed._

_Like wounded soldiers,_

_in need of healing._

* * *

The room was stagnant with a sharp silence as the telltale signs of the portus spell wore off me. My stomach leaped back up from my knees and settled somewhere near my throat as I looked up over the sea of horrified faces. As more and more Auror's, Ministry Employee's, and other witches and wizards that had come to the fight filled in, I tried in vain to hold back my shock. No one said anything as we stood in the atrium for the ministry of magic where the apparition wards had been lifted so that survivors could return. Who could say anything in a moment like this? After the ministry and order lost such a major battle in this war. Whether we liked it or not, with Voldemort having the upper hand by taking Azkaban Fortress, we were almost doomed. My breathing slowed as sound came flooding back. People started calling out for loved ones, partners, familiar faces in the sea of people, but I could not move nor could I speak. I looked up around me trying to find a familiar face of my own only to be rewarded with a hurricane of ministry employee's I did not know and no one I knew personally. Then, like a beacon in a sea swept with storm and rage, was a familiar face of my own. Remus Lupin stared back at me with the same sad terrified eyes that I am sure were dawned upon me. Then I flew at him.

The only thing I could perceive was the warm body holding me just as tightly as I was them. I could not feel the warm salty tears stream down my face, or the ones falling into my hair from the person with me. I just held on as the shock of the battle and the meeting with Voldemort himself overtook me and dragged me under like a current in a rushing river. Nothing made sense, I did not know what to do, and I needed to find Sirius. I tried to pull back the tears in my eyes, the fear at the gravity of the situation, and pull the mask I used back on to deal with the situation. Cause someone needed to. However, even though I knew that I needed to do something, I could not. The haunting words that my father had spoken to me only hours before came reeling back at me with a new sadistic tone to his laughter. 'Check' he said. Merlin above we were all doomed, we were hopeless. Like on a boat up a river without a paddle nor wand were we doomed. I needed to find Sirius, I needed to find my uncle, and I needed to get to Dumbledore. Order needed to be taken in the situation, and the Ministry needed to be guarded in case of a double attack.

"What happened? Why were you fighting Voldemort? Are you ok? Do you need to sit?" Remus asked with worry clinging to his voice as he pulled back and stared down at me. "Are you alright Gwendolyn?"

I blinked at him.

"Don't call me that." I felt my eyes narrow comfortably. "He wanted me to join him, wanted me to become a death eater. When I told him no he got really snarky, told me that he _would_ have me killed, and to expect it. Then he vanished."

"Alright." He nodded before shaking his head. "Where's Mad-Eye?"

"Alright? I do not know where my uncle is, what about you! What happened, why do you have a cut on your lip? Have you seen Sirius, or James?"

"You need to calm down Gwen." Remus said holding my shoulders comfortingly. "You need to stop panicking. I am perfectly fine, fought off a fair amount of death eaters. Otherwise, I am in perfect health. I don't know where Sirius is, James was here, but I don't know where he is."

"So then we need to find James." I said pulling away from him. I grabbed his hand with mine and pulled him off to the right towards the fountain in the center of the atrium. We were half way there when we heard a voice behind us call out.

"Moony! Gwen!"

I looked at Remus and in tandem, we both spun around to see James running up to us from the left. He looked beaten and bloody with bruises all over his face and torso, a big gash with crusted blood just above his left eye. He stopped at a dead halt in front of us and just stood there for a moment looking us over and trying to calm his erratic breathing.

"James." I burst out with relief. "Thank the heavens that you're alright." I said before jumping on him and pulling him into tight embrace. "We need to find my Uncle, and I can't find Sirius. Lily's probably freaking out and we need to get order."

"I'm sure that Lily is fine, her and Harry both. I made sure the fedilus charm was still in effect over them. The last time I seen Padfoot we were battling Bellatrix and Malfoy on the right slope of the island. I'm sure he's around here somewhere Gwen, I could hardly tell you and Moony out from the crowd. Just stay calm and do not fret. Moony." He nodded at Remus in an odd way, must be something that the boys developed over the years along with their sing language of sorts.

"I am calm James. But we need to find my uncle or someone so that we can get order about." I said feeling hallow inside. "Can you please go and round up any higher ranking ministry officials." I addressed James before turning to Remus. "Remus what do I do?"

"Well, I am assuming that if there were in fact higher ranking officials, they'd already be here." Remus sighed sadly. "I saw Mad-eye fighting with Lestrange. He fell, but I am sure I seen him fighting again after that."

"Ok." The information slowly processed through my mind. "Alright." I pulled my wand out and held it to my throat.

"Gwen, what are you going to do?" James asked slowly taking a step forward towards me.

"Get order, it's what my uncle would do if he were here." I sighed sadly before speaking up. "Sonorus" I tapped my throat. "Attention!" I barked out calling order to the panicking people huddled in the atrium of the ministry of magic. "Order. Will all head of affairs in this room come up here now!" I barked. "Madame Bones, someone find me Amelia Bones head of magical law enforcement."

"I am here Ackles." The velvety tones of the afore mentioned met my ears. "What is it that you plan to do?"

Madame Bones who was usually cheerful and bright with lovely copper hair and a smile was pale as a ghost, and sick looking. This day could not possibly get any worse.

"I don't know." I shook my head at her. "What do you advise?"

"Who is head of command aside from Alastor in your department?"

"Auror Scrimgeor." I said scanning the room for my superior only to find him nowhere in the folds of the people the room was holding. "He's not here."

"Then who is next in the chain of command?"

"It's…" I stopped as a sudden realization hit me. "It's Sirius. I mean Auror Black. However, he is not here either. That leaves me."

"Right, then what do you propose we do?" she asked wanly.

"We need to secure the ministry, make sure Fudge is alright, and contact Dumbledore." I told them as a half-baked plan formed in my mind. "You go and get some order in your department and see to it that the ministry is secured. Remus go and help Madame Bones round up any stray ministry personnel and get them in the atrium, seal off exits leaving but make sure to let anyone from the ministry in. James follow me to my office, we need to contact Professor Dumbledore."

"Alright. I will send one of my aids to let you know the updates. Come along Lupin." She motioned for Remus to follow. Then they ran out of the room towards Madame Bone's department a floor higher.

"You!" I barked at an Auror to my left named Auror Figgins. "Go and round everyone up and make sure we have everyone in our rankings and if not, write note the name of the missing." The second year Auror ran off towards the rest of the group.

"What do we do now?" James sighed rubbing his face. "What now?"

"Ackles?" a voice called from behind me. I swirled around to find Gideon Prewett standing before me looking in much worse shape than James had when I first seen him with cuts and bruises all over, dried blood caked on his skin.

"Prewett, follow me; you too James."

We hurried out of the main entry of the ministry to the lifts and took the first lift up just as we seen members of the law enforcement squad along with Remus sealing off the ministry and keeping everyone inside the atrium. The lift took us down quickly to the Auror department on level four and let us out. I strode confidently down the deserted halls of the Auror offices towards my uncle's office. The corridors were deserted as we ran almost flying like bullets down the passageways to the Auror department. Time seemed to seep in quickly and numb the pain and fear away only to set in a deep shock that I knew was the only thing that I needed. James was on my left flank panting heavily from his injuries as we ran and Gideon was on my right, hobbling along on his, what looked like broken leg. We came to an abrupt stop at the main entrance to the Auror headquarters and looked around to find anyone there. There was no one, just an empty eerie silence that seemed to engulf the room as thick as fog. I took off running again towards my Uncles office located two halls down. As I reached the room, I thrust my hand into my pocket and pulled out a knife. With a quick half grimace, I sliced my hand open and slammed my hand onto the plaque on the office door that read 'Head Auror, Alastor Moody.' I waited for the magic to work and with a click the office door swung open and I walked inside pulling the two stunned men behind me in with me. I slammed the door shut and locked it quickly.

"It's blood magic. My uncle put it there if there ever were a case where he would be unable to be at the head of command. Gideon, James, give me your right palms."

"What?" Gideon looked at me incredulously. "Why?"

"Because as of this moment I'm going to seal your blood in the door so in the event that I fall, you will be able to operate from within the office." I rolled my eyes.

James grimaced and handed me his palm slowly.

"I trust you Gwen. Here." He grabbed the knife. "I'll do it." Then he slashed his palm and handed the knife to Gideon who looked at me like a fish out of water before slicing his own palm open and looking at me just as expectantly as James was.

"Here." I pointed to a portrait of my grandmother. "Place your palms there. Both of you."

They did as I told them and I whipped my wand out.

"Signa Sanguine." And with a flash of neon purple light, the blood magic did it's work and they're life force was just a sealed within the door as mine was.

"So what now?" Gideon asked stepping back away from the portrait and looking at me for answers. "What the hell do we do?"

"Well." I sighed walking over to my uncles liquor cabinet and pulling a bottle of scotch and a glass of off the top shelf. "I need to get word to Hogwarts."

"I can do that." Gideon smiled sadly. "Then I'll send word."

"Thank you." I nodded at him. "Be careful, don't let those bastards intercept you ok?" I smiled sadly at him.

"I will. As Mad-eye says, constant vigilance."

I grinned at him.

"But first, before you leave, I need to make sure you take a letter to Dumbledore. It's important."

"Does it have anything to do with Voldemort attacking you specifically?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "Me and Moony both seen you and in fighting behind that bubble thing."

"Yes." I sighed before filling up the glass of scotch and knocking it back. "He wanted me to join sides with him." I shook my head. "I told him no, he got snarky, dissaparated and the battle ended."

"But why would he want you to join him? He knows how openly against his politics you are. Shit, I remember in second year, that one Ravenclaw called you a pureblooded racist after that muggleborn kid pulled your hair and your punched him in the face breaking his nose. Then you broke the kids friends nose for calling you a pureblooded racist and proceeded to tell him that you would rather die than ever believe that shit."

"Well, go figure. It is probably since Peter switched sides he has no one close to you and Lily, needed someone else. He's fucking nuts; I don't know why he thought I'd ever even consider it."

"Padfoot's going to freak." James sighed before sitting down in the chair in front of my uncle's desk. "Absolutely freak."

'No' I thought. 'He is going to freak when I tell him that Voldemort's going to send his best off to kill me.'

"Gideon, take a seat in the other chair, take a minutes rest. Scotch?" I offered both him and James "Liquid confidence always does help."

"Sure." James sighed kicking his legs up. "Now, how come you're not telling us everything?"

"Huh?" I asked shocked that he would draw up that conclusion at all. "I told you everything.

"Liar, Moony told me that Voldemort threatened you so, out with it."

"Fine." I growled filling up three glasses with scotch. "He told me now that I turned down his offer, he'd send out his best to have me killed. I don't take that threat to lightly, s'why I put your dna in the blood seal."

"Yep, Padfoot's going to nut out."

"Not if you don't tell him." I sighed. "I wish I knew where he was."

"Me too kid." James sighed and looked up at Gideon. "So you reckon Fabian's at Hogwarts?"

"Yeah. That was where he said he was going to go so I'm assuming that's where he in fact is." Gideon sighed. "I should head out." He slammed his scotch back and set the glass down on the desk.

"Good luck mate." James told him sincerely. "Gwen do you have a mirror 'round?"

"Uh… no. maybe?" I pulled my uncles desk drawer open and rooted around for a mirror, with luck I found two. "Two actually."

"Awesome, hand 'em here." James directed. He pulled one of his own out of his pocket and tapped it twice. "Disputatio Ambulare." Then he grabbed the two from my hand and handed them back to me. "One for you and for Gideon, just say the name of either me, Moony, Gideon, and err Padfoot, and the counterpart mirror will glow and we can all communicate."

"Sirius?" I looked down at the mirror and demanded. "Sirius!"

Nothing happened.

"Yeah well I already tried to get him in but couldn't. Hopefully his mirror is only not working." James sighed looking sad. "I can't exactly imagine loosing another brother."

"He's fine." I insisted. "I would know if he weren't."

"Right." He sighed and looked up at Gideon. "Again, good luck mate."

"Thanks." Gideon stood up, collected his mirror. "Do you want me to tell Dumbledore what you told James and i?"

"Yes. Word for word. Pensive it if you can, I reckon the headmaster will have one."

"Alright." He nodded at James and I. "I'll go on foot and then apparate to Hogsmeade. I'll mirror you when I get there."

"Good." I nodded at him. "Constant vigilance, Gideon!"

"Right." He smiled crookedly and exited out of the office.

I turned to James who was still sitting in the chair looking rather glum.

"Go check in on Lily and Harry. Report to me as soon as you discern they're safety."

"Alight." James nodded with a sad smile. "Let me know if you hear anything about Padfoot."

"Don't worry." I told him earnestly. "I will. You should apparate in case the floo has been compromised. You too, if you hear anything let me know." I nodded at him. "Or portkey, I guess as head Auror I got that kind of clearance."

"Right." James nodded picking up an odd quill. "I'll have to do it as I'm currently secret keeper for Lily and Harry."

"So then I as acting head of this ministry's Auror department, give you James Theodore Potter permission to use the portus spell."

"Thank you Gwen." He rolled his eyes at me "Please be careful, I am sure that wherever Sirius is, he's just fine."

"I know." I sighed sadly at him. "Will do sir!" I saluted him as he took the quill and made it into a portkey. "Portkey back after you're done."

Then with a flash of blue light, James had portkeyed out of the office. I sighed and poured another glass of scotch.

.scène..end.

Authors Note:

Hello all : ) read and review! Reviews are love, and will keep this story alive! Cheerio!


	12. Breathe

Story: Why don't you & I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter Twelve: Breathe

Playlist: Never Again – Nickelback. Someday – Nickelback. How you remind me – Nickelback. Breathe – Nickelback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing I tell you! NOTHING = )

_Would somebody help me stand?_

_And now I've told them,_

_Already warned them._

_I didn't want this,_

_Somebody help me breathe._

The grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were quiet when Gideon Prewett landed on the scene. The rain had ceased and left behind a peaceful feeling in the atmosphere as he practically ran across the grounds towards the castle some thirty-five yards off. The tree's and rolling hills of Scotland glistened as he ran, giving off a contented feeling in contrast to the feelings residing within the man. Gideon was terrified that his brother had been hurt, or worse. The event of the day weighed down upon him, but he could not dwell upon them, for he must make it to the headmaster, for the ministry's sake. A few stray school children were loitering around the black lake as he ran by; Hagrid the game keeper's hut had smoke billowing up from the chimney into scattered cloudy sky above; the whomping willow was resting in the half sunlight contented as Gideon flew past without the slightest interest in anything but his mission. The castle was warm as he entered the entrance hall and turned down the main staircase to the left in search of the headmaster's office. He stopped when he seen Minerva McGonagall running up the stairs towards the hospital wing.

"Professor McGonagall!" he called at her. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him, she had tears in her deep green eyes and her usual bun that was tight about her head was undone.

"Prewett? Thank the heavens. Who's acting as head of the ministry?"

"Well so far we couldn't find Fudge, Mad-eye, Scrimgeor or Sirius. Gwen's acting as head of the Auror Department alongside Madame Bones." Gideon told her as he came to a stop on the stair below the transfiguration professor.

"Well at least that's good news, some good news at least. Are you looking for the headmaster?"

"Yes ma'am."

"This way." She sighed wiping her eyes. "Your brother's here, along with Caradoc Dearborn, Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Arthur Weasley, Androne Abbot-Smith, Michael Bones, Nikita Smith, Amit Norkoff, and a few other people."

"Fabian's ok?" Gideon asked excitedly. "What about Moody?"

"Unconscious, took a really bad hex to the abdomen but I was assured by Madame Pomphrey that he would fully recover. Dorcas Meadows and Emmeline Vance are here as well, from Mungo's helping the injuries. I am aware however." She spoke as they turned down the corridor towards the hospital wing. "That there are four deaths. Rufus Scrimgeor, Ellenor Hopkirk, Richard Bones, and Sturgis Podmore."

"Oh." Gideon sighed. "That's horrible."

"It is, but it comes with war does it not?" she asked as they entered the hospital wing.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Gideon called out to the old man who was standing over the bed of Alastor Moody. "Professor!"

"Mr. Prewett." the elderly headmaster nodded at the man in front of him. "I take it you come from the ministry with news?"

"Gwen's running it. We couldn't find anyone else, she sent me to check in with you, to see what she is supposed to do."

"Well I must say this is good news, I was told that she was in a battle with Voldemort himself. Is this true?"

"Yes." Gideon nodded. "He wanted her to join him, she told him no."

"Of course she did." Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I take it you could not find Sirius Black, as he would be next in command after Scrimgeor and Alastor."

"No, we could not. She's in a right state, sounds exactly like Mad-eye sir."

"Well he did raise her to follow in his footsteps." The headmaster smiled. "I assume you would like to see your brother yes?"

"Yes Sir."

"I shall go to the ministry and check in on her, I suspect she will need the encouragement after the events of this day." Dumbledore sighed sadly. "Minerva, please take command here. I'll return as soon as it is possible." And with that, the headmaster strode from the hospital wing.

Realizing that he needed to see his brother, Gideon turned abruptly around and scanned the room for him. Located at a bed on the far east under the treatment of the Madame Pomphrey herself lay his unconscious brother. Quickly Gideon strode over and sat down in the chair next to his bed and waited patiently for him to awaken.

..scène..change..

"Lily!" I called out worriedly as I landed in the front parlor of our home. "Lily where are you?"

"James?" she came out with a raised eyebrow looking perturbed. "Where the hell were you?" she demanded striding up to me. "You've been gone for four hours! You told me you went to go and get milk! It should not take four hours to get milk! And you don't even have that!"

"There was an attack, I got the message and went to fight." I told her softly before pulling her into my arms tightly. "How are you? And Harry?"

"We are both fine James. What do you mean there was an attack? Where? On who?" she asked worriedly. "Is everyone ok?"

"Azkaban." I sighed letting my head drop on top of hers. "Voldemort took Azkaban over, I don't know who is all dead or who is alive. Gwen sent me here to check in on you."

"Gwen? But why didn't Moody? Or Scrimgeor? Or… or Sirius?" she asked her voice breaking with emotion. "Please tell me they're all ok?"

"Well we don't know where Moody or Scrimgeor is, nor do we know where Sirius is." I sighed feeling tears prick my eyes. "I don't know where he is Lily, I'm terrified. Remus is ok though, he's at the ministry securing it with Madame Bones."

"So how is Gwen? Oh god she must be in a right state."

"Actually she sounds just like Mad-eye. I do not think she is dealing with it yet, I left her at the ministry where she is acting as head of the Auror department. I am so worried Lily, what the hell are we going to do? If Voldemort has taken hold of Azkaban, then the Ministry is next on his list."

"Everything is going to be just fine." Lily told me softly rubbing circles into my back as tears escaped my eyes. "Don't worry, we will win this war. Come hell or high water."

"I need to mirror her; she wanted to know if you and Harry were safe, I told her I'd tell her as soon as I could."

"No, I'm going to make up some food for you, and then you're going to go back there to her. I am sure she is freaking out on the inside; she was always good at switching emotions on and off. I am just so glad that you are ok James; I was so worried when you did not come home. I thought they got you. I can imagine loosing you James; I do not know how Gwen is dealing without knowing where Sirius is. If he's alive or not." She cried looking up at me, her emerald green eyes clouded with tears. "I love you James, make sure you come back to me."

"I will." I told her before swooping down to kiss her. "Come on, I need to see Harry."

"Come along, he's in the kitchen with his cheerios."

Together we walked into the kitchen that seemed bright and content, unaware of what the country had just lost. Harry was happy slamming his small fists into his highchair crushing the cereal lily had laid there. For being only four months old, my son had grown so much. His hair has already started to come in, his eyes bright with happiness. I smiled at him and picked him up out of the highchair and held him in my arms. It could be any second I could lose him, in this war, the chances are that I could die. But he would not, I would make sure of that, and neither would Lily who was smiling at us sadly while fixing me a sandwich like she always did. I felt my throat clump up with emotion as harry reached his hand up and tugged my glasses. I grinned at him and kissed his forehead.

"James!" came a loud screech from my pocket. "James bloody Potter! I want a full report on Lily and my godson's safety!"

I chuckled and sat harry back don in the highchair where he continued to smash the circle pieces of cereal happily. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my mirror and flipped it open.

"Everyone here is fine Gwen." I told her wiping my eyes. She looked frantic in the mirror, but seemed to calm down at the news I told her. "Lily is sending me back after she stuffs me with food."

"Alright. Good, I'm glad they're both safe. Have you heard anything?" she asked anxiously, her hand traveling nervously over her brow. "Remus came back and told me that he's got every single person that was in the ministry inside the atrium with the place backed up with security in case of another attack. Also," she sighed. "Fudge is dead. Gideon reported back from Hogwarts, my uncle is unconscious but not dead over there. Scrimgeor is dead though, and no sign of Sirius. I take it there isn't any on your end, or you would have told me already."

"No." I sighed sadly. "This is so fucked up. I don't know what we're going to do."

"Well, we will do the best we can. Get here as soon as you can, I've got to go and talk to Remus."

"Alright, I'll be there in ten." I nodded at her. "Tell Moony that I'll be there soon."

"Will do." She smiled sadly before shutting her mirror and her appearance was gone.

..scene..change..

Every available magical law enforcement officer, and few Auror's on Gwen's orders, was scanning the perimeter of the atrium in case of another attack. I sighed as I started to pace against the main entrance to the ministry of magic, everything was so fucked up. I am lost for words over the events of this day, it was simply insane. I could not figure out if we were getting closer to loosing or if there was at all any hope left for this war. I cannot imagine the number of people that have lost their lives this day; I cannot imagine the number of people that will give their lives for this war. Every second that passed seemed translucent to me, I was worried, so very worried. Padfoot hasn't been found, what would we do if he were dead? I did not even want to think about that, but with the circumstances, I was left with little choice. Prongs was already over a loss at loosing Peter three months back, how would he deal if he lost another brother? How would I? How would Gwen? I do not know how she is still up walking around, by all means, she should be in a crying mass, but that was never her style. I was worried about Lily and Harry, about everyone that was a friend of mine that I did not know where they were, I was worried for everything and the force of the terror and the weight of the unknowing was almost enough to drag me under. So following orders, I had every person that could be spared guarding the ministry and keeping everyone inside the atrium that was here already. That was odd to me too, here I was a known Werewolf, and they were obeying me. Then with Gwen giving orders, I guess it all worked out.

I heard the slamming of rushed footsteps on the stone corridors of the ministry approaching from ten yards off to the left and looked up to see Gwen streaming to me like a bullet. She stopped in front of me out of breath with a red face. She dropped down, rested her hands on her knees, and gave her lungs time to catch up with her mind and body.

"Remus, I need to go to Hogwarts to talk to my Uncle, and I need you to come with me."

"Where to?" I asked her curiously raising my eyebrow at her.

"My uncle's office." She sighed grabbing my hand and dragging me behind her. She shouted to Albert Morocco, one of the officers standing guard at the front doors to the ministry. "Make sure no one, and I mean no one comes into this building. I do not care if they look like your wife! Do not let them pass; they could be a death eater or Imperiused. If you really have strong feelings of letting them in, ask them something only they will know. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am." He nodded and turned to tell everyone else his or her orders.

"Gwen." I stopped. "Why are you leaving? You do realize you could be killed?"

"Yes."

"And that he's going to send his death eaters after you to kill you? You are aware of that right?"

"I am Remus." She growled dragging me forward again. "But I don't care, I can't find Sirius, Dumbledore is here, he's going to stay in case that bastard tries anything."

"Gwen." I stopped again. "You need to stay here, it's not safe!"

"Don't care." She shook her head. "Now come on!"

"I really think this is a bad idea." I told her angrily. "You need to be here!"

At that moment there was a faint pop and a young girl with long mousy blonde hair popped into the ministry's atrium entrance looking frightened.

"Hello." I backed away from Gwen to talk to the little girl who had fear pummeling out of her. "What is your name?"

"Dora." She looked scared. "Mama sent me here to my cousin Sirius, she told me that bad people were coming and that I needed to go to him to be safe."

"I'm your cousin's friend Remus Lupin, why don't you come with me ok?" I told her slowly. She nodded her head franticly and took my hand. I looked up at Gwen only to find her standing there with tears in her eyes.

"Who's she?" little Dora asked curiously.

"She's your cousin's girlfriend."

"Oh. Ok." She smiled at Gwen. "How come you're crying?"

"What?" she asked wiping her eyes. "I'm not. It's only raining on my face."

"Ok." Dora giggled. "Do you know where my cousin is?"

"He's out fighting bad guys." I told Dora with a smile, however fake it was. "He'll be back soon right Gwen?"

"Of course!" she nodded. "Now follow me, I need to get to Hogwarts to see my Uncle."

"Mad-eye? He's at Hogwarts?" I asked incredulously. "Why is he at Hogwarts?"

"He's there being treated, he was attacked by one of the Lestranges, took a bad hex to the abdomen from what Gideon and Dumbledore told me."

"Alright." I sighed as we traveled down the hallways.

"Hold on." Gwen stopped and pulled out her wand. "Carmine iter scandalum." She pointed at the ceiling and with a wave of pure magic, a bubble like force field surrounded the atrium of the ministry no one else can portkey or apparate inside the ministry."

"But what about James?" I asked worriedly. "That would mean he can't get back!"

"Don't be such a worry wart, he's already here. I've got him up in my uncle's office waiting for me, now let's hurry!"

We made our way quickly to the Auror offices and Gwen ushered us into the room where James was sitting at the desk pouring over blue prints to Azkaban.

"Hey Moony." James grinned. "And who might you be?" he smiled at Dora who was still holding my hand and looking nervous.

"Hey Prongs, this is Sirius's cousin Nymphadora Tonks." I smiled at the girl recalling her name from letters Sirius would read out loud back in Hogwarts.

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" she huffed. "It's Dora! Just Dora."

James and I burst into laughter at her exclamation at how familiar it was.

"Smart kid." Gwen smirked rolling her eyes. "Now, let's get this show on the road."

"What show?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you brought Moony up here to add his blood to the seal?"

"I did." She sighed. "Remus give me your hand." She ordered pulling out a pocketknife. "I need to give the door permission to let you in."

"Huh?" I asked confused. "Wait, there is a blood spell on the door?"

"Yes, my uncles idea actually, but in case I die out there…."

"Don't even joke about that Gwendolyn Rose." I told her with a growl, narrowing my eyes at her. "I am not going to let you leave this ministry to go chase down death eaters."

"I told you I was going to Hogwarts!"

"I don't think that that is a particularly bright idea Gwendolyn." I snapped. "You need to be kept somewhere safe."

"Screw that!" she shook her head at me. "What have I got to lose? I joined this cause knowing that one day I might die; I joined willingly, just as I willingly stand here ready to go and do what I do best, fight! I am going to Hogwarts to talk to my Uncle then I'm going to find Sirius."

"That's insane Gwen." James sighed stand up and walking over to her. "I'll go to Hogwarts with you, but I'm not letting you go off by yourself to find Padfoot, s'not happening Gwen."

"Fine!" she spat acidly. "Remus you stay here with Dumbledore, I'll take James and Nymphadora with me to Hogwarts where she'll be safe."

"Where is Sirius? Can you not find him?" Dora asked next to me.

I looked down at her and smiled sadly.

"He's fine, just off fighting bad guys, Gwen's just impatient and wants to go and help him is all."

It was then that Gwen realized there was a child in the room. She blinked and a look of sorrow passed over her face. She kneeled down next to Dora and smiled.

"It's going to be alright, your cousins just an idiot is all." Gwen smiled at her. "How old are you little one?"

"Nine." Dora grinned at Gwen happily. "My birthday is next month, I'll be ten, and then I'll get to go to Hogwarts next year!"

"Want to go and check out the place before hand?" Gwen asked reaching into her robe pocket. "Get a whole tour of the grounds?"

"Yes!" Dora cheered. "That would be awesome."

It was at this moment that I noticed Dora's mousy blonde hair start to change into a pink shade; I raised my eyebrow at her curiously.

"Well that there is a neat trait you've got kiddo." James grinned down at her. "Metamorphmagus are you?"

"Yeah, the kids at home tease me about it though, call me a freak."

"Well kiddo, I'm an animagus and wish I had that rocking awesome skill." James told her handing me the pocketknife. "Moony slice your palm, this kid needs to get a marauders perspective of Hogwarts."

"What animal are you?" Dora asked hopefully of James.

"I'll show you in a minute." James looked up at Gwen who was now holding out a sucker for Dora.

"Thank you Miss Gwen, Mister James."

"Welcome, come on James, do your thing." Gwen directed James.

While James was busy transforming and entertaining Dora, I sliced my palm open and placed my hand on an old portrait of a woman who looked a whole lot like Gwen herself just as Gwen had directed me.

"Signa Sanguine." Gwen spoke and with a flash of light, I felt blood being pulled from my hand into the portrait.

"Alright kiddo, Jimmy, let's get this show on the road."

.scene..change..

We landed next to the black lake on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. James looked up at me with Nymphadora clinging to his neck in a piggyback ride. He let her hop down and turned to me with a serious expression.

"Gwendolyn Rose, if you leave this school without me I will make it a personal mission to drag your ass back from the grave only to send you back. Do you understand me? Go talk to your uncle, I'll meet you up in the Hospital Wing after I've given this one a proper tour."

"Alright." I told him with a sigh. "By Dora."

"Goodbye!" she smiled as James led her off towards Hagrid's hut.

I turned on my heel and marched as fast as my legs would carry me towards the castle. I passed a few schoolchildren basking in the late sunshine just yielded by the rain clouds that were moving far off in the east. My footfalls echoed against the stone of the corridors as I traveled down them to Dumbledore's office. Memories of my own school years seemed to fly back to me, even though I wanted nothing more than for them to be forgotten at this moment in time as I had only one thing I needed to do more than anything else, find Sirius. It was almost as if it were an obsession, finding him. I just had to, I needed to, and I would not rest until I did. I watched as Lily and I laughed at a joke James made at seventeen underneath the ledge if the charms corridor; I watched as Sirius and I argued over Quidditch on the moving staircase at the age of fifteen, he swore Ireland was better than the Cannons, and I disagreed loudly. Then Remus was kissing a girl a year younger than him under the mistletoe at sixteen to whistles and catcalls in the great hall in front of the whole school. I wanted them to go away, I wanted to find my uncle, and I needed to find Sirius.

The hospital wing was quiet when I entered. Minerva McGonagall was talking to Dorcas next to a covered bed that I was sure was my uncles. I walked up to them silently and peered around the curtains to see my uncle sleeping peacefully in the bed beyond.

"Gwen!" Dorcas chirped seeing me. Quickly she pulled me into a hug and started to cry. "I was so worried about you, it wasn't until young Gideon told me you were acting at the ministry did I calm down. What with Alastor being unconscious and Sirius being missing."

"It's ok Dorcas." I told her softly patting her on the back. "Uncle Al will wake up, and I will find Sirius."

"Oh I know darling, but I cant deny I was so worried." She pulled back and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "He's completely fine dear, should be waking up anytime."

"Miss Ackles." Professor McGonagall addressed me. "How are you holding up?"

"Oh I'm just fine." I smiled. "Waiting to ask my uncle a few questions."

"You can't be serious?" Dorcas asked me disbelieving. "You must be worried to death. I know I was when I came here and seen you uncle lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Not knowing where Sirius is must be tearing you apart!"

"I was taught to not let my emotions get to me in the heat of the battle." I told her simply pulling a flask out my robe pocket. "I am doing what I think is best, and that is withholding my fears and tears until everything is ok again."

"That's not healthy Gwendolyn." Professor McGonagall told me softly. "Turning off your emotions and drinking to keep them at bay isn't healthy, you need to sit and let the shock wear off."

"I can't." I said just a simply and put the flask away after I took a few greedy drinks of the aged scotch that was inside. "I have to find Sirius, I have to! He would do the same for me in a heartbeat. He has saved my life before, willingly laid his own on the line for me, I will be damned if I do not find him. He is the most important thing in this world to me, and I will find him."

"Oh Gwen, I'm sure wherever he is he's already trying to find his way back to you." Dorcas smiled at me sadly. "Why don't you sit down and I'll go and brew you some tea?"

Tea? I thought. Why would I want tea in a moment like this? But then, maybe tea was a good thing at this moment.

"Could you find some raspberry?" I asked her softly. 'Raspberry? Why the hell didn't I ask for earl grey?'

"I'm sure I can. I did not know you had a taste for raspberry tea?"

"I don't. I'm just." I stopped and looked up "Craving it."

"Alight dear." She smiled a little too sweetly. "Just stay here with Minerva and your uncle and I'll be back in a few minutes."

With that she left the hospital wing without the slightest waver in her step.

I looked up at professor McGonagall and sighed.

"How have you been Professor?" I asked with a smile pulling out my scotch again. "It has been a while since we last spoke."

"You can call me Minerva Gwen, I has been years since I was last your professor." She told me softly taking a seat in the chair next to me. "I have been great, teaching and doing what I love. How have you been? Though I must state that it wasn't much of a surprise to find that you and Black were dating, always hated each a little too much." She smiled. "He's talented and smart, he'll be just fine."

"I know." I sighed taking a sip out of my flask. "I'm just worried."

"You should be. I was married once, many years ago. I know what it's like to be afraid for someone that you love."

"What happened?" I tilted my head to the side and looked at her curiously. "If you don't mind me asking that is."

"He died, got a bad bout of the dragon pox and it took him under. I was heartbroken for years, until of course, I started to teach here at Hogwarts."

"I am sorry for your loss."

"I miss him, but I know he's in a better place. What was it that made you want to give Black a chance?"

"I don't know. One day I saw through his egotistical side that I hated only to find a caring man that I loved." I smiled sadly feeling tears prick my eyes. "It was almost as if I have always loved him, but didn't yet know it. Maybe I did, but did not want to see it. I just didn't want to make the same mistakes my mother did with my father, and was afraid that loving him, loving anyone, would be the same."

"And I told you time and time again that you were being stupid." The gruff voice of my uncle drifted over to me. I looked over at him quickly to see him sitting up in bed with a pained looked on his face. "Black's a good kid, wouldn't have let you date him otherwise."

"Uncle Al!" I smiled happily before jumping on him in a hug. "I'm so glad that you are ok!"

"It'll take a lot more than some lousy death eater to take out this old man kiddo." He grinned hugging me back. "I'm glad you're safe, I seen you out there with him fighting. How did you get out of the fight? Did you defeat him?"

"No." I sighed and sat back on the bed next to him. "He wanted me to join him, told me that with my pureblood breeding I'd be an asset. But I told him no, I did not even think twice. He got nasty after that, and told me that he would be sending someone along to have me killed. Then he vanished." I felt tears pricking my eyes. "Then Gideon and Marlene showed up and we portkeyed back to the ministry of magic. I could not find you or Sirius, Scrimgeor is dead and I was the only one who could act for the department. I came here as soon as I was able to." I sniffed tears back. "I'm just so glad you're ok. I was so worried that you were more than hurt, I don't know what I would do if I lost you Uncle Al."

"Well I'm right here kiddo. I'm not going to go anywhere anytime soon." He smiled up at me, his magical eye swiveling. "Now you said you didn't know where Sirius is eh?"

"No." I shook my head. "No one knows where he is." I felt more tears threaten to fall. "James seen him last battling against Malfoy and Bellatrix, that was it. And there are so many more people still unaccounted for."

"He's in Azkaban. Just before Lestrange hit me with that slashing hex he told me he was going to take a group of people further inside, to make sure no one was taken hostage."

My gut dropped at his words, if that were true, that would mean that Sirius himself was hostage or worse… dead.

"Oh." I told him softly trying with all of me to shut off the vortex of sorrow that had overwhelmed me. "Alright then." I nodded. "Get some sleep ok? I've got to go back to the Ministry, I've got Dumbledore and Remus there for now."

"I'm proud of you kiddo." He smiled at me crookedly. "I always knew you had it in you."

"Thank you Uncle Al." I said leaning forward and hugging him. "I love you."

"I love you too pumpkin." He kissed my forehead just as Dorcas walked back into the room with a cup of tea.

"Alastor!" she cried setting the tea down on the table next to Professor McGonagall and I. "Oh Alastor, I was so worried!" she dropped down and kissed him flat on the lips.

With a sigh, I stood up from the bed and picked up the cup of tea that Dorcas had made for me and walked over to the Professor. She gave me a sad smile and motioned for me to sit back down next to her in the chair to her left. I sat down carefully, raised the cup to my lips, and reveled in the smell that was raspberry tea. The first drink was pure and sweet, and made my insides go warm. The second drink made everything in the world melt away from me blissfully. The third drink made me feel sleepy, really _really_ sleepy and with a wave of lazy realization, I knew there was a sleeping serum in the tea. I looked up at the Professor who was just smiling at me and pulling away the cup she sat it down on the table next to her and braced an arm around me as I tried and failed to stand. Then I felt the world slip away from me, as James and little Nymphadora walked into the room with smiles on their faces. Then my head fell back into the chair as my eyes drifted closed and I knew no more.

…scene…end…

Authors Note:

Here you all go, chapter 13 : )


	13. Divine Conspiracies

Story: Why Don't You & I

Author: theherbflower

Chapter 13:

Playlist:

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of jk, or the music I use to bring out the muse within me.

Chapter 13: Divine Conspiracies

I'd fight for you,

I'd lie, its true;

Give my life for you,

You know that I'd always come for you.

ooOOooOOooOOoo

The world seemed to fade back into color when my eyes fluttered open. It was as if I had just been thrust back into a world that I once knew, that I had once been a part of, but long ago had forgotten. It felt as if I had been sleeping for years, and this was the first time I felt the stirrings of life flutter back within me. I was lying in a comfortable place, warm and safe, staring straight up above me at a domed white ceiling. I swallowed roughly and tried to think. The first fleeting thought that passed through my mind was my name, Gwendolyn Ackles, but I hated my name both the first and the last. The second thought that went through my mind was that I needed to find someone, so badly it seemed as if my life was dependent upon it. I sat up and looked around me; a familiar man was asleep in the chair next to my bed. I blinked a few times trying to figure out who it was when my world came barreling back into me and I knew who I was, where I was, and who the man was. I was at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the Hospital Wing. The man sleeping in the chair next to me was none other than Sirius Black, the one person who I had been trying to find. But it didn't make sense, just yesterday I was out fighting death eaters and trying to save the ministry. How was it possible for me to be here right now, how was it possible for him to be here right now when he was the one person that was lost and that I was trying to locate.

"Sirius!" I snapped sitting up straight in the bed. "Wake up now!"

"Huh?" he looked up bleary eyed at me. "Gwen!" he said happily. "You're awake!"

"Why the bloody hell was I asleep in the first damn place!"

"Well." He sighed looking down. "I err don't um…"

"Spit it out!" I glared. "Why did Dorcas drug me?"

"Because you were planning on getting yourself killed over me, and she thought it best for you to be asleep."

"What are you doing here? The last I checked you were at Azkaban with Voldemort!"

"Yeah well I was only there for a few days, James and Remus came bursting in with a whole squadron of Auror's and order members. We weren't able to take back the prison, but we got all of our men out."

"Wait, a few days? I was just going to get you yesterday!"

"Err well. James and Remus though it would be best if you remained somewhere safe, so did you Uncle for that matter. So they well, they convinced Dorcas it was a good idea that you should be kept incapacitated for a while considering there are death eaters out there trying to get you and I was informed you didn't care if they did get you, as long as…"

I cut him off.

"As long as I could find you!" I snapped. "Do you honestly think that it is within me to just sit idly by why you were out there possibly hurt if not worse! I was terrified, and yes, I didn't care if they got me, I still don't because I know Voldemort and I know he'll get what he wants just like always!"

"Listen to yourself Gwendolyn, you sound like a raving nutter!"

"What?"

"I would have wanted you safe, and that's exactly what the people that love and care about you did, make sure you were safe."

"How long have I been asleep?" I demanded. "How long have I been here?"

"Three weeks." A new voice spoke from my left. I looked up to find my uncle walking towards me with a prominent limp on his right leg. "We all felt it the best solution for your safety to keep you here asleep."

"That wasn't any of your choice! It was mine and exactly what I wouldn't have wanted."

"Gwen." Uncle Al sat down at the foot of my bed. "That is the exact reason why we did what we did." He sighed gruffly. "Don't be angry Gwendolyn, the last thing that I want in this world is to lose you. I needed to make sure that you were ok, and that you would remain so. The only way to keep you from running off halfcocked and taking on your death was to keep you unconscious. I agree with what Dorcas did one-hundred percent. And you should be happy, after all we did find Sirius and we did save the day, even if half way. Besides," he sighed again. "I think that there is something that Dorcas would like to discuss with you. After all, she would not have done what she did if she did not find a good enough reason to do so."

"It wasn't right!" I snapped feeling my eyes start to leak with water. "I was only going to do what my heart told me to do!"

"Gwen." Sirius sighed from my right. "Do you remember what Moody told us, after we started dating?"

"What?" I asked feeling tears slip down my cheeks easily now.

"He told us that he knew what it was like to be young and in love, and to not let your feelings get in the way when you're caught up in the heat of the battle."

"So!" I snapped wiping my eyes. "It's not like I've got long until I'm tracked down! And you know it!" I moved my legs outside of the bed so that could stand. "I am not afraid of death, I never have been. Not for myself." I shook my head. "But I can't stand the idea of losing either of you." I turned to Sirius. "Especially you! I would crawl across the earth for you! I would always come for you! That was all that I was trying to do!"

"Getting yourself killed isn't what I would have wanted Gwendolyn. Knowing that you were safe was all that I needed. I watched as you, Prewett, and McKinnon portkeyed back to the Ministry. I knew you would be ok without me, or at least I thought I did. I did what I had to do, and going to Azkaban to save the men that were trapped there by those bastards is what I knew in my heart was what I had to do."

"But that's not fair!" I stood up in front of him. "That's not fair! You should have known how I would have reacted! I can't help it!"

"I know now." He sighed. "I can't promise you that I'll never do it again, because in this war there are things worth dying for." He smiled sadly brushing a loose strand of hair out of my face. "I love you, and I never want to leave you, but I cannot promise that I won't because you can't either."

"So what? You plan on dying? You plan on just leaving me all alone?"

"No, I don't." he sighed cupping my cheek and whipping off a few stray tears. "But I can't promise that I won't, and neither can you. There are things worth dying for Gwendolyn, and you have to understand that."

"What if I don't want to!"

"Then you're being unreasonable."

"What if I don't want to be reasonable!"

"Then I'd say that you're being stupid Gwen. You can't just want things a certain way and expect them to be that way. I love you, and I never want to leave you, but just because I never want to leave you, that does not mean I will ever get what I want. We have now, we have here and we have now. Cannot that be enough?"

"It is." I felt tears roll from my eyes again. "It is." I pulled him to me and hugged him fiercely.

..scene..change..

"What is that ungodly smell?" I asked, as my nose crinkled as the onslaught of that horrid smell stuck somewhere between smoked salmon and raspberry cheesecake. It had been two days since I had been released from the hospital ward of Hogwarts. "Smells god awful."

"Gwen honey, are you ok?" Dorcas asked me with a slight raise of her eyebrow. "It's plum trifle, your Uncle told me it was one of your favorite deserts."

"Then how do you explain that horrid fish smell?" I asked standing up and walking over to the kitchen window and opening it so that I could smell anything but the room I was in at headquarters.

"Fish? Sweetie I made roast lamb, there is no fish." Dorcas told me with a worried eye. "Why don't you sit down sweet heart and I'll go and grab you a fresh cup of tea."

"I suppose." I sighed siting down in the chair next to the window, the window still open.

It was raining again, but then again as it was England's rainy season…

"Gwendolyn, you are needed in the front parlor. Albus wishes to speak to you." My Uncle called with his head popped though the kitchen door. "Come on now, we've not got all damned day Gwendolyn."

"Alright." I sighed standing up. All at once my head spun and my stomach lurched, and all I wanted to do was run straight up to the loo and lose the contents of my stomach which couldn't be much as I'd not eaten since this morning due to the uneasiness that my stomach had adopted ever since I woke up in the hospital wing. "I'm coming." I told him walking out into the parlor.

Dumbledore was standing holding a brandy talking with my uncle and Auror Higgins next to the fireplace. I walked over slowly, trying to keep reign on my need to be sick.

"Ahh Gwen, please join us. I've wanted to discuss a few matters with you." Dumbledore told me as I made my way over to him. "Now tell me, how are both you and Sirius fairing?"

"Sirius?" I asked critically with a wince as my stomach bubbled again. "Fine. We're both great Sir."

"That is wonderful to hear. One might worry that with you both working on and off the field that problem's would arise."

"Nope." I smiled at him faintly. "Everything is just fine; actually I really love both aspects Sir. I feel privileged."

"That is good; love always does work in mysterious ways." Dumbledore told me with a twinkle in his eye. "You look rather pale dear, are you alright?"

"Oh I am fine." I smiled at him lightly. "I think I'm catching a stomach bug, I've been queasy something terrible all day."

"Oh? Just today?" He asked cheerfully.

"On and off the last two days or so." I replied blinking and swallowing slowly as to not cause my stomach upturning. "I think Dorcas is already working on a pepper up."

"Gwendolyn, do you need to sit?" My Uncle asked with a worried glance at me. "You don't look so good, you're sweating."

"What?" I asked wiping my forehead to in fact find beads of sweat. "No I'm fine. Just need a good glass of whiskey." I replied grabbing a glass and decanter from the mantle and pouring a glass.

"Gwendolyn maybe that's not such a good idea." Uncle Al stated pulling the glass from my grasp before I could take a drink. "Come on, sit down."

"I am fine Uncle Al. Trust me." I told him taking back the glass and taking a long drink of the amber liquid.

All at once I was aware of two things. One, drinking alcohol was the worst idea that I have ever had in this life; and two, upset stomachs and fire whiskey do not mix. After taking the long drink out of the glass I quickly felt the contents of my stomach come straight up. I shoved the glass back at my uncle who grabbed it as I bent over on my hands and knees and threw my guts up, on Albus Dumbledore's shoes. I felt tears spring my eyes as I sat back on my knees and looked up in sheer horror. I had just gotten sick on one of the greatest wizards in the world because I was stubborn, and obviously stupid. With a smile, twinkle of an eye, and a wave of a wand the mess I had just created was quickly magic'ed away. I felt my uncle grab me around my arms and drag me upwards into a standing position.

"Are you ok?" Dumbledore asked with a slight tilt of his head to the right. "Please do not worry dear, that is not the first time a student of mine has been sick on or near me. But I would like to offer my congratulations."

"Huh?" I asked raising my eyebrow. "And I'm so sorry sir."

"Please. It is of no matter, I am sure that Dorcas can whip up a wonderful soothing draught for your condition. I must be going now however; I have to meet a friend of mine for dinner in ten. Please don't worry yourself, we are all human." His eyes twinkled at me as me nodded to Auror Higgins and my uncle before leaving Head Quarters. I looked up at my uncle in awe, what in the hell had just happened? What did he mean by my condition and congratulations for what?"

"Come on Gwendolyn, let's get you into the kitchen to Dorcas."

A few short minutes later found me sitting at the dining table in the kitchen next to an open window with a cup of steaming chamomile tea in my hands. Dorcas was over a cauldron brewing something, while my uncle sat in a chair next to me with a sour look on his face.

"Uncle Alastor, what in the bloody hell is going on?" I asked taking a sip of my tea mug before setting it down on the table and pulling my cloak around me tightly.

"I'm going to kill your boyfriend is what's going on pumpkin." He told me darkly. "Just drink your tea and stay calm."

"Why?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "What did he do?"

"I'm not for sure yet, not until Dorcas finishes with the Gravida Potion."

"The Gravida Potion?" I asked feeling dread wash over me. "What the hell do I need a Gravida Potion for?"

"So that I can discern whether I've a protégé of mine to kill or not." He replied darkly.

"I'm not!" I snapped angrily. "So I got sick, that doesn't mean anything."

"Gwendolyn, can you honestly tell me that you aren't?" he asked his eyes level with mine.

"I…" I trailed off. It was not possible, I could not be. There was no way in hell that I would ever be, could ever be, and was ever going to be. "I don't know."

"My point exactly, now just hang tight, Dorcas should be done any minute."

"Any moment would be now dear." Dorcas said with a smile as she walked over to the table with a corked flagon of pink liquid in one hand and a needle in the other. "Now Gwen dear, this is easy enough. I need a prick of blood and we'll know instantaneously." She told me grabbing my right hand. "This is your wand hand isn't it?"

"Yes." I replied breathlessly.

"Alright." She smiled as she took the needle and pricked my forefinger on my right hand before she uncorked the flagon of Gravida Potion and squeezed my finger over it so that a couple droplets of my blood fell into the potion. The potion started to glow an alarming shade of golden, and I felt my chest tighten.

"Well?" I asked again just as breathlessly.

"Gwen sweetheart, you're pregnant."

And that was the last thing I remember before passing out.

AN: Sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy'ed

thf


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